Followed through....

[tedebear]

I once witnessed a young junior licking the bottom of the toilet bowl in the ladies bogs in return for $100 and a bottle of wine that had been sitting on a colleagues desk since Christmas...The colleague had absolutely no knowledge of wine and pronounced it Grunge....

I was nearly sick as I watched - but considering I hated the colleague who was losing the bet, and he had no idea how much the 1998 Bottle of Grange was worth, I felt a certain sense of smugness along with sickness....

 

[Tubby Mondays]

I had to do something similar in the £12 cab i then got home.
I was so damn desperate and it was after 11.30, so i couldn't be sure i'd find a pub to unlimit my bowels in. I thought a park might be nearby or a small trip down the canal might be for the best. I had no time for sight-seeing, so a nearby doorway was the only answer. I also had the thought of showing any catcher the prescription i had in my back pocket, seemingly an excuse for any careless act i carried out.
I certainly don;t remember everything, but i know i had a hot bumcrack in the morning. Don't wipe your anus with an inky Independent, i would say.

I had a similar experience in Blackfriars Station after a curry in Brick Lane the other year. In 30 seconds I went from thinking I must have one when I get home to Im having one right now. I had to run up the esculators without moving my legs above the knees (much to the amusement of my sister and stoat of the moment who knew my predicament), into the toilets, trousers and pants down in one swift movement (no messing about with belts and zips) whilst turning round and backing towards the porcelain. Didnt bother with shutting the door, it had no lock and I couldnt reach it anyway. I had to use a copy of the Daily Mirror though.

 

[TonyW]

I had a similar experience in Blackfriars Station after a curry in Brick Lane the other year. In 30 seconds I went from thinking I must have one when I get home to Im having one right now. I had to run up the esculators without moving my legs above the knees (much to the amusement of my sister and stoat of the moment who knew my predicament), into the toilets, trousers and pants down in one swift movement (no messing about with belts and zips) whilst turning round and backing towards the porcelain. Didnt bother with shutting the door, it had no lock and I couldnt reach it anyway. I had to use a copy of the Daily Mirror though.

The DAILY MIRROR!!!

Think I'd have just pulled em up and gone home smellin of shite instead. Oh hang on, you probably did

 

[Franks Wild Years]

When I was a child I had gastric flu
I was left at home as my mum had something to do
The flu made me sneeze
And my chest it would wheeze
And each time I sneezed I would poo.

Mostly in my bed.



Thats true.

 

[Titanic]

Don't wipe your anus with an inky Independent, i would say.

Sounds like good advice, I'll certainly try not to!

 

[Tubby Mondays]

You walk across the class
And it squirts out your arse
diorreah
diorreah

Some people think its funny
But its really hot and runny
diorreah
diorreah

I was climbing up a tree
and it dribbled down my knee
diorreah
diorreah

I was crawling underneath
And it dribbled through my teeth
diorreah
diorreah

 

[tedebear]

When you're sliding into first
And your pants begin to burst
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into two
And your pants are filled with goo
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into third
And you feel a greasy turd
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

When you're sliding into home
And your pants are filled with foam
That's diarrhea, diarrhea

 

[Lokki 7]

It comes out ya bum
Like a bullet from a gun
diorreah
diorreah

It shoots down the drain
Like a supersonic train
diorreah
diorreah

 

[Cian]

I once witnessed a young junior licking the bottom of the toilet bowl in the ladies bogs in return for $100 and a bottle of wine that had been sitting on a colleagues desk since Christmas...The colleague had absolutely no knowledge of wine and pronounced it Grunge....

I was nearly sick as I watched - but considering I hated the colleague who was losing the bet, and he had no idea how much the 1998 Bottle of Grange was worth, I felt a certain sense of smugness along with sickness....

100 aussie dollars? That + the bottle of wine is about 35 euros value - she licked a bog for that

 

[readingstockport]

100 aussie dollars? That + the bottle of wine is about 35 euros value - she licked a bog for that

I think the clue is in the place where tede wrote HE, not she there myob.

 

[Cian]

I think the clue is in the place where tede wrote HE, not she there myob.

I read the He as the better not the betee, and its in a LADIES bogs after all

 

[Statto]

When it runs don your leg
like a soggy boild egg,
diarreah
diarreah

You feel really cool
when you do it a school
Diarreah
diarreah.

 

[Lokki 7]

Grange is very nice though.

 

[Les Biehn]

I had a minimal accident at work once. I had taken laxatives due to 3 days consitpation. However the next day it just gave me the farts. Trouble was fart 235 was not a fart and I had some pant spillage. By pure coincidence I had spare pants and trousers at work. So just cleaned it up and went on my way. Lovely.

 

[Man of Harveys]

You're expect the usual curl
But you squirt just like a girl
diarrhoea

When you shine the brown laser
That can cut right through your blazer
diarrhoea

 

[Franks Wild Years]

When try as you might
You cant keep in that runny shite
diarrhoea

As they laugh and try and shame us
Cos you've squirted from your anus
diarhoea

 

[Les Biehn]

When your at poo bay
But your strides are in the way
diarrhea

When you chop of bungles finger
But something seems to linger
diarrhea

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Mum wasn't in so I hid it in the bin
Diarrhoea

 

[Man of Harveys]

(I REALLY like this song. I can already picture the music to it in my head - I reckon a bit like the Everly Brothers. Let's release it and raise money to buy a player.)

 

[Seagullible]

worst experience I had was prior to a colonosopy 5 years ago when you have to drink this vile stuff that basically makes you lose all control. Glad I was at home as it would just come straight out without warning - not a nice experience

You start laughing as you run
makes your arse a machine gun
diarrhea
diarrhea