I got stitched......

[Icy Gull]

Hide a kipper in his room near a heater. i take it you don't also share a room ?

 

[East Staffs Gull]

Park your car illegally, so the next time he tries it you'll have a good reason to go and move it.

 

[Commander]

Soak his favourite clothes in the bath, them put them in the freezer. Works particularly well with jeans.

 

[Hampden Park]

remove the back cover of his television, curl one down onto the tube, replace the aforementioned cover and let him enjoy the smell. it should take him ages to locate the pooh.

if he has a flat screen telly shit in his pillowcase.

 

[Wilka]

Last night, i recieved a telephone call from a police officer, saying my car was parked illegally and that it was to be towed away unless I get to my car and move it imediatly. I would like to point out that I live in Chichester, and in a permit area, and currently do not have a permit. At this point it was monsoon weather outside, yet, as I shit myself my housemate and I ran in the weather to my car, in shorts and a t-shirt and flip flops. I get to the car, find know police officers and my mates with a camera and pissing themselves. It was all staged and they got me an absolute treat.

I turn to Northstandchat, as it is now time for comeuppance. Anyone got any suggestions ? I was thinking about gettin hold of a clamp, but i wouldnt no where to go for that....your thoughts would be much appreciated.

I think you will find you were actually "merked" in the words of Rio.....

 

[jonny.rainbow]

Another one we did to a girl we lived with's boyfriend was manage to encase his entire car in bin liners. Very cheap from Wilkinson. Then pile all the rubbish from the street on top of it. All done to coincide with rubbish collection day.

 

[MikeySmall]

Next time he passes out shove a Cadbury's camarel up his ass - he'll have the worst chuff nuts for weeks....

 

[Goodfella]

Cement his shoes, so he will have to walk out bare foot?

You never know though, he just might have another pair.

 

[Basil Fawlty]

You never know though, he just might have another pair.

Then do the whole lot of shoes.

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

Put washing powder in his sugar

 

[Goodfella]

Then do the whole lot of shoes.

Might not have enough cement.

 

[Goodfella]

Put washing powder in his sugar

sweet.

 

[Normal Rob]

send him a turd in a jiffy bag and cover it with those polystyrene packing chips so he has to reach in to get what's inside.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Can't you do the old put his hand in a bowl of water whilst he is asleep to make him wet the bed.

 

[Everest]

Might not have enough cement.

Then do his feet.

 

[John Dorian]

He is a cagey kind of guy, he locks his bedroom door when he goes to bed, everything is done systematically with him and i'm a little worried i'm not gonna get him back. the little c**t.

Anyone know how I can get hold of a wheel clamp ?

 

[Wardy]

He is a cagey kind of guy, he locks his bedroom door when he goes to bed, everything is done systematically with him and i'm a little worried i'm not gonna get him back. the little c**t.

Anyone know how I can get hold of a wheel clamp ?

I am sure you can buy them. You can at least get fake ones. I will have a look for you.

 

[Wardy]

Have a look here

Clamps from £35+ vat.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Wedge a potato up his exhaust ....

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

I very long time ago, I rode around on a noisy two-stroke motorcycle (expansion chamber exhausts) - I'd parked up one day outside the King and Queen and when I came back there was a police notice taped to my saddle to say that I had been repored for too much noise and I had to go up to John Street and be properly sound tested.

When I got there, the desk sergent said the PCnnnn on the ticket did not exist but the bastards still did me a souind check and told me I had to quieten down - weeks later a mate came clean and confessed he made it up (he was actually concerned that the old bill might come looking for him for impersonating a copper!