Stranger: u lyk sex....??
You: no, hate it.
You: uuuurrrggghhh.
Stranger: y..?
You: that's how it makes me go.
Stranger: u dont masturbate??
got some bloke from burgess hill who eats a lot of burgers and works as a radio jock
(I know what "asl" means, I just thought it was RUDE to ask like that)
I'm talking to a guy from Brazil
Are you scouting?
Erm, I mean in the footballing sense, I hasten to add.