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[Misc] "You're only lazy.."
- Thread starter Swansman
- Start date
cloud
Well-known member
It depends how happy you are in your own company, going at your own pace. As you've seen, friends are likely to get fed up and drift away.
Being by yourself is also a good time to work out what you want from life and who you want to be. It might be that you would be suited to meeting a busy person. Busy people are great because they take you on a journey and help you get where you want to be. Of course, you have to give something in return, but that could be reliability, companionship and moral support, and accepting a few jobs around the house which are more reflective, such as doing the washing up.
Change at Barnham
Well-known member
Laziness is a judgement made by others.
Some people would say spending hours reading is lazy, but if people didn't read and learn we wouldn't get very far.
Some people would say spending hours reading is lazy, but if people didn't read and learn we wouldn't get very far.
- Apr 19, 2018
- 2,134
There's so much in what you write, but sounds more like lack of purpose (which is often what is interpreted as laziness). Purpose isn't something you find but something you create - identifying what it is that inspires you, motivates you, makes you want to do something and building on that. From what you put on here you're clearly articulate, funny, bright and personable, all in a language that isn't even your native one. What is it that makes you want to share those things with us? I mean that as a serious question, beyond cult-of-Potter. Understanding what motivates you to engage on here might be a first step to doing more.
Without disrespecting your perception of yourself that comes across in your post I don't think you're lazy, it's just where your energy and interests and passions are directed isn't anywhere conventionally considered productive and also may not be doing you any favours either. That's very different from being lazy. It also sounds like you've accepted other people's definitions of yourself as lazy - ask yourself what accepting that definition is protecting you from. That's another step to moving past it because it enables you to rewrite the story and give yourself agency over the term. "Accepting being called lazy protects me from potentially failing to meet anyone's expectations, but it's not laziness, it's lack of confidence..." (or whatever) then you can start to work more closely with the cause.
In my job I struggle with purpose and huge imposter syndrome on a regular basis, and the way I kick on past both is to stop looking at myself and my flaws and failings and all the reasons why I can't/shouldn't/won't be successful, but look instead at others in the room - "how can I be of service to these people?" That connects with my values and purpose far greater than what I actually do to earn a living. Maybe there's a similar way you can find and distil your values and purpose into a question that keeps you moving. Stuff that goes on in our heads is hard, especially when others reinforce the most negative things we think about ourselves - good luck with moving on with it, and get professional help if you need it.
Without disrespecting your perception of yourself that comes across in your post I don't think you're lazy, it's just where your energy and interests and passions are directed isn't anywhere conventionally considered productive and also may not be doing you any favours either. That's very different from being lazy. It also sounds like you've accepted other people's definitions of yourself as lazy - ask yourself what accepting that definition is protecting you from. That's another step to moving past it because it enables you to rewrite the story and give yourself agency over the term. "Accepting being called lazy protects me from potentially failing to meet anyone's expectations, but it's not laziness, it's lack of confidence..." (or whatever) then you can start to work more closely with the cause.
In my job I struggle with purpose and huge imposter syndrome on a regular basis, and the way I kick on past both is to stop looking at myself and my flaws and failings and all the reasons why I can't/shouldn't/won't be successful, but look instead at others in the room - "how can I be of service to these people?" That connects with my values and purpose far greater than what I actually do to earn a living. Maybe there's a similar way you can find and distil your values and purpose into a question that keeps you moving. Stuff that goes on in our heads is hard, especially when others reinforce the most negative things we think about ourselves - good luck with moving on with it, and get professional help if you need it.
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Me too. It'll be Tuesday afternoon before I know it.
No one who has bothered to learn several languages can be lazy to the core.
You should look elsewhere for your itch.
Maybe a lack of direction?
A certain type of girlfriend could help with this.
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BadFish
Huge Member
- Oct 19, 2003
- 18,197
I suffer from this,
My advice is to set some goals and plan your days the night before. Create yourself a doable to do list and get stuck into it as soon as you get up or even better after a walk. Stay away from social media, scrolling and NSC.
Start small and build up your 'doing shit' stamina. reward yourself with a rest at the end of the day and forgive yourself when you **** up and waste a day/morning/afternoon whatever.
I have had a productive day today using this strategy. My next day off will probably not be quite so but I continue to try.
Here'sWally
New member
- Sep 27, 2021
- 118
I think there's a psychology in this to get people to like you more. Ask them to do favours for you
Makes them feel needed I suppose.
Nailed it, same for me - there's a very fine line between lazy and efficient. Surround yourself with the best people you can.
Maybe he's taken the advice of post #3 and gone out for a walk.
Although I suspect he's probably looking up some obscure statistics about football in locations I've never heard of....
1. Get out of your mums basement
2. stop exercising your wrists
3. cut out the pizzas
4. stop the man crush on Potter (see point 2 above).
Daylight and just going for a walk does one a world of good.
- Nov 3, 2015
- 3,460
Indeed. My (now sadly departed) brother was extremely good at his job (IT systems, or something) due to a combination of being very clever and very lazy - the motivation to build the best and the fastest as quickly as possible was the lure of many hours lounging around afterwards doing nothing. Or so his work colleagues told me, anyway. Swanny, you should extract the positives from your predicament.
highflyer
Well-known member
- Jan 21, 2016
- 2,553
Like others, I am basically very lazy
Yet I've done more with my life than almost anyone I know. So I like to think of myself as less 'lazy' and more 'easily bored'.
I certainly have not made any money from my laziness though. Almost every time I have changed my job/life etc, because I'm too lazy to keep working at something I'm bored with, it's left me worse off financially, but nearly always happier.
So, embrace it.
Focus on things you enjoy, don't worry about money as long as you have enough for pizzas and the internet and ignore people that try to judge you based on how hard you work. The protestant work ethic has a LOT to answer for. It's f*cked up more lives, and more of our planet, than laziness ever did.
Yet I've done more with my life than almost anyone I know. So I like to think of myself as less 'lazy' and more 'easily bored'.
I certainly have not made any money from my laziness though. Almost every time I have changed my job/life etc, because I'm too lazy to keep working at something I'm bored with, it's left me worse off financially, but nearly always happier.
So, embrace it.
Focus on things you enjoy, don't worry about money as long as you have enough for pizzas and the internet and ignore people that try to judge you based on how hard you work. The protestant work ethic has a LOT to answer for. It's f*cked up more lives, and more of our planet, than laziness ever did.
There’s the saying that if you want a task done ask a lazy person, they’ll find the easiest and quickest way to do it.
Pondicherry
Well-known member
Even better, write a 'not to do list'. Its easier to not do things.
So for example 'Don't post on NSC'. All you have to do is not do it and you can cross that one off.
Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
Well I'm very busy and work damn hard at being lazy. There is a skill [as others above have mentioned] of appearing to give signs of progress and activity whilst remaining lazy and doing nothing.