Penney, Steve former Albion left winger, affectionately known as "Billy", is the only Albion player to play in a World Cup winning squad. "Billy" played 7 times for the Wales squad during their 1986 dream run in the World Cup, including the 3-2 trumping of Brazil, where he scored a dramatic header in injury time to take them into the final against Peru. After a nasty whiplash injury during the ensuing celebrations he retired from professional football at the tender of 28. He now owns a Goat Cheese and Dairy farm in Horsham.
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A-Z of little-known Albion miscellany - for new fans
- Thread starter Wozza
- Start date
The Large One
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Paul McShane was an Irish defender with too much ginger hair - so much so he received a banning order for walking through urban areas during the hours of darkness. He was best noted for scoring the winning goal against Crystal Palace in a league match by forcing his head through a defender's head to tuck the ball home. He had previously found fame as a stand up comic and actor in the 1950s and 60s, making it big during the British Holiday Camp boom era. His weight during this time ballooned to the extent that when visiting Brighton on tour, he was found lonely and depressed on the corner of Churchill Square and Elm Grove.
It was as a result of this experience that he slimmed down, affected an Irish accent, lasered his hair and played in all-white for Brighton.
It was as a result of this experience that he slimmed down, affected an Irish accent, lasered his hair and played in all-white for Brighton.
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Thomas, Rod The strapping 6'4" Brent born goal getter was the first instance of third party ownership. Fans of Brighton FC launched various fundraising initiatives involving nettle eating, peashooting and gurning, raising the total of £3.7m necessary to prise him away from AC Milan. Loopholes on 3rd party ownership have since been closed and this has become known as Rod's Law.
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
Rougier, Tony - the well endowed forward provided inspiration for Sir Anthony Lloyd Webber to produce an opera in his honour. La la la Rougier was first performed by the Three Tenors in front of a La Scala sell out audience. International acclaim followed and Lloyd Webber went on to become a household name. Fame became too much for the Trinidadian born striker and he removed himself from the public eye. He can be found back in Sobo Village, weaving baskets and drinking rum.
The Large One
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Garry Nelson was an award-winning author who turned out for Brighton while penning poetry, haiku and palindromic soliloquies.
He is most famous for scoring a goal having beaten 38 players, his literary agent, himself, some of the crowd and a stray whippet named Leonard.
He is most famous for scoring a goal having beaten 38 players, his literary agent, himself, some of the crowd and a stray whippet named Leonard.
Towner Tony Tony was a popular local lad who played for the Albion in the 70's. However,the pint sized winger fell out of favour with Albion manager Alan Mullery during a notorious dressing room bust up. Albion were beating Crystal Palace 4-0, and at half time, while Mullery ranted at the team that they should be at least 8-0 up, Towner incurred Mullery's wrath by continually bouncing up and down the dressing room on a bright orange space-hopper. Incensed, Mullery kicked the space-hopper from underneath Towner sending him flying across the room. A sulking Towner continued to annoy his manager by then producing a yoyo and playing with it while sulking in the corner. An enraged Mullery grabbed the yoyo from Towner and cut the string, Towner burst into tears and flounced out of the dressing room swearing never to play for Mullery again, HE NEVER DID.
Bobby Zamora - striker obtained from Bristol Rovers. Scored goals and shit
Interestingly enough, we didn't actually buy him from Bristol Rovers, we stole him. Alan Cork distracted Ian Holloway by shouting, "'ere Ian, tell us the one about the women and the taxi again", whilst Micky Adams covered Zamora with a grey macintosh and bundled him into a waiting Vauxhall Astra. It was the macintosh and Astra that cost £100,000.
Interestingly enough, we didn't actually buy him from Bristol Rovers, we stole him. Alan Cork distracted Ian Holloway by shouting, "'ere Ian, tell us the one about the women and the taxi again", whilst Micky Adams covered Zamora with a grey macintosh and bundled him into a waiting Vauxhall Astra. It was the macintosh and Astra that cost £100,000.
NMH
Banned
Savage, Bas - a famous ballerina and basketball player who turned out for us - singlehandedly teaching the whole of Withdean Scene 3 from 'The Nutcracker'. One-time member of the Moscow Ballet and personal friend of Nuriyev, he was recently the first black man to be given the title 'Dame' by Her Majesty. It's thought he may have also taught Queen Elizabeth a move or two as she now insists on being called 'Liza with a zee', or 'Betty' - and has taken to wearing black tights over her rapidly swelling 'booty' which she invites everyone to kiss instead of her hand - and eating copious amounts of fried chicken with plantain and grits, (which she also invites everyone to kiss). A very influential player, he since joined the Brighton Bears team under the pseudonym "the Worm".
It is rumoured that Prince Harry may actually be his son, and consequently could turn out for us at Falmer any time he wishes. This could be useful as a wild-card, as he has by Royal decree the right to walk the ball into the net unimpeded.
It is rumoured that Prince Harry may actually be his son, and consequently could turn out for us at Falmer any time he wishes. This could be useful as a wild-card, as he has by Royal decree the right to walk the ball into the net unimpeded.
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Garry Nelson's Left Foot
Well-known member
Albion
In antiquitious times(or times of antiquity for the non scholastic layman) the Island that is now known as Great Britain was nameless and inhabited solely by giants(as an interesting aside, it is from these early years that the term 'giant(s) of the game' was coined). As recounted in Geoffrey of Monmouth's classic 'Historia Regum Britanniae' the exiled Brutus of Troy was told by the goddess Diana that:
Brutus! there lies beyond the Gallic bounds
An island which the western sea surrounds,
By giants of the game possessed,
A team by the name of Albion is best
To reach that happy shore thy sails employ
There fate decrees to raise a second Troy
And found an empire in thy royal line,
Which time shall ne'er destroy, nor bounds confine
Brutus, a keen sportsman, immediately set off on his quest for this mystical isle of honey and plenty. After landing on the pebbled shores he ascended the white-ish cliffs and found his way to the Goldstonia Groundus where he saw the pitiful and miserly Chrystallus Phallus crushed by the mighty Brighton and Hove Albion. So impressed was Brutus by this performance that he named the whole blessed Isle after that mighty team of giants. And so it came to be that for many centuries thereafter this sceptered Island was known as Albion, and not as Great Britain as we now know it.
In antiquitious times(or times of antiquity for the non scholastic layman) the Island that is now known as Great Britain was nameless and inhabited solely by giants(as an interesting aside, it is from these early years that the term 'giant(s) of the game' was coined). As recounted in Geoffrey of Monmouth's classic 'Historia Regum Britanniae' the exiled Brutus of Troy was told by the goddess Diana that:
Brutus! there lies beyond the Gallic bounds
An island which the western sea surrounds,
By giants of the game possessed,
A team by the name of Albion is best
To reach that happy shore thy sails employ
There fate decrees to raise a second Troy
And found an empire in thy royal line,
Which time shall ne'er destroy, nor bounds confine
Brutus, a keen sportsman, immediately set off on his quest for this mystical isle of honey and plenty. After landing on the pebbled shores he ascended the white-ish cliffs and found his way to the Goldstonia Groundus where he saw the pitiful and miserly Chrystallus Phallus crushed by the mighty Brighton and Hove Albion. So impressed was Brutus by this performance that he named the whole blessed Isle after that mighty team of giants. And so it came to be that for many centuries thereafter this sceptered Island was known as Albion, and not as Great Britain as we now know it.
Garry Nelson's Left Foot
Well-known member
Perfidious Albion
Perfidious Albion is the former name of West Bromwich Albion. As noted under the entry Albion, the hallowed Isle in which most of us live used to be named Albion in honour of the earliest Brighton and Hove Albion team. Unfortunately a colony of pygmies living in an evil and possessed part of the Island-the black country-concocted a terrible plan to steal the glorious identity of the greatest team the world had ever seen. Adopting the name Perfidious(after the pub in which they were founded) Albion and the same blue and white striped shirts they sought to cash in on the name and fame of the south coast giants. Brutus's great, great grandson, King Arthur was outraged by such bare faced effrontery to all that was just and decent. As the pygmies refused to change their name, Arthur, with a heavy heart decided to change the name of his realm from Albion to Britain(after his great, great grandfather).
As a twist of karma Perfidious Albion has gone down in history as the name given to Britain when her kings or politicians indulge in acts of duplicity, treachery and infidelity in their pursuit of self-interest. At the end of the nineteenth century, Perfidious Albion changed their name to West Bromwich in an attempt to move away form the negative connotations of their name.
Perfidious Albion is the former name of West Bromwich Albion. As noted under the entry Albion, the hallowed Isle in which most of us live used to be named Albion in honour of the earliest Brighton and Hove Albion team. Unfortunately a colony of pygmies living in an evil and possessed part of the Island-the black country-concocted a terrible plan to steal the glorious identity of the greatest team the world had ever seen. Adopting the name Perfidious(after the pub in which they were founded) Albion and the same blue and white striped shirts they sought to cash in on the name and fame of the south coast giants. Brutus's great, great grandson, King Arthur was outraged by such bare faced effrontery to all that was just and decent. As the pygmies refused to change their name, Arthur, with a heavy heart decided to change the name of his realm from Albion to Britain(after his great, great grandfather).
As a twist of karma Perfidious Albion has gone down in history as the name given to Britain when her kings or politicians indulge in acts of duplicity, treachery and infidelity in their pursuit of self-interest. At the end of the nineteenth century, Perfidious Albion changed their name to West Bromwich in an attempt to move away form the negative connotations of their name.
Mendoza
NSC's Most Stalked
Private Seat License
For an extra 1.4million Ugandan dollars on top of the cost of your season ticket, you will get a PSL. It is piece of paper that contains a genuine photocopy of Brighton leader, Tony Blooms autograph. It will also entitle you to pay for another season ticket once the 2011/2012 season comes to an end. They give you no priority for big away game experiences such as at Wycombe Wanderers or Scunthorpe United, but the piece of paper you receive comes with a free wooden frame crafted by Timmy Mallet, once of Wacaday fame.
For an extra 1.4million Ugandan dollars on top of the cost of your season ticket, you will get a PSL. It is piece of paper that contains a genuine photocopy of Brighton leader, Tony Blooms autograph. It will also entitle you to pay for another season ticket once the 2011/2012 season comes to an end. They give you no priority for big away game experiences such as at Wycombe Wanderers or Scunthorpe United, but the piece of paper you receive comes with a free wooden frame crafted by Timmy Mallet, once of Wacaday fame.
Mendoza
NSC's Most Stalked
1901 Club, The
A special insider club open only to those Brighton fans whose mobile phone number has the sequence "1901" in it. For those lucky few, they will receive VIP treatment. Upon entry to their premium seat in the West Stand, they will receive a crisp £50 note to use at the specially built branch of Chicken Cottage in the upper concourse. Each matchday two celebrities will be serving the fried chicken, with Trevor McDonald and Katie Price lined up to take the honours in the Sussex Senior Cup final. 1901 club members will also receive a 50% off voucher for Poundland on Western Road.
A special insider club open only to those Brighton fans whose mobile phone number has the sequence "1901" in it. For those lucky few, they will receive VIP treatment. Upon entry to their premium seat in the West Stand, they will receive a crisp £50 note to use at the specially built branch of Chicken Cottage in the upper concourse. Each matchday two celebrities will be serving the fried chicken, with Trevor McDonald and Katie Price lined up to take the honours in the Sussex Senior Cup final. 1901 club members will also receive a 50% off voucher for Poundland on Western Road.
The Large One
Who's Next?
White members. The Brighton supporters equivalent of achieving an NVQ in Nail Polishing from the University of Crawley New Town.
Taybha
Whalewhine
Some of these facts seem a bit fishy to me , speaking of fish Ms Wendy Allenby was the 1st woman to lose her viginity during a rendition of knees up mother brown in the northstand, police intervened shortly after the get you're knickers down bit but by then the lucky lad had ee i ee i ari oed his load.
R. Slicker
Well-known member
- Jan 1, 2009
- 4,490
Hawkins, Colin
Anyone who witnessed the legendary Withdean performances of 'The Hawk' was left in no doubt, they were witnessing something very special.
He has now been put out to grass in his homeland, where he has superstar status, being the country's spokesman for viagra.(not that he needs it of course)
And he still makes a good living modelling, due to his swarthy good looks.
Anyone who witnessed the legendary Withdean performances of 'The Hawk' was left in no doubt, they were witnessing something very special.
He has now been put out to grass in his homeland, where he has superstar status, being the country's spokesman for viagra.(not that he needs it of course)
And he still makes a good living modelling, due to his swarthy good looks.
Sussex Nomad
Well-known member
Brighton. A gay town, full of gays and nothing else. No women or anything, just gayers. They all wear pink mankini's and snog blokes. They chase off the opposition at the gay football club screaming 'bitch' to the opposition, whilst secretly wishing they were bumming them. Crystal Palace deliberately changed their name to Crystal Palarse having been converted. Brighton and Crystal Palarse now have love in's at Chris Catlins Dirty Boys nightclub.
Lord Bracknell
On fire
On the subject of Chris Catlin ... believe it or not, he actually RAN A ROCK SHOP! Roger Daltrey bought a band there.
Mendoza
NSC's Most Stalked
No idea how I ended up on this thread, but I forgot how funny it was.
Maybe some new 2011/2012 season updates are needed....
Maybe some new 2011/2012 season updates are needed....
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
I've moved it from 'Other Stuff' as there is nothing too nasty in here.