Charlie Oatway FACTS

[Easy 10]

Following Danny Seagulls revelation that "Charlie Oatway once ate a hundred sleeping tablets - and blinked", I think its time we had a thread full of FACTS about Charlie Oatway. I'll start, because its my thread.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is in fact based on a true story. Charlie Oatway once ate a live turtle, and when he crapped it out, it was six feet tall and knew karate.

 

[pishhead]

Charlie Oatways tears cure cancer, too bad he's never cried.

 

[Easy 10]

When Charlie Oatway gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

 

[Gritt23]

"Charlie" is not his real name.

 

[Tooting Gull]

Vinnie Jones was once reduced to a blubbing shell of a man issuing grovelling apologies on his knees after Charlie threatened to set his Shepherds Bush mates on him.

 

[Easy 10]

Charlie Oatway does not sleep. He waits.

When Charlie Oatway answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

 

[Curious Orange]

Charlie Oatway uses Chuck Norris as a human footstall.

 

[User removed 4]

Charlie Oatway doesnt do pressups , he pushes the earth down.

 

[User removed 4]

Charlie Oatway invented Giraffes when he gave a horse an uppercut.

 

[Easy 10]

The only reason Charlie Oatway never won a Player of the Season award is because nobody in their right mind would willingly give Charlie Oatway a blunt metal object. That's just suicide.

 

[ali jenkins]

Charlie Oatway invented Giraffes when he gave a horse an uppercut.

That is quite funny

 

[brighton_girl87]

Charlie Oatway does not sleep. He waits.

When Charlie Oatway answers the phone, he just says "Go". This is not permission for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.

That is brilliant.

 

[Munkfish]

If you have £5 and Charlie Oatway has £5, Charlie Oatway has more money than you.

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

If you spell Charlie Oatway in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

 

[Titanic]

Charlie reads NSC... so be careful what you say!

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Charlie Oatway's move to Real Madrid fell through when it came to light that he had coordinated an underground network of resistance fighters to slay Franco.

 

[The Large One]

There's no such thing as global warming. Charlie Oatway was chilly, so he turned the sun up.

 

[Easy 10]

If you misspell "Charlie Oatway" on Google, it won't suggest a correction, it just says you have 10 seconds to live.

 

[Father Jack]

They once made a Charlie Oatway toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

Charlie Oatway does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Charlie Oatway goes killing.

 

[The Large One]

Charlie Oatway doesn't really exist.

He's just invented by parents to threaten their children with when they're naughty.