I've been accused of having an affair

[Goring Gull]

Morning,

Quick background here - last Friday we had a children in need day at work and everyone came in in school uniform. I was off shift and no where near work, in fact I was with my partner all day.

There I was happily watching Gordon Ramsey's kitchen nightmares last night, as you do and the following conversation ensued.

partner "How did the children in need day go?"

GG " quite well I think raised a few quid not sure how much though"

Partner "Did everyone dress up?"

GG " Most people I think, saw a picture of bloke at work dressed up as a headmaster"

Partner "What did the girls wear then?"

GG " not sure"

Partner "but you said you saw some pictures"

GG " I saw a picture of bloke at work as a headmaster but as far as I know that was the only picture" (Which is true, mores the pity)

Partner " You've got that lying face on" (translates as I'm grinning or looking bemused therefore I MUST be lying)

GG "What are you on about?" (By this point I'm nearly laughing thinking what the hell is this about now)

Partner " but your grinning now, what's so funny, I think your having an affair"

Now where all this has come from! I have no idea, the thing that gets me is when am I supposed to be having this affair? I never get anytime to myself a sit is.

Needless to say she seemed fine this morning and didn't mention anything. I wonder sometimes, I really do.

Anyone decipher this female code?

 

[Timbo]

Loopy. Get rid.

 

[British Bulldog]

I would'nt even try & understand how a womans mind works if I was you, You'll just end up more confused than they are.

 

[El Presidente]

Women are a bit paranoid because they know that so many of their fellow chicks are SLUT FACED WHORES.

 

[tedebear]

eh? She seemed fine this morning after accusing you of cheating? Sounds like she wasn't serious - but a very weird thing to be joking about, as far as I'm concerned its not a joking matter - more a relationship ending matter!!

weird!

 

[seagull@stirling]

Maybe you can do a points table...

1 point if you grinned for each question

2 points if you got your Nat King Cole afterwards

3 Points if you where wearing your Albion strip with he ticket stub for the Tranmere match in your hand

.......

5 points if you are having an affair and got away with it

 

[Les Biehn]

All women are mental. Thats all it is.

 

[crasher]

The best form of defence is attack. And, as any Freudian psycho-anyalyst will tell you, the fact that she turned to the subject of affairs/sex during Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is highly significant.

Tonight I would accuse her of carrying on with celebrity chef. Can she prove she's not been with him? Can she deny she does't hold a torch for the potty-mouthed self-publicist? If she can't give you satisfactory answers to either of these questions then I think we can be sure she and Ramsay are at it.

The next step would be to sell the story of their affair to the News of the World.

Trust me GG - you need to get in early and hard on this one.

 

[Uncle C]

Shes probably having an affair herself, and hoping you are so she has a cop out.

 

[British Bulldog]

All women are mental. Thats all it is.

 

[Willow]

Yes, it all makes sense now. Haven't you started going to more football matches lately? All the time telling us you were making the long trip to Withdean for football reasons, you were actually getting your end away with some piece of office fluff. Goring, how could you, you naughty boy

 

[tedebear]

All women are mental. Thats all it is.

Excellent use of generalisation!

 

[NMH]

I hate to fuel your relationship with paranoia, but often, an accuser is someone who is thinking of doing it themselves - or already doing it.

You 'might' want to have a serious chat with your partner about this, and no breaking out in silly grins or bemused looks. Just seriousness and plain talk, or else there are bad seeds that can grow.

 

[Goring Gull]

eh? She seemed fine this morning after accusing you of cheating? Sounds like she wasn't serious - but a very weird thing to be joking about, as far as I'm concerned its not a joking matter - more a relationship ending matter!!

weird!

Exactly - reckon i'llbe followed on saturday to make sure I am going to Donny

 

[Les Biehn]

Excellent use of generalisation!

Is it a generalisation if it's true?

 

[tedebear]

Is it a generalisation if it's true?

Well I'm not mental - so am I not female?

 

[Rambo]

Has to be the 'time of the month'

*takes cover from all NSC women.

 

[Les Biehn]

Well I'm not mental - so am I not female?

Yes, but you are the only one who isn't mental.

 

[Goring Gull]

I hate to fuel your relationship with paranoia, but often, an accuser is someone who is thinking of doing it themselves - or already doing it.

You 'might' want to have a serious chat with your partner about this, and no breaking out in silly grins or bemused looks. Just seriousness and plain talk, or else there are bad seeds that can grow.

I'm putting some of it down to her self confidence - since she has had our son she has worried about her weight, she has lost two stone and in my opinion looks as good as ever - certainley no different to when we met.

I've been really suppotive about this changing how we eat etc and encouraging her - as you can imagine this issue with many women can be a minefield.

Ever since though she has become convinced i perv over other women - ok i may look but who doesn't but definitely not when she is not around not even a sneeky glance knowing how she feels about this.

I'm pretty positive i have not given her any reason to think i am up to no good - Which i am definitely not. Now i will be worrying about what i say etc in case i mention any particular females name to often.

I'll just tread carefully and see how it goes.

 

[British Bulldog]

Ever since though she has become convinced i perv over other women - ok i may look but who doesn't but definitely when she is not around not even a sneeky glance knowing how she feels about this.

I dont get all this not being able to look at other women mullarky!