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You need to get more creative. Ask yourself: what would Hollywood do with this? In the movie version, the scammed would scam the scammer. There’d be a major retributive twist, the seeds of which had been sowed a long time back. For example: get an obscure member of the family, someone the...

“And one must err jolly well say that err these these these spaffing nincompoop popinjays are balderdashingly Great Britain great again splendiferous backbone of Britain err piffle paffle Froggy Frenchies fiffle faffle back to work, back to Britain, back to black, err um err yes um ‘petronas et...

I’ve tried to give it a fair go, as they get played a LOT on BBC 6 Music, but I just can’t get on with them. It’s all a bit wilfully ‘aren’t we clever for being so discordant and artistic’ for me. Though I believe the second album is a bit more accessible, apparently. Remind me of another...

Everton. If Burnley stay up, high chance they’ll just be back in the relegation mixer again next year. Good for us. If Everton stay up, more than likely they won’t have another ‘outlier’ season like this one, and will be back to challenging in the 8th-14th tier we’re now part of. Not good...

With 9 posts in ten years, you're clearly someone with their finger on the pulse of all things BHAFC, so I'm equally baffled as to why you don't have a starring role. I'd take this up with Equity asap if I was you.

Couldn’t agree more.

Maybe he misheard the instruction. They’re meant to all go BOOM, not BALLOON.

Loving the leg spreading, the rap hands, the general “hold me back hold me back” strut in one so young.

Especially as this is the final day!

Fulham coming up effectively means only two relegation spots to avoid next season, so there’s that too.

As is their style, new Sault album released today with no advance warning.

Don’t think we need that much, a typical war only costs around a billion dollars a day. Need to leave these oligarchs with a few hundred billion each, surely - the upkeep can be pricey to run 10 personal super yachts, 45 penthouse apartments around the world etc etc.

It’s either: “Can I say something to the fans?“ Or: “Can I ask something of the fans?” Not: “Can I ask something to the fans?”

I like them. And fair play to those prepared to run the risk. In my younger days I was a smoke-bomb-luzzer on a couple of occasions (last game at the Goldstone, then away at Hereford), and I’m glad I did.

Storer for me too. Ormerod perhaps didn’t quite play enough to be POS, Nicky Rust was in goal a lot of that season I think.

Good call. Duntottar Castle is worth a visit.

Surprised no-one’s created eBaywatch yet. But maybe you’d just get double-whammy sued by eBay AND by David Hasselhoff, so probably not worth the grief.

Never forgiven the Hand of God goal personally. It’s Pele for me, though Messi is up there too.