[Misc] Your epitaph

[Early Doors]

Sh1t.......

 

[Razzoo]

My Mrs. says that I have an aversion to completing anything in life and admittedly she has a point so her suggestion is
Here lies xxxxx xxxxx he finally completed something.

 

[Binney on acid]

He was dying for a piss.

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

Died peacefully in his sleep.

 

[Barrow Boy]

Was that it?

 

[studio150]

No grave stone or anything else formal.

I would just settle for when someone checks the Albion score after I've left this world, that from time to time, someone will say, I know someone who will be celebrating/angry with that result.

 

[JC Footy Genius]

If they're checking VAR to get into heaven I'm F*****

 

[portlock seagull]

Died peacefully in his sleep.

Reminds me of one of my fav jokes by the late great Bob Monkhouse “I’d like to die peacefully In my sleep, like my father did. Not screaming with fear, like his passengers were...”

 

[Juan Albion]

Yep, he beat the entire world, past and future, to those immortal words. We’ll all have to settle for 2nd, 3rd etc best if we want to go down that route! Genius.

He was nowhere near the first. Plagiarism at its finest.

 

[portlock seagull]

He was nowhere near the first. Plagiarism at its finest.

Never knew that, who did Spike nick it off?

 

[Juan Albion]

Never knew that, who did Spike nick it off?

e.g.

 

[pasty]

OOPS fslhgs;djflghfd

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I’m sure Elton will find the words when he has re-written Candle in the Wind for me.

 

[Dr Q]

Saw this on an old headstone in a derelict churchyard on Skye:
‘as I am, you will be’.
Very dark!!

 

[*Gullsworth*]

Today, tomorrow, to die, to memories.

 

[Seasidesage]

We hate Palace!

Can I have that on a tombstone?

 

[maltaseagull]

Don't want a headstone, don't even want a funeral. direct cremation scatter my ashes at sea and let my family spend the funeral money on something they want.

Agreed.
We have arranged for our bodies to be donated for medical research.

(Glad i won't be around to see that!)

 

[jakarta]

Can't beat a bit of Mellatron...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-C-HytsGYg0

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

I want to have my corpse fired out of a cannon, landing on the pitch at Selhurst Park in the middle of a game, putting everyone off their chips.

My epitaph can just be scrawled onto my forehead in sharpie.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I’m sure Elton will find the words when he has re-written Candle in the Wind for me.

Funnily enough Tubby, his first effort has just arrived on the fax machine:

And it seems to me you lived your life
Between Brighton and Berlin
Never knowing who to cling to
When you couldn't get a table in Cin Cin
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your craft beer went off long before
My Stella ever did