[Humour] Your favourite one liners

[burnee54]

We took some photos of the young native girls, but they were under developed.
Were going back again next spring.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

I've met two idiots in my life.......you're both of them

 

[essbee1]

That vase must be unique - I've only ever seen one like it before in my life.

 

[raymondo]

From Mae West:
. I used to be Snow White, but I drifted
. A hard man is good to find
. You only live once, but if you do it right...once is enough

 

[Boys 9d]

When I'm good I'm very very good but when I'm bad I'm better.

Mae West

 

[Trufflehound]

This one is by Grouch Marx, in reference, I think, to Maralyn Monroe:

"I knew her before she was a virgin"

Think you'll find he said that about Doris Day.

Which actually makes a lot more sense...

 

[Worried Man Blues]

Queen Mary

 

[Barrow Boy]

My wife lost her virginity to me before we got engaged.
She found it again once we got married.

 

[worthingseagull]

The Bowler's Holding, the Batsman's Willey

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Dennis Healey, when he said that being attacked by Geoffrey Howe was 'like being savaged by a dead sheep'

 

[schmunk]

Dennis Healey, when he said that being attacked by Geoffrey Howe was 'like being savaged by a dead sheep'

Nicholas Soames' ex-wife reportedly said sex with him was "like having a wardrobe fall on you with the key still in".

 

[DavidRyder]

Favourite one line from a film:

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy

 

[Bolton va va]

In response to a pompous.. " Do you know who I am ? "

" Sorry, no......but you'll probably remember in the morning "