Your WORST ever holiday...

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

I was once talked into a caravan holiday too at a static site in ille de Res in France. This is the place which gets the highest average number of sunny days in France...well, let me tell you it hammered it down solidly for 10 long days. The photos I have show us in rain wear in front of various soggy sights across the vendee. There's a bridge to the island itself that cost a fiver every time you crossed, which added up seeing as we couldn't sit on the beach EVER. The campsite was full of deeply unhappy Huns who ignored us and I spent most evenings drowning my sorrows in a deserted clubhouse listening to Plastique Bertrand on loop.

I vowed then that I would never go on holiday in anything other than a villa or something with decent facilities. I have never broken that vow and never will.

I would also warn against ever going on holiday with a woman who has no concept of economical packing. I am sick of lugging massive bags full of rubbish around European airports in 40 degree temperatures. Holidays should be relaxing but always cause me massive amounts of stress. I travel a LOT for my work and spend enough time in airports as it is thanks.

 

[somerset]

Sun paper holiday for a tenner(or some such shit)...in a chalet in October in Westward Ho!.......... truly the shittiest experience this side of just about anywhere you could care to name.

 

[MissGull]

If you've ever experienced Thorness Bay of the Isle of Wight....you'll know about a shit hole. Wowsers.

 

[BN9 BHA]

Whats this Trip Adviser?

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Whats this Trip Adviser?

It's more like ballstocaravannining.com

 

[BN9 BHA]

It's more like ballstocaravannining.com

Can you break that down that's a far too long word for me?

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

those people who actually own caravans in caravan parks must have numerous screws loose surely? caravans are literally the worst type of accommodation...if you have the money to buy a caravan, put the money towards a real house instead

mental, absolutely mental

 

[Dusty_Fryer]

Another vote for...

 

[BN9 BHA]

Sun paper holiday for a tenner(or some such shit)...in a chalet in October in Westward Ho!.......... truly the shittiest experience this side of just about anywhere you could care to name.

Worse than working?

 

[BN9 BHA]

Another vote for...
View attachment 46609

Chav central!

 

[happypig]

If you've ever experienced Thorness Bay of the Isle of Wight....you'll know about a shit hole. Wowsers.

I have. You're right. They tried to stick us in a cabin that was riddled with damp and stank.

 

[Leighgull]

those people who actually own caravans in caravan parks must have numerous screws loose surely? caravans are literally the worst type of accommodation...if you have the money to buy a caravan, put the money towards a real house instead

mental, absolutely mental

...is the correct answer. The reason I agreed to go to Norfolk was because my other half has numerous family members with caravans on the same site as we booked. Needless to say I see them all now as very peculiar. Where is the fun in showering in something the size of my under stairs cupboard having a poo with your knees touching the (plastic) door and sleeping, or not, in a put u up bed,that smells of other people, under a damp duvet. These people are freaks. There was also a family of welsh people who started playing cricket at the crack of dawn next door every day as well as the aforementioned transvestite.

The members of her family who have permanent vans there are seemingly normal, fairly affluent and rational..one is a merchant banker with tons of cash..they go up there ALL THE TIME...dear God. They were even trying to entice us to invest in one of the ridiculous dwellings.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

To be fair. Norfolk is pretty shit without having to live in a caravan as well.

 

[Gwylan]

Can I be contrary here and say that I like caravan holidays. When were kids, our regular holiday was two weeks in a caravan in Stratford on Avon. We spent our days playing cricket, swimming in the river (no health and safety in those days), interspersed with visits to the theatre. I only have happy memories.

Now I have kids of my own, our family holidays are invariably in caravans and our kids love them. People who moan about them tend to be ones without kids - caravan parks provide instant playmates, something that you don't get from hotels.

 

[somerset]

Worse than working?

In this case, yes....

 

[Jameson]

This thread is a seriously good and amusing read!

I have to say I booked into a hotel in Theford (Norfolk) once when touring around the east for a week or so. The hotel was Ok ish, but then Mrs J and I went for a walk around the "town". Kids shrieking in the street, blokes effing and blinding, not decent restaurant to be seen, absolutely gut sinking feeling about the place. Took ages to get there too. Went straight back to the hotel, checked out and headed to Cambridgeshire instead. So pleased we did.

We won't be going to Norfolk again, that's for sure. Norfolk and chance.

 

[scousefan]

Can't match some of these for shear awfulness as a holiday. However I did have a classic holiday for 2 weeks in a cheap hotel in Rhodes in the late 80s. It was our first trip to Greece and was in March.

1. When we arrived it had rained. Our hotel bedding had been left outside the room and was damp.
2. There was a huge puddle outside our room door.
3. When we went to ask for new bedding the hotel owner pretended not to speak any English.
4. The rep spent the welcome meeting telling us her problems and that she was being threatened by the hotel owner.
5. Continental breakfast was supposed to be included, but you had to pay extra for maramade, jam, honey yoghurt, fruit, sugar and a second piece of bread.
6. On the second day we went to our room to find the hotel dog Diogenes ("dodgy knees") asleep on our bed. He could hardly walk and was almost bald due to an appalling case of skin infestation.
7. There were no signs saying don't put toilet paper in the loo which we maybe should have known, but didn't, being v young and not having been to Greece before. As a result the toilet blocked and flooded the bathroom floor with sewage.
8 We reported this to the hotel manager who now spoke some English. He came to the room and said . "You English are disgusting, you wreck my hotel, You would never put toilet paper into the toilet in your own home.
9. After a day or so of discussion we had the memorable scene where the owner came to the room, lifted the drain cover in the bathroom and told me I would have to put my hand down it to clear the blockage, saying "I no touch your shit"!!
10. We spent a week using the bathroom of a very nice couple next door, until the travel company had to send in their own plumber.
11. When we left the hotel owner tried to charge us damages. In the ensuing argument he kicked the poor dog so hard it collapsed in a moaning heap.
12. As we left in the bus, an old Greek man turned up with an axe and had a huge argument with the owner, while threatening him with the axe.
13. When we got home we realised that our pyjamas were mouldy from the damp bedding.
14. After many months the travel company reimbursed the cost of the holiday less the flights. The holiday had cost £200 and we got £48 back.

Many years later the memory of this holiday inspired me when I managed to sneak into the Crystal Palace dressing room...

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Not my worst holiday as I thoroughly enjoyed it whilst I was there (loosely translated as drank a lot) but this year I drove to Brittany. Prior to travelling, my neighbours who go every year told us how quiet French roads are. We’ve all heard the theory. Same amount of traffic as UK but loads more space. Listening to them, I was going to be unlucky if I saw another car. Well, that’s bollox let me tell you.

Against my better judgement we got the Dieppe ferry. Prior to leaving said ferry, sat nav reckoned 4 hours – then the fun started. This obviously didn’t include French customs who decide to check everyone’s passports (even though in theory that’s done the other end) and we haven’t even made it out of the Ferry port an hour after we’ve docked. By this time my 2 year old has woken up from his sleep and is bored before we even start. Driving quite fast to make up for lost time, we suddenly hit traffic. This is another hour delay which turns out to be the toll – I’ve never seen such a system of disorganisation. There was one uninterested guy in a high viz jacket across 6 or 7 boths trying to solve issue ranging from foreign numbskulls who couldn’t understand the difference between cards and a cash sign. We then had to go through 4 more tolls, the longest tailback being 10 miles.

The journey in my car stuffed full of shit and a 5 year olds puke remants took 9 hours. It took longer on the way back including a rainstorm so intense the cats and dogs setting on my wipers barely touched the sides and I couldn’t see any road markings.

I’m in the process of booking a Villa in Portugal next year. Never again.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Can I be contrary here and say that I like caravan holidays. When were kids, our regular holiday was two weeks in a caravan in Stratford on Avon. We spent our days playing cricket, swimming in the river (no health and safety in those days), interspersed with visits to the theatre. I only have happy memories.

Now I have kids of my own, our family holidays are invariably in caravans and our kids love them. People who moan about them tend to be ones without kids - caravan parks provide instant playmates, something that you don't get from hotels.

Let me get this straight. You think Barcelona is a shit tip but caravaning is great?

 

[Leighgull]

Not my worst holiday as I thoroughly enjoyed it whilst I was there (loosely translated as drank a lot) but this year I drove to Brittany. Prior to travelling, my neighbours who go every year told us how quiet French roads are. We’ve all heard the theory. Same amount of traffic as UK but loads more space. Listening to them, I was going to be unlucky if I saw another car. Well, that’s bollox let me tell you.

Against my better judgement we got the Dieppe ferry. Prior to leaving said ferry, sat nav reckoned 4 hours – then the fun started. This obviously didn’t include French customs who decide to check everyone’s passports (even though in theory that’s done the other end) and we haven’t even made it out of the Ferry port an hour after we’ve docked. By this time my 2 year old has woken up from his sleep and is bored before we even start. Driving quite fast to make up for lost time, we suddenly hit traffic. This is another hour delay which turns out to be the toll – I’ve never seen such a system of disorganisation. There was one uninterested guy in a high viz jacket across 6 or 7 boths trying to solve issue ranging from foreign numbskulls who couldn’t understand the difference between cards and a cash sign. We then had to go through 4 more tolls, the longest tailback being 10 miles.

The journey in my car stuffed full of shit and a 5 year olds puke remants took 9 hours. It took longer on the way back including a rainstorm so intense the cats and dogs setting on my wipers barely touched the sides and I couldn’t see any road markings.

I’m in the process of booking a Villa in Portugal next year. Never again.

I'd go round and punch your neighbour in the face if I were you.