ringmerseagulltoo
Active member
- Feb 16, 2012
- 440
The three essential rules of life for an ageing gentleman
Never pass a toilet
Never waste an erection
Never trust a fart
Never pass a toilet
Never waste an erection
Never trust a fart
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You Know When You're Getting Old When.........
- Thread starter red star portslade
- Start date
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
Reminds me of the old chestnut...
Q: How do you know when you've passed an elephant?
A: You can't get the toilet seat down.
Perfidious Albion
Well-known member
You know you are getting old when .......
A] you qualify for "over 50's swimming"
B] you go, and some of the women look good to you !
A] you qualify for "over 50's swimming"
B] you go, and some of the women look good to you !
Insel affe
HellBilly
You know your getting old when.....
You groan every time you get up or bend down.
You groan every time you get up or bend down.
Bizarre. I was thinking this when I started using cycle clips this week.
Hillian1
( . ) ( . )
When you start planning your route to and from the football on the availability of toilet facilities on any given route.
Grombleton
Surrounded by <div>s
- Dec 31, 2011
- 7,356
I do that on ANY route - even if i'm going somewhere for a meeting, i want to make sure there's a loo nearby...it's a nerves thing.
I'm not that old though, i'm not even 30 yet
Jim Van Winkle
Well-known member
When you have to google what "YOLO" and "SMH" mean. These youngster really know how to *******ise the English language.
el punal
Well-known member
As long as you're not s(h)itting in front of me in the West Stand Upper!!
el punal
Well-known member
1. Have a Senior Railcard - good value for coming to the Amex and away trips.
2. Entitled to a bus pass.
3. Getting a discount for Charlton away game (over 60 not 65).
4. Not being able to wear white trousers anymore.
5. The waist of your trousers ascend to your nipples - this is a progressive state dependant on advancement of years.
6. The compulsory 40 winks in the afternoon.
7. You drop all your loose change at a busy supermarket check-out when trying to give the exact amount.
8. Music stopped being any good after 1982.
9. Anything with an "i" preceding it, as in i-phone, i-pad, i-nternet comes from another planet and should be treated with utmost caution and bewilderment.
10. For all items technical/technological refer to your off-spring (in my case daughters) to sort out - it's what they expect.
I'm sure that there are loads more instances but I'm afraid it's time for my afternoon nap - sweet dreams!
2. Entitled to a bus pass.
3. Getting a discount for Charlton away game (over 60 not 65).
4. Not being able to wear white trousers anymore.
5. The waist of your trousers ascend to your nipples - this is a progressive state dependant on advancement of years.
6. The compulsory 40 winks in the afternoon.
7. You drop all your loose change at a busy supermarket check-out when trying to give the exact amount.
8. Music stopped being any good after 1982.
9. Anything with an "i" preceding it, as in i-phone, i-pad, i-nternet comes from another planet and should be treated with utmost caution and bewilderment.
10. For all items technical/technological refer to your off-spring (in my case daughters) to sort out - it's what they expect.
I'm sure that there are loads more instances but I'm afraid it's time for my afternoon nap - sweet dreams!
Durlston
"You plonker, Rodney!"
Shaking head in disapproval when someone in the group pulls out a can of Stella Artois at 9am on the train to somewhere up north.
It takes days to get over jet lag.
Looking in the mirror for grey hairs and darkening them with hair gel.
Remembering nearly every football manager as a player.
It takes days to get over jet lag.
Looking in the mirror for grey hairs and darkening them with hair gel.
Remembering nearly every football manager as a player.
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
Surely no one of any age should ever wear white trousers, except perhaps on a cricket pitch.
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
Shaking head in disapproval when someone pulls out a can of Stella Artois anytime, anywhere, ever, is a sign of good taste, not age.
The only time I ever took days to get over jet lag was when I was 18. I actually find it gets easier as you get older.
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hart's shirt
Well-known member
It's been said that middle-age occurs when the broad mind and narrow waist change places.
When I'm tying up my shoelaces, I'm now wondering if there's anything else I need to do down there before I get up again.
When I'm tying up my shoelaces, I'm now wondering if there's anything else I need to do down there before I get up again.
Or worse, a lovely lady actually singles you out for a flyer....and it turns out to be for a hair loss clinic. This happened to me in Holborn.
Mo Gosfield
Well-known member
- Aug 11, 2010
- 6,362
They say that three things go when you get older. The first is your memory and I can't remember the other two.
The Sock of Poskett
The best is yet to come (spoiler alert)
- Jun 12, 2009
- 2,836
Reminds me of the comment that when you bend down to do up your shoelace, you have a look around to see what else you can do while you're down there.
