A heart warming tale from last night

[Lady Whistledown]

I once made two pissed students walk the entire distance from their Moulsecoomb accommodation back to the seafront, replacing all the bins, rubbish and traffic cones they'd found it so hilarious to chuck into gardens, up trees and on to people's cars. Then they got to walk all the way home again. Wasn't so funny THEN, was it chaps

 

[Simster]

I once made two pissed students walk the entire distance from their Moulsecoomb accommodation back to the seafront, replacing all the bins, rubbish and traffic cones they'd found it so hilarious to chuck into gardens, up trees and on to people's cars. Then they got to walk all the way home again. Wasn't so funny THEN, was it chaps

It's always so much funnier when "whacky stewdent" types are the recipients of this sort of justice.

 

[The Grockle]

Quite right. Even the TRAFFIC in Croydon is better than Reigate at the moment.

Incidentally croydon, that mug with the perma-ticketed car is a true story - he's always parked where Sims used to be opposite the Panther. I'd slash his tyres but Edna would only come along and make me fix his wheel.

Gas Replacement works are causing mayhem at the moment, I’m also told that Reigations are not happy about the closure of Lingfield lane.

With regard to the ticketed card, slashing his tyres seems a little harsh, can I suggest forming a mob of Doods road people and patrons of the Panther and carry his car to somewhere less desirable like Wilmotts close? If Alan Minter still lives there (and he’s not too pissed) I’m sure he’ll help.

 

[Tooting Gull]

I once made two pissed students walk the entire distance from their Moulsecoomb accommodation back to the seafront, replacing all the bins, rubbish and traffic cones they'd found it so hilarious to chuck into gardens, up trees and on to people's cars. Then they got to walk all the way home again. Wasn't so funny THEN, was it chaps

They're probably accountants now.

 

[Simster]

They're probably accountants now.

This reminds me of a former colleague when she reliably formed me of a story while at Cambridge University where someone in her college got pissed, ended up in A&E and WANKED on a nurse.

He got away with it, and is apparently now a barrister.


You couldn't make it up.

 

[Norman Potting]

I await the "Mindless Twattery (Recompense and Retribution) Act" 2011

 

[Tooting Gull]

This reminds me of a former colleague when she reliably formed me of a story while at Cambridge University where someone in her college got pissed, ended up in A&E and WANKED on a nurse.

He got away with it, and is apparently now a barrister.


You couldn't make it up.

A good future barrister would have found some loophole to explain that behaviour. "Turn over? Sorry, I thought you said sperm donor."

 

[Simster]

A good future barrister would have found some loophole to explain that behaviour. "Turn over? Sorry, I thought you said sperm donor."

With the nurse having to pay for any dry cleaning expenses incurred.

 

[hart's shirt]

He was probably feeling bad that she was earning so little money and wanted to splash out on her.

 

[Superphil]

bet he gets about 500k compo now for having his human rights violated.
welcome to Dave and Nick's Britain!

Don't you mean Tony and fat scottish ***** Britain

 

[Danny-Boy]

bet he gets about 500k compo now for having his human rights violated.
welcome to Dave and Nick's Britain!

Ermm...it was New Labour who really put all the Compo society in place. The Big Society tells you to manage it yourself. So if the scrote does something, chin 'im. I'll be a character witness.

 

[sten_super]

Well it could be anything really, so long as it's considered reasonable recompense in the circumstances? They do have to agree to it, but most people will, if it means they get to avoid being nicked and spending time in a cell while it's sorted out. Doesn't apply to habitual criminals or serious offences of course, I'm talking about the sort of low level but immensely annoying crimes that cause the rest of us great inconvenience or expense, typically because of someone else's momentary idiocy.

A few years back me and a few friends got beaten up (not severely) by a group of pissed up lads at 3am in the morning. If that happened now would the policeman hold him back while I took a few free swings?

 

[Danny-Boy]

This reminds me of a former colleague when she reliably formed me of a story while at Cambridge University where someone in her college got pissed, ended up in A&E and WANKED on a nurse.

He got away with it, and is apparently now a barrister.

You couldn't make it up.

Probably a male nurse, knowing those Cambridge types...and barristers.

 

[Seasidesage]

I once made two pissed students walk the entire distance from their Moulsecoomb accommodation back to the seafront, replacing all the bins, rubbish and traffic cones they'd found it so hilarious to chuck into gardens, up trees and on to people's cars. Then they got to walk all the way home again. Wasn't so funny THEN, was it chaps

Now that is PROPER Policing

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I once had a bike stolen from outside my house when I was a young lad. I found out who did it on the grapevine but there was little I could do about it. Annoyingly the twat simply took it to get home and dumped it in the Ouse.

About two years later I read an article in The Argus about a young man who had his hand severed in a work related accident at Toggle Mouldings. Was using a high power saw without popping the guard down apparently. It was the same guy who stole my bike. Now that's what I call justice.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

I once made two pissed students walk the entire distance from their Moulsecoomb accommodation back to the seafront, replacing all the bins, rubbish and traffic cones they'd found it so hilarious to chuck into gardens, up trees and on to people's cars. Then they got to walk all the way home again. Wasn't so funny THEN, was it chaps

Out of interest, to enact this sort of punishment, do they have to admit guilt ? So there's no chance of comebacks when they think about it later and claim to have been innocent.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

With the nurse having to pay for any dry cleaning expenses incurred.

Should'ave swollowed .....

 

[Pavilionaire]

A good future barrister would have found some loophole to explain that behaviour. "Turn over? Sorry, I thought you said sperm donor."

Or "Blanket bath? I thought you said wank it hard!"

 

[smudge]

Few years ago when living in the Dials area, I was woken up by breaking glass, the sound of which was getting closer. I got up, grabbed my trusty Louisville Slugger & went to investigate. There, right outside my flat was this twat, trying to karate kick my neighbours car windows in. I could see all the way down Hamilton Road his trail of destruction.
I asked him what on earth he was doing, (or words to that effect), to which he replied when squaring up to me, "You don't want what I've got". (Yes, there are lots of excellent comebacks to that line). I just replied, "Well you don't want what I've got either", produced my trusty slugger & jabbed him right on the nose, he went over lack a sack of shit.
My neighbour had heard all the commotion & shouted down that he had called the police; who to be fair, arrived shortly after.
I gave a statement, they asked me how he damaged his nose, (claret everywhere). I said he must have fallen badly when destroying the car windows.
Don't know what happened to him, but the street all got crime numbers for the insurance.....& I felt happy that the tosser got a slap.

 

[Norman Baker suck my lozenge]

Few years ago when living in the Dials area, I was woken up by breaking glass, the sound of which was getting closer. I got up, grabbed my trusty Louisville Slugger & went to investigate. There, right outside my flat was this twat, trying to karate kick my neighbours car windows in. I could see all the way down Hamilton Road his trail of destruction.
I asked him what on earth he was doing, (or words to that effect), to which he replied when squaring up to me, "You don't want what I've got". (Yes, there are lots of excellent comebacks to that line). I just replied, "Well you don't want what I've got either", produced my trusty slugger & jabbed him right on the nose, he went over lack a sack of shit.
My neighbour had heard all the commotion & shouted down that he had called the police; who to be fair, arrived shortly after.
I gave a statement, they asked me how he damaged his nose, (claret everywhere). I said he must have fallen badly when destroying the car windows.
Don't know what happened to him, but the street all got crime numbers for the insurance.....& I felt happy that the tosser got a slap.

remember the incident with the smellys outside the Fortune of War?