How was your POO today?

[Simster]

Everytime I take a dump at work, this is the sort of thread I consider starting. So well done El Pres, on doing it.

Two STINKERS for me, by the way. Unpleasant.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I had a small nightmare yesterday. Out running, i was. 8.30am. Winter had the sun's hat on and was taunting him with some V-signs and that one where you're thrusting an imaginary willy into your mouth so that it pokes the inside of your cheek. The streets were strewn with conkers. Some excellent-looking cheese-cutters. I'd run for about 25 minutes when i suddenly had a desperate urge to have a big wee AND a dangerously-wet poo. I soldiered on for a while, refusing to fart, until i found a park. My girlfriend had bought me some new Seagulls pants, so there was no way i could have the poo in a bush, use my pants as a wiper and then just throw them up a tree. So, i let out the piss and crept back home with bumcheeks clenched. 20 minutes and no seepage. Epic struggle. Man defeats wet poo. You can imagine the headlines now.

This morning, i did a simple 3-inch twiglet.

 

[Hiney]

I had a small nightmare yesterday. Out running, i was. 8.30am. Winter had the sun's hat on and was taunting him with some V-signs and that one where you're thrusting an imaginary willy into your mouth so that it pokes the inside of your cheek. The streets were strewn with conkers. Some excellent-looking cheese-cutters. I'd run for about 25 minutes when i suddenly had a desperate urge to have a big wee AND a dangerously-wet poo. I soldiered on for a while, refusing to fart, until i found a park. My girlfriend had bought me some new Seagulls pants, so there was no way i could have the poo in a bush, use my pants as a wiper and then just throw them up a tree. So, i let out the piss and crept back home with bumcheeks clenched. 20 minutes and no seepage. Epic struggle. Man defeats wet poo. You can imagine the headlines now.

This morning, i did a simple 3-inch twiglet.

Your bowel movements haven't been kind to you recently, have they?

May I suggest an investment in some Tena Lady disposable PANTS. After overcoming initial embarrasment and no small degree of discomfort, these time-saving and discreet garments could save you hours, not to mention helping you to avoid those difficult situations when you are too far from the nearest Convenience.

 

[Meade's Ball]

Your bowel movements haven't been kind to you recently, have they?

May I suggest an investment in some Tena Lady disposable PANTS. After overcoming initial embarrasment and no small degree of discomfort, these time-saving and discreet garments could save you hours, not to mention helping you to avoid those difficult situations when you are too far from the nearest Convenience.

Ta.
I've been drinking a little too much and forgetting about fruit and ruffage. My insides are unhappy with me, so i'm thinking about doing some sort of minor detox. I will miss my sloppy poos though.

 

[JJ McClure]

14:29.
Still Waiting.

 

[dwayne]

do shits get worse. As u get older?I seem to go more these days

Thanks in advance

 

[Uncle Buck]

do shits get worse. As u get older?I seem to go more these days

Thanks in advance

Depends how much you spout....

 

[Faldo]

I had one earlier - a little bit stingy due to recent alcohol and spice excesses... the worst came during the clean up! No matter how much I wiped, the stuff kept coming! I must have used up a half a roll of (work) toilet paper! In the end, I cut my losses, and will probably pop back for a revisit in an hour or so.

Itchy.

 

[bhafc99]

Man defeats wet poo. You can imagine the headlines now.

Jogger's soggy logger

 

[Meade's Ball]

Man fights log.

 

[Brightonian74]

I hate those poohs when you feel so relieved to drop it off and think it's going to be a big 'un only to turn around once up and see that the bastard thing has gone up to u-bend therefore feeling a lil demoralised not to see the hard work.

 

[Trufflehound]

When you live in a country where the standard toilet bowl design has a ledge to catch the poo and prevent splashback, you are denied the thrill of leaping up to check on the buoyancy factor.

Leaving them high and dry does, however, guarantee that every last one is a stinker.

 

[bhaexpress]

Well, three sinkers and two floaters for me

Three sinkers ? You don't have enough fibre in your diet young man !

 

[Chicken Run]

Well, three sinkers and two floaters for me

Are you meant to be a uni lecturer or somthing?

 

[El Presidente]

Re: Re: How was your POO today?

Are you meant to be a uni lecturer or somthing?

I believe I am, but I don't teach POO logistics, especially at weekends.

I personally thought that floaters were a sign of not enough roughage as by definition they must have a density of less than 1, consequently they must contain too much fat (which is not dense) and not enough fibre (which is).

Here endeth the lesson

 

[Brightonian74]

Is there a particular time you have your daily pooh? I usually am like clockwork between 6pm - 7pm.

 

[Goodfella]

I've just dropped 3 of the biggest logs ever!

Now i know what it's like to give birth to triplets

 

[Chicken Run]

Is there a particular time you have your daily pooh? I usually am like clockwork between 6pm - 7pm.

between 6-7am the first ciggie of the day often brings on the contractions