Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
So, ever been caught with your pants/knickers down ? I won't tell.
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Have you ever been caught having a wank ?
- Thread starter Easy 10
- Start date
Meade's Ball
Well-known member
Yes.
In my student house some years ago. My mate came in to offer me a cup of tea. I reared up, my head and face immersed in the tawdriest sweat (it was my second of the day), and quickly thought of my excuse. I told him i had been having a "terrible nightmare" and gave him a detailed description of the awful imagining. There were gangs and bloodied limbs and unearthly screams (much like what i was thinking of anyway).
A year later, i revealed to him that i had been feverishly going at it for some time. Now, i am regularly asked if i have had any recent nightmares.
Now, you promised you won't tell?
In my student house some years ago. My mate came in to offer me a cup of tea. I reared up, my head and face immersed in the tawdriest sweat (it was my second of the day), and quickly thought of my excuse. I told him i had been having a "terrible nightmare" and gave him a detailed description of the awful imagining. There were gangs and bloodied limbs and unearthly screams (much like what i was thinking of anyway).
A year later, i revealed to him that i had been feverishly going at it for some time. Now, i am regularly asked if i have had any recent nightmares.
Now, you promised you won't tell?
Vinyl Richie
New member
Trotster said:
why does everyone on this site say "prev"?
shouldn't it be perv? not that it's bothering me!!!!!
Shizuoka Dolphin
NSC M0DERATOR
And it's no, nay, never!
berkshire seagull
New member
Aged 14 i was jacking off in a mates room over a mag while he popped out and to the horror his sister walked in and i was shell shocked and she spread the word about bitch or what.
berkshire seagull
New member
She was a minger trust meSimster said:No. Top lass.
Its not that often people get caught and most will never be caught,but my mate has been caught by his sisters and mum.
¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤
Banned
When I get really excited, I make noises like a squirrel on acid
bhaexpress
New member
Pardon ?
¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤
Banned
Oops sorry I was thinking out loud again
berkshire seagull
New member
Its the only time my hand gets proper exercise
Soton Seagull
Well-known member
I caught my old house mate meeting Mrs Palmer and her 5 lovely daughters in the lounge a couple of years back. I saw some breasts bouncing up and down on the TV screen, tyrned to my left and in one movement he managed to put it back in his undires, and press stop on the video.
He begged me not to tell everyone, but a story like that can't be kept in. Also, he was doing it in a communal lounge, in my other house mate's chair!
He begged me not to tell everyone, but a story like that can't be kept in. Also, he was doing it in a communal lounge, in my other house mate's chair!
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Lush
Mods' Pet
A friend of mine tells a tale of "enjoying himself with some of his favourite magazines" upstairs one afternoon with the bedroom door safely locked.
He lived in one of those houses where the front driveway goes down from the road.
He looked up to find that the No. 24 bus had taken a detour and was stopped outside his house, with all the passengers on the top deck looking in.
He lived in one of those houses where the front driveway goes down from the road.
He looked up to find that the No. 24 bus had taken a detour and was stopped outside his house, with all the passengers on the top deck looking in.
My Mother said
That I never should
Play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
their giggling talk i could never understand
and that's why i fell in love with my right hand
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my hood
I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over spain
I've wanked in an omnibus
I've even had a wank in a plane
I've used a melon
and a badger and a cat
an inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a Davy Crockett hat
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker etc. etc.
Oh Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters
Thank you for having me and being oh so kind
I've got veins on my arms and
my knees have turned to water
(line missing here - can't remember)
and I think I'm going blind
Ivor Biggun and The Red- Nosed Burglars
The best Christmas song ever
I can't remember any more of the lyrics - can anyone help me?
That I never should
Play with the naughty rude girls in the wood
their giggling talk i could never understand
and that's why i fell in love with my right hand
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and it does me good like it bloody well should
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my hood
I've wanked over Italy
I've wanked over spain
I've wanked in an omnibus
I've even had a wank in a plane
I've used a melon
and a badger and a cat
an inflatable Linda Lovelace
and a Davy Crockett hat
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker etc. etc.
Oh Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters
Thank you for having me and being oh so kind
I've got veins on my arms and
my knees have turned to water
(line missing here - can't remember)
and I think I'm going blind
Ivor Biggun and The Red- Nosed Burglars
The best Christmas song ever
I can't remember any more of the lyrics - can anyone help me?
No 6
New member
The Winker's Song (misprint)
By Ivor Biggun
The Winker's Album (1978)
Transcribed from disc by Martin Rundkvist
My mother said that I never should
play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood.
Their giggling talk I could never understand,
and that's why I fell in love with my right hand.
And that's why
(Chorus)
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed,
and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD.
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free.
And that's why
(Repeat Chorus)
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain.
I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train.
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,
an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat.
And that's why
(Repeat Chorus)
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
Thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
By Ivor Biggun
The Winker's Album (1978)
Transcribed from disc by Martin Rundkvist
My mother said that I never should
play with the naughty, rude girls in the wood.
Their giggling talk I could never understand,
and that's why I fell in love with my right hand.
And that's why
(Chorus)
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pud'.
I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed,
and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD.
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free.
And that's why
(Repeat Chorus)
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain.
I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train.
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,
an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat.
And that's why
(Repeat Chorus)
Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
Thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is getting shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
cheshunt seagull
Well-known member
- Jul 5, 2003
- 2,576
Staying at Granny's house in Worthing, 16 years old. Large duvet, carefully placed tissue and a morning condition that required resolution. Well into my paces and a knock on the door. Too far gone, moving inexorably towards 'le petit mort'. As Granny places breakfast tray next to my bed, greet her breathlessly, and try to ensure that my facial expressions don't reveal what is happening under the covers. Think it worked, but it was not the image which I had hoped to retain in my head at that moment.
No 6
I thank you
I thank you