Have you ever been caught having a wank ?

[No 6]

Walking Your Blues Away (misprint)
By Ivor Biggun
More Filth! Dirt Cheap (1981)
Transcribed from disc by Martin Rundkvist

All those lonely blues songs, you might feel that you wrote 'em.
You might be sad and think that life has kicked you in the scrotum.
Be brave and wipe that teardrop from your eye,
there's one more remedy you can try:

Wanking your blues away,
Wanking your blues away
If you haven't had a promise
And you haven't got a sister or a wife
And your brother's not keen.
You can get to the promised land
The answer's right there in your hand
Try wanking to the rhythm of life

It's a source of some amusement
that the craft of self-abusement
was invented, so it's thought,
by the Greeks and the Westphalians,
perfected by Australians,
developed by the Welsh into a competitive sport.

Wanking your blues away,
Wanking your blues away
Shirt on the floor,
One hand and a metronome
And lots of boogy-woogy
The Cowman sits there on his farm
With loads of blisters on his arm
Wanking 'til the cows come home

(Garle it Ivor!)

It's time to take your trousers down
Lock the door and go to town
You can wipe away your frown and wank your blues away.
Don't worry that you'll lose your sight
Make the world seem gay and bright.
WANKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE and wank your blues away!

Wanking your blues away
Wanking your blues away
It's a harmless hobby, it's what your right arm's for
And not for drinking lager.
The basic kit for masturbation
Is a plonker and a hand and imagination.
Keep wanking 'til you just can't wank no more,
But don't forget to close the bathroom door!

 

[OFAHrulz]

Yes I have

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Finally! A woman admits to it

 

[Lush]

Finally! A woman admits to it

That's because when women do it it's not called wanking - it's called "exploring your sexuality".

 

[watsongooal]

I was watchinhg James Bond once during the day and Mid Wack off I heard the front door go and so have to yank up my trousers, unfortuntaly as my sister walked in i have a little "seepage" in my jeans!!!

 

[bhaexpress]

Yes I have

Well, if you ever need a hand ..........






I'll let Trigger know

 

[Marshy]

A lad at school got caught tossing off on the staff stairs at school by a teacher !

Hed been sent there as a form of detention....got bored and knocked one out by all accounts !

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I was watchinhg James Bond once during the day and Mid Wack off I heard the front door go and so have to yank up my trousers, unfortuntaly as my sister walked in i have a little "seepage" in my jeans!!!

I couldn't even begin to understand the workings of the male mind here, but, let me get this straight, you got a stiffy over a Bond film? And none of the guys on here appear to find that at all weird?



For the benefit of us ladies, would one of you chaps please enlighten us? Is this normal behaviour??

 

[DTES]

I couldn't even begin to understand the workings of the male mind here, but, let me get this straight, you got a stiffy over a Bond film?

I was thinking that. Ok, there are many fit Bond birds, but wanking during a Bond film?

 

[watsongooal]

I was young!!

It was the one where loads of girls are fighting whilst wearing Bikinis!!!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Thank you Hampshire, that is reassuring at least. I was starting to think everyone else on here considered that completely normal!

I wonder which Bond film it was...

From Russia With (Self) Love maybe?

 

[Marshy]

very funny Edna.

 

[Locky]

I couldn't even begin to understand the workings of the male mind here, but, let me get this straight, you got a stiffy over a Bond film? And none of the guys on here appear to find that at all weird?



For the benefit of us ladies, would one of you chaps please enlighten us? Is this normal behaviour??

No can't help you there edna...............
I have a mate who told me he likes to wank over ski sunday.....the downhill lady skiers...........................Now thats weird

 

[Easy 10]

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