Common everyday misconceptions that drive you mad

[KneeOn]

1)Tell them they're weirdos.

2+3)see 1.

i do!

 

[Seasider78]

When you have been with your partner for a long time but are not married and do not have kids people assume there must be something wrong in your relationship. 'Oh you are not married surely you must be thinking of having children'......NO I AM NOT!!!

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

People saying to vegetarians that they must be a hippy who goes to animal rights protests.

Maybe they just don't want to eat meat?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

An almost universal misconception ...

Tennis players represent a country. They don't. Not even if they are called Tim or Andy.

 

[KneeOn]

Number 1) If you like football, you must be good at playing it: According to most people I know, just because I can name the 4 Champions League qualifiers from the EPL last season, I must be some kind of footballing god incarnate. My colleagues recently nearly choked on their Man United waterbottles during the second minute of a 5 a side kick about (it's just for fun, don't you know) when I collapsed to the floor and turned a deep shade of mauve.... "Oh wow you're awful.... but I thought you liked football?? Why can't you play better?" Now if only being able to name all FA Cup Winners from circa 1952 gave me a new pair of knees or returned me to fitness levels before I discovered £1.50 a drink night at my regular haunt, maybe we could finally abandon the NHS.

2) (This applies to you womenfolk) If I'm quiet, I'm in a bad mood. No, maybe I just have nothing to say. Not plotting how I'm going to stab you through the pulmonary arteries with a screwdriver anytime soon. Although if you keep asking me, I may reconsider.

3) If you don't understand modern art, you're an ignorant, ill-educated dinosaur. No it's just shit.

4) If you've been silly enough to drop a bit of food down the front of your clothing, you already feel a bit of a tit. So why oh why do people assume I Haven't noticed and feel the need to point it out. Not just one or two, but everyone. Ooh I'm sorry, is this morning's broccoli and salmon quiche going to sprout legs, jump off my shirt and violently attack you then? You FUCKERS.

Sorry to bounce, but today this totally happened - in reverse and i thought of this post (which means i need NSC Counciling). IF you're shit at football, you know nothing about it. A chelski fan dared to question how much i knew about football (offside law being the bone of contention - i was right but it stemmed from there as he tried to catch me out). f***ing did my nut because he's really REALLY good, and thought that because i was shit and supported the Albion, i knew nothing of football!

 

[poidy]

I get slightly irritated by some people's bewilderment when they ask me what i do in the RAF and they then discover im not a pilot. Theres 40,000 people currently serving in the Air Force and less than 5% of these are pilots.

A very minor misconception however quite annoying all the same

 

[KneeOn]

I get slightly irritated by some people's bewilderment when they ask me what i do in the RAF and they then discover im not a pilot. Theres 40,000 people currently serving in the Air Force and less than 5% of these are pilots.

A very minor misconception however quite annoying all the same

is it really as low as less than 5%? I never knew that, i knew it was a real minority, but not to that extent! Fair play.

 

[astevens76]

"You do Maths at Uni, whats 429,756 X 367,458" and things of the like

 

[pasty]

I get slightly irritated by some people's bewilderment when they ask me what i do in the RAF and they then discover im not a pilot. Theres 40,000 people currently serving in the Air Force and less than 5% of these are pilots.

A very minor misconception however quite annoying all the same

Being ex RAF Catering, I know exactly what you mean. I can almost read the disappointment in the persons face when I tell them that I was in Catering.

Closest I got to a "famous" pilot was running the officers mess bar when a certain Pilot (maybe Flying) Officer R. Underwood was doing his flying training at Cranwell

 

[KneeOn]

"You do Maths at Uni, whats 429,756 X 367,458" and things of the like

You should just say a HUGE number that sounds about right, and watch in amazement.

 

[poidy]

is it really as low as less than 5%? I never knew that, i knew it was a real minority, but not to that extent! Fair play.

Yeah id say so mate. If its not 5% then its definetely no higher than 10%

Either way theres a shit load more people on the ground

 

[poidy]

Being ex RAF Catering, I know exactly what you mean. I can almost read the disappointment in the persons face when I tell them that I was in Catering.

Yeah know that feeling. Thats why i tell all civilians i meet now that im a fighter pilot. Saves on embarrassment on both parts.

 

[KneeOn]

Yeah id say so mate. If its not 5% then its definetely no higher than 10%

Either way theres a shit load more people on the ground

Obviously more on the ground, if there were more in the sky, it'd defeat common sense. Fair play to you. What do you do if you dont' mind me asking?

 

[cjd]

Having completed a couple of Worthing marathon runs a long time ago, the usual response was....." how long is the Worthing marathon compared to the London one..? "

 

[poidy]

Obviously more on the ground, if there were more in the sky, it'd defeat common sense. Fair play to you. What do you do if you dont' mind me asking?

Logistics, basically responsible for sending everything into Theatre which is obviously Afghan right now. If your deployed the jobs just the same only doing it in the desert instead.

 

[ryeseagull]

Similar vein: I am an historian. People assume I enjoy history as a hobby and want to hear about the WWII books they've been reading, or their half-baked, ill-informed opinions on some subject or another.

 

[clarkey]

Similar vein: I am an historian. People assume I enjoy history as a hobby and want to hear about the WWII books they've been reading, or their half-baked, ill-informed opinions on some subject or another.

I study history at uni, people therefore think I should know something that has happened on every single day since the earth began.

Out of interest, what is your area of research/study?

 

[ryeseagull]

Early America. This of itself is a problem because I have kept my English accent. I am always asked why I study early American history, because there is so much more English history.

The answer is the two cannot be separated in the 18th century.

 

[ryeseagull]

As an Englishman abroad, I am also surprised how many people are aghast that I don't drink tea.

 

[Robbie G]

Didn't drive me mad but in New Zealand I was asked if the beer I was going to have would be OK, because 'You like it warm over there'.

Obviously not aware of all the lagers that dominate pubs nowadays!