So sorry to hear @jakartaSorry to hear this Jakarta. Condolences to you and your family.
The thread title leapt out for me as I lost my younger brother aged 34 to cancer. Never easy is it, but I found/find talking about him and celebrating his life with other people who knew him some comfort. He had a load of friends who I never really bothered to get to know when they were kids, but talking about him with them was a help. Dreaded his funeral but it actually turned out to be kind of lovely.
RIP.
This post resonated with me, similar experience.