[Misc] Writing to someone in an HMP

[Lenny Rider]

Got a couple of mates who have unfortunately taken a wrong turn and ended up in the Lewes College of correction.

Obviously wanted to write to them both to offer my support and try and maintain some normality ( talking to me I know ) but instead of writing now there is an email service which you have to register an account with a minimum of £5 with and they charge you 80p for each email you send.

I don’t know what the current UK prison population is, but it must bring a few quid into the Home Office coffers annually with the minimum spend of a fiver?

Then it got me thinking, how much will the Royal Mail have lost in stamp revenue as a result of this scheme?

 

[Swansman]

Then it got me thinking, how much will the Royal Mail have lost in stamp revenue as a result of this scheme?

If only I had some popcorn, my Sunday would be saved

 

[Muzzman]

Crime does pay for some… it does ask a lot of questions when you’re making profit from incarcerating people.

 

[Questions]

Got a couple of mates who have unfortunately taken a wrong turn and ended up in the Lewes College of correction.

Obviously wanted to write to them both to offer my support and try and maintain some normality ( talking to me I know ) but instead of writing now there is an email service which you have to register an account with a minimum of £5 with and they charge you 80p for each email you send.

I don’t know what the current UK prison population is, but it must bring a few quid into the Home Office coffers annually with the minimum spend of a fiver?

Then it got me thinking, how much will the Royal Mail have lost in stamp revenue as a result of this scheme?

Can you mention my carpentry and decorating services to the screws if you do write

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Got a couple of mates who have unfortunately taken a wrong turn and ended up in the Lewes College of correction.

Obviously wanted to write to them both to offer my support and try and maintain some normality ( talking to me I know ) but instead of writing now there is an email service which you have to register an account with a minimum of £5 with and they charge you 80p for each email you send.

I don’t know what the current UK prison population is, but it must bring a few quid into the Home Office coffers annually with the minimum spend of a fiver?

Then it got me thinking, how much will the Royal Mail have lost in stamp revenue as a result of this scheme?

You can still write. The email service is just a very expensive alternative

 

[Tom Bombadil]

Why is it the lock em up brigade are the most likely to know solid decent blokes who've taken a wrong turn?

 

[Brok]

Didn't prisoners sew mail bags for Royal Mail for donkeys years? I don't think they can complain too much.

 

[Springal]

You’re making the assumption the Home Office run it - I’d be 100% certain it’ll be outsourced to someone like Capita

This lot - https://www.unilink.com/

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Got a couple of mates who have unfortunately taken a wrong turn and ended up in the Lewes College of correction.

Obviously wanted to write to them both to offer my support and try and maintain some normality ( talking to me I know ) but instead of writing now there is an email service which you have to register an account with a minimum of £5 with and they charge you 80p for each email you send.

I don’t know what the current UK prison population is, but it must bring a few quid into the Home Office coffers annually with the minimum spend of a fiver?

Then it got me thinking, how much will the Royal Mail have lost in stamp revenue as a result of this scheme?

I keep reading about people running criminal activity from jail using their mobile phones, and that the phones can't be taken away because of Human Rights.

If this is true, why don't you just give them a ring?

 

[pocketseagull]

what tosh are you reading HWT

 

[1066familyman]

Reminds me of the armed robber in prison who also liked to grow veg back home.
His wife wrote to him inside saying she was keen to keep the garden going, what's the best time to plant potatoes.
He replied, whatever you do don't dig the garden over as that's where I buried the money! Oh, and don't worry, I'll tell you when is the best time to plant potatoes.
She then writes back, after you sent that last letter half of the local police force arrived at the house and insisted on digging the whole garden over! They didn't find anything.
To which he replied, Now's the time to plant potatoes

 

[hart's shirt]

I was thinking about doing some stand-up comedy in Lewes Prison.

Apparently it helps to have a captive audience.

 

[BN9 BHA]

If this is true, why don't you just give them a ring?

On their ‘cell’ phone

 

[Springal]

I keep reading about people running criminal activity from jail using their mobile phones, and that the phones can't be taken away because of Human Rights.

If this is true, why don't you just give them a ring?

Not quite - personal devices are prohibited and jails have technology where they sweep wings for things omitting a signal like phones , iPads etc. you can get a simple phone the size of a lighter or car key fob now which makes them easy to smuggle in

 

[Greg Bobkin]

On their ‘cell’ phone

How many bars do they get on their signal?

 

[Bakero]

what tosh are you reading HWT

NSC.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

You’re making the assumption the Home Office run it - I’d be 100% certain it’ll be outsourced to someone like Capita

This lot - https://www.unilink.com/

A company owned by a family friend/neighbour/donor to the Home Office is I think what you’re looking for.

 

[Baldseagull]

Reminds me of the armed robber in prison who also liked to grow veg back home.
His wife wrote to him inside saying she was keen to keep the garden going, what's the best time to plant potatoes.
He replied, whatever you do don't dig the garden over as that's where I buried the money! Oh, and don't worry, I'll tell you when is the best time to plant potatoes.
She then writes back, after you sent that last letter half of the local police force arrived at the house and insisted on digging the whole garden over! They didn't find anything.
To which he replied, Now's the time to plant potatoes

That was Norman Stanley Fletcher in Porridge.

 

[Pevenseagull]

How can we monetise this?

 

[Official Old Man]

Back to the original subject of the Post Office. In years gone past I sold postcards by the thousand. Post Covid the big three card manufacturers all went under. Now I sell a handfull of cards a week. My online sales are sent via Evri as they are just cheaper than the post office. My local post box gets one collection a day rather than 2. Whilst social media would have been a nail in the coffin for letters and cards, the internet should have been a revival for the delivery side of the business. Can imagine Amazon getting quotes for deliveries.
Amazon, we have 1 million parcels a day for collection. Post Office, we could send a bloke at 4:30 but he finishes at 5:00. Independent courier company, we'll have as many lorries as you need lined up outside.