Most Useless toy you owned

[BN9 BHA]

or

My uncle bought me a a Slinky, he was either stupid or didn't like me very much as I lived in a bungalow!

 

[Danny-Boy]

A balsa-wood glider kit, it took HOURS to put together then I took it to the park with Dad, it crashed to the ground first flight and fell apart.

The only good thing was the high I got from sniffing the glue!

 

[Fungus]

I loved the Magic Robot, and it's still available today. At least the questions made it interesting for a while.

The most useless toy I had was Johnny Astro - a balloon and a fan...

 

[The Stout Yeoman]

By rights, Play-Doh should just have been called Doh, it was that stupid. You only had to play with it once and you ended up with a shit brown lump of plasticene with a couple of coloured swirls in it. Might as well have played with a dog turd.

yeah but it smelt luvvly ....

 

[catfish]

The Slinky did lose it's appeal after you relised it could only go down the stairs.

 

[Justice]

AK47 didn't come with any bullets, told mum I would rather of had a bike.

 

[brakespear]

Buckeroo. I'm sure it's a great game but my dad stood on mine on Christmas day when I was 8. He said he was going to replace it but he never did, not that I'm bitter or anything. 32 now, still waiting and would still be a happy recipient of a new Buckeroo.

If it's any help, I had Buckeroo and disliked it. On a similar vein my space Action Man that I got for Christmas had his arm broken off by my cousin on Christmas Day. THey never replaced it either.

 

[cloud]

The Octagonal rubiks cubes

http://www.jaapsch.net/puzzles/images/octagon.jpg

 

[Nibble]

For some reason when I was younger I got into collecting these weird little freaky men/mutants called Muscle Men I think. Small, odd little pink creations. Little blokes with odd mutations. One had bricks for hands, other had a sharks head etc. You bought them in little tubs made to look like dustbins with about 10 of them inside. I was obsessed. They were absolutely useless.

 

[Telscombe Seagull]

Had the original Big Trax, was great for 5 mins then the dog decided it was more fun to kill it whenever it moved... Never got to use it again other than to wedge doors open!

 

[banjo]

Plastic soldier and parachute.

 

[Nibble]

View attachment 50684

Plastic soldier and parachute.

Ha! I used to have those. I'd drop them over the bannister at the top of the staircase. They would usually hit the ground before deploying their chute properly and on the rare occasion the chute caught some air they would spin uncontrollably and you spent the next hour untangling the string before repeating the pointless airdrop. Total cack.

 

[Puppet Master]

Boglins

 

[Nibble]

View Master. With those discs of pictures. You could get anything from A-Team cartoons to weird shots of foreign cities. Strangely fascinating but totally useless. A really odd concept for a children's toy.

Oh and Madballs.

 

[Simster]

In 1986, I had £35 burning a whole in my pocket after a birthday, so I wasted on this crap:

Totally shit bit of kit.

 

[Danny-Boy]

My nephew was OBSESSED with HE-MAN and Masters of the Universe, I guess he'd be very embarassed to admit that now. Andd that he's a Spurs fan.

 

[Easy 10]

'Hungry Hippos'. Absolutely ZERO skill or strategy involved. Just hammer that trigger like buggery. Thats it. Rubbish.

Also, what was ever the POINT of an Action Man parachute ? In my minds eye I had visions of throwing him up in the air from my bedroom window, seeing the parachute unfurl, billow and bulge in the breeze, before watching enthralled as the moulded plastic khaki eunuch rode the wind and drifted dreamily down into the garden below. Gosh, careful Easy Jnr, check the wind direction first, or he may drift over to next door !

The reality of course was that the 'chute would stay stubbornly screwed up in a tangle of string, as Action Man completed a few mid-air somersaults, before reaching the pinnacle of his haphazard arc and falling to earth in an unstoppable and wholly uninspiring death-plunge.

I might as well have chucked a Barbie in a wedding dress.

 

[IndependentWSU]

In 1986, I had £35 burning a whole in my pocket after a birthday, so I wasted on this crap:

Totally shit bit of kit.

My Mum had that Casio, she wanted to learn the piano!!! All I can remember was Greensleeves being played on 'auto-play' over and over. Was it really £35 jeeezz

 

[Gazwag]

Can't find a photo but there was this submarine which you put some sort of pill in and put it in the bath. The pill was surposed to make the submarine surface the then sink again, don't think it ever worked and then you ran out of pills so that was that.

 

[Nibble]

In 1986, I had £35 burning a whole in my pocket after a birthday, so I wasted on this crap:

Totally shit bit of kit.

My older Brother had one. He would make me press one key over and over again as he performed "Chariots of Fire" for Uncles and Aunts and my Mother insisting he was some kind of modern day Mozart and him lapping it up as I continually pressed the one key, only there to serve the "genius" of my older Brother.