Cheeky Monkey
Well-known member
- Jul 17, 2003
- 23,620
Same here. Sometimes grade zero on the plums but that usually ends up in a blood bath if the clipper's teeth snag on the sack.
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gym workout / pubic hair
- Thread starter wahoo
- Start date
Same here. Sometimes grade zero on the plums but that usually ends up in a blood bath if the clipper's teeth snag on the sack.
Clive Walker's slaphead
New member
- Mar 10, 2006
- 515
Do you go to the gym to work out or look at other bloke's bollocks - strange
Blackadder
Brighton Bhuna Boy
¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤;3441248 said:
No we shouldn't!
defrocked priest
Father Footy
¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤;3441248 said:
Your piles pic is testament to that.
Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
Yep, number two for me too - gota keep it trim, who likes a gob-full of pubes whilst administering a BJ ?
The Cardinal
Bishop of Withdean
Eric Potts
Well-known member
No : It isn't really needed .
- Thread starter
- #32
well i popped up the gym this afternoon for a quick, er ,work out and to be honest my first estimate of 75 % shave , well its more like 95% , so its out with the old gillette tomorrow before my workout.
but i read something on another forum about not shaving your arse hair , here it is
It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble crapping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my butt cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling.
Eventually I would have to do two things:
Either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its "Can't-Be-Flushed" threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements."How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel.
Slowly, my twin cheeks and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless mounds of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two butt cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic crap-molecules. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky crap/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch.
DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering crap/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own crap blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: It will be like this until the hair grows back.
Weeks later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt hair: Ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my butt cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out he window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends- Don't shave your butt hair!
but i read something on another forum about not shaving your arse hair , here it is
It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble crapping. No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my butt-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my butt cheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butt hair dwelling.
Eventually I would have to do two things:
Either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its "Can't-Be-Flushed" threshold. I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey, this is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements."How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.
I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my butt of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel.
Slowly, my twin cheeks and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless mounds of a newborn babe. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My butt was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over. Little did I know.
I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two butt cheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry. Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic crap-molecules. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky crap/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch.
DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm. Unfortunately, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my butt off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering crap/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my butt cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own crap blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: It will be like this until the hair grows back.
Weeks later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my butt at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for butt hair: Ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my butt cheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your butt having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out he window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.
Friends- Don't shave your butt hair!
Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
Baby wipes have a place in the adult world too !
Spanish Seagulls
Well-known member
This is the correct answer. And trimming is a must. Shaving your Ass is not.
- Thread starter
- #35
trimming is a must ? since when and does this include a foreskin trim?
Nottseagull
Well-known member
i suppose i could give the old foreskin a trim at the same time
You must be incredibly old if it's reached your foreskin; I'm 51 and it's only a third of the way up the shaft.
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Oh my god, the worrying thing is mate I couldn't tell you what the percentage is at my place, I've never really conducted any research! Still it's not my gym you didn't mention me styled mohican with the pubes dyed blue and white!
¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤
Banned
Shame none of you are dead posh and live in Rottingdean like me. Then there's a chance you might have a bidet which eradicates the problem of tangle berries completely.
Brighton till i die
You havin' a bubble?
Yep full clipper on a monthly basis for me - sort out the chest hair too while i'm there!
grade 1 or 2 all over, except the sack which gets a grade zero but as mentioned above i've had the old snag which bleeds like a mutha!
i HATE birds who have a muff straight out the 1970's, so i think its only fair to expect to keep my shit tight -!!
grade 1 or 2 all over, except the sack which gets a grade zero but as mentioned above i've had the old snag which bleeds like a mutha!
i HATE birds who have a muff straight out the 1970's, so i think its only fair to expect to keep my shit tight -!!