Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
SAKE
Albion fans were up in arms yesterday when news emerged of yet another inevitable delay in the construction of the new stadium at Falmer.
Permission for the stadium was finally granted by the Government in June 2007, and work was expected to commence towards the end of 2008. The Argus had confirmed on Monday that timescales had already slipped back towards December. However, it was revealed last night that construction workers would not actually begin work until 10.30am on the first day, instead of the planned 8.00am start which was initially cited by the club.
Albion Project Manager Martin Perry was disappointed but still optimistic that the stadium would open on schedule in time for the start of the 2010-11 season. "Of course it's frustrating for everyone involved, but unfortunately it's a fact of life that on major construction projects there are often unforeseen circumstances that can cause delays" he said. "We are however still very confident that the stadium will be completed on time, and the club will kick-off there in August 2010 as planned".
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The reasons for the additional two-hundred-and-ten minute delay became apparent when details of a tender document were revealed, showing that workmen were not required to arrive on site until around 10.00am on the first day, and not actually expected start work until up to a full thirty minutes later. Martin Perry explained: "Many of the construction workers will be travelling to Falmer for the first time, and a large proportion of them are from outside Sussex"
"There needs to be some leeway on the first day to allow them to find the site, survey it, have a cup of tea, scratch their arses, and then make that noise when they suck the air through their teeth, shaking their heads in that 'ooh, this is gonna cost you' way. It's all perfectly normal practice within the building industry".
The assurances from the club did little to allay the fears of supporters though. Arthur Fallopian-Twattflap of Bevendean said: "I told you. I TOLD you this would happen. You just watch. They'll start having a flick through The Sun, then 10.30 will soon stretch to lunchtime. Then they'll all be off into town for a fry-up and a couple of Beaters (Stella), and before you know it it's three in the afternoon and they've got f***-all done. I TOLD you didn't I ? DIDN'T I ?".
Another fan, Deb Scrotál of Upper Dicker, pulled our reporter to one side and hissed darkly: "This is all part of Dick Knights plan. I have known The Truth all along. You all still think a stadium is going to be built ? You couldn't be wronger, I mean wrong. No, wrongful. Or is it wronged ? Anyway, the whole stadium thing is just a big front. Dick Knight is actually having a vast underground missile silo built at Falmer. Like in Goldeneye, except much bigger."
"He's going to have several SS18 Skybolt ballistic missiles pointed at various key strategic targets within Sussex, such as the new Primark in Western Road, and the Friday Ad depot just off the A23. Then he's going to hold Mid Sussex District Council to ransom, until they accede to his demands. My source tells me Knight wants his Wheelie Bins emptied weekly instead of fortnightly, and he wants the mini-roundabout at the bottom of Carden Avenue removed because he thinks it's pointless. I can't reveal my source though, so don't ask".
Will the stadium be completed on time ? Leave your comments below.
Albion fans were up in arms yesterday when news emerged of yet another inevitable delay in the construction of the new stadium at Falmer.
Permission for the stadium was finally granted by the Government in June 2007, and work was expected to commence towards the end of 2008. The Argus had confirmed on Monday that timescales had already slipped back towards December. However, it was revealed last night that construction workers would not actually begin work until 10.30am on the first day, instead of the planned 8.00am start which was initially cited by the club.
Albion Project Manager Martin Perry was disappointed but still optimistic that the stadium would open on schedule in time for the start of the 2010-11 season. "Of course it's frustrating for everyone involved, but unfortunately it's a fact of life that on major construction projects there are often unforeseen circumstances that can cause delays" he said. "We are however still very confident that the stadium will be completed on time, and the club will kick-off there in August 2010 as planned".
advertisement
The reasons for the additional two-hundred-and-ten minute delay became apparent when details of a tender document were revealed, showing that workmen were not required to arrive on site until around 10.00am on the first day, and not actually expected start work until up to a full thirty minutes later. Martin Perry explained: "Many of the construction workers will be travelling to Falmer for the first time, and a large proportion of them are from outside Sussex"
"There needs to be some leeway on the first day to allow them to find the site, survey it, have a cup of tea, scratch their arses, and then make that noise when they suck the air through their teeth, shaking their heads in that 'ooh, this is gonna cost you' way. It's all perfectly normal practice within the building industry".
The assurances from the club did little to allay the fears of supporters though. Arthur Fallopian-Twattflap of Bevendean said: "I told you. I TOLD you this would happen. You just watch. They'll start having a flick through The Sun, then 10.30 will soon stretch to lunchtime. Then they'll all be off into town for a fry-up and a couple of Beaters (Stella), and before you know it it's three in the afternoon and they've got f***-all done. I TOLD you didn't I ? DIDN'T I ?".
Another fan, Deb Scrotál of Upper Dicker, pulled our reporter to one side and hissed darkly: "This is all part of Dick Knights plan. I have known The Truth all along. You all still think a stadium is going to be built ? You couldn't be wronger, I mean wrong. No, wrongful. Or is it wronged ? Anyway, the whole stadium thing is just a big front. Dick Knight is actually having a vast underground missile silo built at Falmer. Like in Goldeneye, except much bigger."
"He's going to have several SS18 Skybolt ballistic missiles pointed at various key strategic targets within Sussex, such as the new Primark in Western Road, and the Friday Ad depot just off the A23. Then he's going to hold Mid Sussex District Council to ransom, until they accede to his demands. My source tells me Knight wants his Wheelie Bins emptied weekly instead of fortnightly, and he wants the mini-roundabout at the bottom of Carden Avenue removed because he thinks it's pointless. I can't reveal my source though, so don't ask".
Will the stadium be completed on time ? Leave your comments below.
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