Am I a firework killjoy...

[Guy Fawkes]

Please can you give me examples of professional events that you want to limit fireworks to?

 

[Meade's Ball]

I think all children should be struck by soft-centred eggs at a term's end, and also the evening of Hallowe'en by other young males in face-morphing masks with egg-throwing popeye arms. CLOP and SPLAT the ova go, the aborted middles giggling to their doom. On Bonfire Night i like to see young girl's hands ablaze having tampered with them darned sparklers that have been smouldering on the ground the 3 minutes or less. During each week, a brave young thing burning alive on his/her unspinning frisbee attached to the roof of a pylon that everyone knows they ought to touch and climb as they look so bloody friendly and runged.

I am no fan of sudden noise as my heart is frail and hearing an unknown percentage one-sided, so don't like the streets a-hustle with people seeking the same explosions each year, but i am not in a position to ban people enjoying themselves just because i am a miserablist and wish they didn't interupt a fascinating episode of Casualty.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/liverpool-news/local-news/2007/11/03/bin-security-100252-20054164/
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/live...ief-yobs-in-attack-on-family-100252-20043943/
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/live.../23/firework-attack-on-house-100252-19994721/
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/live...hop-firework-terror-for-girl-100252-20035649/
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/live...hop-firework-terror-for-girl-100252-20035649/
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/loca...firework_is_thrown_into_school_playground.php
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/loca...osal_experts_called_after_fireworks_scare.php
http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/localnews/display.var.1800882.0.firework_attacks_on_bins.php

...and it isn't even November 5th until tomorrow.

 

[See-Goals]

Why is your cat with idiots?

He's young and impressionable.

(My English does get better)