Describe the most annoying tosser in your immediate working vicinity

[Simster]

Mine:

Half oriental bloke called HENRY. Giggles annoyingly at his own (pointless) anecdotes which are always unfunny and plain old shit, sits diagonally opposite me and is one of those who simply doesn't GET IT when you are sending out signals that you don't want to be disturbed right now.

In his defence, he is probably the least annoying "most annoying tosser in the vicinity" I have ever had.


Who's up next?

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Female, blonde, blue eyed, slim, great baps, 5'5, Icelandic, late twenties.

Well come on, wouldn't that annoy you having to look and not touch every day?

 

[SpongebobSquarepants]

Fat French bird who speaks so loud on the phone you can't concentrate and once reported me to my Manager for spending too long on the internet (as if!)

 

[Elvis]

Female, blonde, blue eyed, slim, great baps, 5'5, Icelandic, late twenties.

Well come on, wouldn't that annoy you having to look and not touch every day?

Were you responsible for her recruitment by any chance?

 

[daveinprague]

Czech IT security lead...... he is a complete wanker and annoys me just existing.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

I think it was a punishment recruitment, my boss has a sense of humour!

 

[Questions]

Because I work out and about it varies so much. The other day I was working in a women`s house who spent over an hour and a half telling me about her talents involving homeopathic remedies to cure cancer and the like. Then she told me how she had the gift to `read' people and that she sensed real anger within me at times. Stupid f***ing bitch I was trying to get her kitchen fitted and get back for the Brentford commentary. She spent the rest of the day mixing potions in her utility room. I`m just glad I never saw any small dolls with a nail pouch strapped on them.

 

[bhaexpress]

I have an Orient fan, a Charlton fan, a Gooner, a Chelsea fan, a Liverpool 'fan' and a Saints fan near me, guess which one keeps telling me that their team will catch us and that we are lucky ? I suppose given my location I should be grateful I don't have a Palarse fan nearby.

 

[Badger]

A girl in the OFFICE next door, now you may not consider that the immediate vicinity but hers is very much the only voice I can hear. She is also one of the PMs and I always seem to end up working on her projects so I get the pleasure of having to put up with her BARKING orders at me which according to her is what a project manager is supposed to do. She also neglects to tell me important little details like what date a site launch has been moved to and comes to talk to me on the day saying "have you put that site live yet?"

...and no she isn't, touch, barge pole etc.

 

[Trufflehound]

I work at home, alone.

So i guess it would have to be me then...

 

[KLF]

Mine could very well be YOU in a couple of weeks, Sim.
Or is that not immediate enough?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Carrots.

 

[Simster]

Mine could very well be YOU in a couple of weeks, Sim.
Or is that immediate enough?

We'll be FOUR floors apart you soppy GOON.

 

[KLF]

We'll be FOUR floors apart you soppy GOON.

Whoops, see edit.

Have to say Mrs KLF, then, seeing as we're both kicking around at home at the moment!

 

[pasty]

Palace fan. 'nuff said.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I had a female colleague once (in a previous job) who was of the annoying pregnant variety, and insisted on sharing every grim detail, twinge, kick, minor health condition, photo and medical report with the rest of the office. She was essentially a carbon copy of Anne, the irritating colleague of Tim in the Christmas specials of The Office, only fatter.

 

[Norman Potting]

I had a female colleague once (in a previous job) who was of the annoying pregnant variety, and insisted on sharing every grim detail, twinge, kick, minor health condition, photo and medical report with the rest of the office. She was essentially a carbon copy of Anne, the irritating colleague of Tim in the Christmas specials of The Office, only fatter.

I heard a tale from a friend once regarding a colleague who had just become a dad and wanted to show his colleagues a video of the baby. Fortunately the office had a player so they all trooped off into the training room to view the video of said infant. What he omitted to tell them in his enthusiasm to share his joy was that the video was actually of the baby being born!

 

[daveinprague]

Have an ex porn star in our office, who over the last few years has been in my flat on many an occassion, and feck all really happened between us..thats fecking annoying

 

[happypig]

Not in my current workplace which is mostly at home, but in a former job I sat opposite the most annoying wanker I've ever met. He used to tell me how to do the job despite the fact I'd been doing it longer than him and was better at it.
Evenutually the boss moved me to another desk as the day usually started :
Him : " And how's Harry this morning"
Me : "f*** off and leave me alone you ****"

 

[Arkwright]

Given that I work with my wife I'm not going to say anyhting, if not it could turn into a Fireman Dan thread.