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Craptastic Joke du Jour
- Thread starter Soul Finger
- Start date
Mental Lental
Well-known member
An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a pub. The Englishman turns to the Irishman and says......
"Is this some sort of joke?"
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi' Jammin.
"Is this some sort of joke?"
How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts?
Wi' Jammin.
? A white man walks into a pub in Oldham, totally shattered, screaming “All Muslims are shitheads".
A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take serious offense to that ! It's a bloody lie !”
The white guy asks, “Why? Are you a Muslim?”
He replies proudly, “No. I'm a shithead.”
A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take serious offense to that ! It's a bloody lie !”
The white guy asks, “Why? Are you a Muslim?”
He replies proudly, “No. I'm a shithead.”
Soul Finger
Well-known member
- May 12, 2004
- 2,265
- Thread starter
- #49
What's red and screams?
A peeled baby in a bag of salt
A peeled baby in a bag of salt
Soul Finger
Well-known member
- May 12, 2004
- 2,265
- Thread starter
- #50
A ham and cheese toastie and a side portion of chips walk into a pub and order two babychams to which the barmaid replies:
'Sorry, we don't serve food'
'Sorry, we don't serve food'
Eddie the Seagull
New member
Why did the button explode?
It pressed the panic button.
It pressed the panic button.
A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt. The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where."
The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!"
Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!"
She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!"
She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!"
The doctor looked at her and said, "Don't worry; it's not serious. You've got a broken index finger."
The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!"
Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!"
She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!"
She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!"
The doctor looked at her and said, "Don't worry; it's not serious. You've got a broken index finger."
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by the year 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
A scouse bloke is sat in a pub when a gay sits down next to him.
The gay bloke leans over and whispers in his ear
"Would you like a blow job?"
With this the scouser drags the bender outside and proceeds to give him a f***ing good hiding.
The scouser goes back inside the pub whereupon the barman asks
"What did he say?"
The scouser replies
"I dont know something about a f***ing job"
The gay bloke leans over and whispers in his ear
"Would you like a blow job?"
With this the scouser drags the bender outside and proceeds to give him a f***ing good hiding.
The scouser goes back inside the pub whereupon the barman asks
"What did he say?"
The scouser replies
"I dont know something about a f***ing job"
Soul Finger
Well-known member
- May 12, 2004
- 2,265
- Thread starter
- #58
What's black and white and looks like a horse?
A Zebra
A Zebra
