Country folk - HOW do you cope?

[LowKarate]

Glad someone posted the Stewart Lee routine about the country, as this was exactly what was in my mind when I started reading this thread.

The part about the entertainment at the Corn Exchange and Paddy McGuiness coming... with his joke had me absolutely crying with laughter when I first saw it.

Town or Country, which ones better? There's only one way to find out... POLL!!!

 

[bhaexpress]

I'm in the sticks and weather permitting I enjoy walking the dog. There's decent pubs but I have to admit in bad weather it's not that brilliant.

 

[Colossal Squid]

Glad someone posted the Stewart Lee routine about the country, as this was exactly what was in my mind when I started reading this thread.

The part about the entertainment at the Corn Exchange and Paddy McGuiness coming... with his joke had me absolutely crying with laughter when I first saw it.

Town or Country, which ones better? There's only one way to find out... POLL!!!

Good idea. ON THE CASE

Live in a TOWN/CITY or the COUNTRY?

 

[pork pie]

This week I am house/dog sitting for my folks who have buggered off on yet another holiday. Their house is in the country and it's boring as f***.

The internet is SLOW, the telly only gets FIVE channels, there are no f***ing SHOPS, I have to DRIVE to get anywhere even remotely civilised and frankly I'm not a fan.

But it got me thinking, genuinely, in this day and age how do people cope with life in the sticks? Being unable to rely on public transport and having shitty internet are the big things for me. If I want to go out and get drunk then I have a choice of THREE pubs within walking distance and that's it, everything else requires me to DRIVE. Back home in Brighton I have over 300 pubs within walking distance and any number of local buses will take me to watering holes further afield should I so desire.

But THREE measly pubs?

This must be what it's like IN PRISON

You may have three hundred pubs within walking distance, but they are in a f***ing shit-hole!

There is NO WAY I would ever want to move back to that toilet. The ONLY reason I ever go there is for football.

 

[Seagull over Canaryland]

SuperPhil for poet laureate - spot on about the benefits of life in the country.

After 25 years as Brightonians we tired of the increasingly unsavoury aspects of City life and moved to Lewes which was pretty idyllic for a while. After 20 years there the quality of life there gradually eroded to the point where we found the rather hyped quaint facade outweighed by the aggro so recently upped sticks to darkest East Anglia. Granted there are a few minor drawbacks - being 200 miles from the Amex, no Harveys or Dark Star and do bump into the occasional Canaries fan or Tractor Boy. The coastline, countryside and wildlife are fab. Air quality is fantastic, no light pollution. Local fish, meat and produce is top notch. There are some damn fine ales (Adnams Broadside, Wooforde's Nelsoin's Revenge and Elgoods Greyhound to name but a few). Internet speed is faster than Lewes (even so Norfolk has just won a bid for funding upgrade to superbroadband whatever that is?). DAB reception is good so no need to fire up the Sky box or laptop. There is virtually no crime or vandalism, no noisy neighbours, no spotty chavs racing around at 2am in the halfords special Saxo with megaphone exhaust and boom box blaring out, no lairy pissheads rolling home at 4am. Yes we get the occasional RAF Tornado or Typhoon come screaming through at 100', but the communities support them not nimbyism - and it serves to remind all there is a mean world out there. Even that plonker Norman Baker has just approved the dualling of the final section of the A11.....which will bring The Amex that bit nearer. When we do make nostalgic visits to GOSBTS we really notice just how loony the pace of life is down there.

Mrs. SoC and have never felt physically and spiritually better, long may it last.

 

[Colossal Squid]

You may have three hundred pubs within walking distance, but they are in a f***ing shit-hole!

There is NO WAY I would ever want to move back to that toilet. The ONLY reason I ever go there is for football.

Shit-hole? ? ?

Presumably you live in PARADISE CITY?

 

[glasfryn]

8years since we moved here the first Saturday we decided to go to Carmarthen 9 miles away and at 9am approx we never passed a car all the way.
bit different now though

we moved from Brighton to get away from the gridlock on SUNDAY mornings at 8 am for sometimes 2 hours at the bottom end of the Level
and every now and then we hanker after that gridlock

 

[withdeanwombat]

Howdy.

In our mall we have a brewery and grill,a beauty salon,general store/liqour store,a postal depot , a drug store,and a fish restaurant.A coupla blocks away we have another bar/grill,and a petrol station with general store/liquor facilities.

We are a two mile drive from the Cricket Stadium.

We LOVE the sticks.

 

[Questions]

As long as you can walk to your local pub, drink a few pints of something nice and then pick a curry up on the way back you could live anywhere as far as I`m concerned.

 

[pork pie]

Shit-hole? ? ?

Presumably you live in PARADISE CITY?

So a f***ing litter and tar ridden stoney beach, and a few buildings - what about all the freaks and scum who live there? No pics of them - oh and what about the freak show that is "pride"?

I look out at an area of outstanding natural beauty, my wife's horses are in our paddock, and I can see some fantastic out buildings. I can walk the streets, and even leave the door open if I forget to lock it (except when the pikeys are about) and all is safe as houses. There may not be so many pubs about. But those that are around offer great food in the main, and are actually old and not a toilet.

 

[Colossal Squid]

I actually like Pride. And I don't like horses

 

[Superphil]

Where do you stand on Alpacas?

 

[Colossal Squid]

I love all pachyderms. They'd definitely make my week in the country more bearable

 

[Paskman]

I live in the sticks - only one pub within walking distance - would not live anywhere else!

Sent from - not telling as it upsets some people!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

How do I cope. Well, it doesn't stink here. There is very little traffic, few cars, and almost no commercial vehicles. There are no gulls pecking at bin bags. There are no bin bags. The air is clean. It is quiet and dark at night. There are 3 excellent pubs within walking distance. There is never any trouble in the 3 pubs. I almost never hear a siren. There are no chuggers. There is never any sick on the pavement. There is no rubbish strewn all over the place. There are no posters stuck up all over the place. Banksy (or his copycats) have not vandalised anywhere here. There is no other graffiti either. I have a garage. I have a driveway. I can park my car anywhere I like with no fear of traffic wardens. There are no yellow lines on the road. My neighbours talk to me. There is a field with a horse in it less than 25 yards from my front door. I have a woodpecker nest in a tree in my garden. I have loads of trees in my garden. I have the internet. I have 6000kbps internet. I have satellite TV. I have never got stuck in traffic here. There is a shop which sells pretty much everything. There is a butchers next door to the shop. There is a farm shop that sells fresh produce, at sensible prices. I am working with the patio doors open with plenty of the fresh air flooding in. I just heard the horse neigh.

Oh, and I can get in my car, or hop on a bus and get to the coast in no time at all.

Apart from that, I struggle.

And it's like Midsomer down your way.

 

[Gully]

I live in a quiet corner of the city, if you go into the garden during the day you can hear birdsong and the traffic noise is distant and not intrusive, at night it is very quiet and there is little noise at all. The city centre is a fifteen minute walk away, five minutes by bike, yet there are parks and fields just a few minutes in the opposite direction. I have to admit that having grown up in a rural area, not far from where Superphil waxes lyrical, I would prefer to be living there now but as far as I am concerned my current home gives me the best of both Worlds.

 

[Grassman]

I hate town bars now - I love small village pubs. Becuase I look like a ham-fisted in-bred whose been banging next doors donkey, I fit in a treat. I feel part of the fabric of the community.

Aaaahhh! That's who you are! Now I know I've definately seen you in TW.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Where to start? Actually, I feel no need to. I've been living miles from anywhere for more than 35 years. The nearest VILLAGE is more than 2 miles away. It's delightful. Tonight's pleasure is watching a couple of barn owls terrorising the rabbits in the field out the back.

Country living could only be matched if I moved to somewhere slap bang in the middle of a bustling city.

It's the suburbs that would kill me.

 

[Uwinsc]

I stayed with friends recently who live in the highlands and all though it was lovely for a holiday I couldn't do it reguarly, it's to isolated for me (8 miles to the nearest shop) but I would love to live in one of the small villages up there-where you have facilites but also the benifit of the space and peace and quiet.

 

[Glawstergull]

Beatiful views, tranquility, fresh air, REAL BEER, and so on.

If you don't get it then well... the last thing we need is more people!