If Jesus came back would you accept him as long as he adopted the style of play of RDZ?In a crowded category, this thread is the biggest HEAP OF SHIT I have ever seen on this website. Jesus Wept.
If Jesus came back would you accept him as long as he adopted the style of play of RDZ?In a crowded category, this thread is the biggest HEAP OF SHIT I have ever seen on this website. Jesus Wept.
I really know why anyone bothers watching any managers’ pressers. They are all near pointless - regardless of whether the centre of attention is a dull sociology teacher, or an attention-hungry egotistic, but charming, Latino.It will stop IF he comes, Because most won't bother coming on here after being too depressed and pissed off with the club.
Which I will not blame them for.
It was so bad at one point i stopped watching Potter's post match interviews for the rest of the season.
I’d accept McGhee back playing knock and run at this point.If Jesus came back would you accept him as long as he adopted the style of play of RDZ?
If RDZ was still manager, we'd need at least ten minutes for Paul to detail the latest injury news.I really know why anyone bothers watching any managers’ pressers. They are all near pointless - regardless of whether the centre of attention is a dull sociology teacher, or an attention-hungry egotistic, but charming, Latino.
A two minute statement from Paul Camillin detailing the latest injury news would have exactly the same value.
Future CEO?If RDZ was still manager, we'd need at least ten minutes for Paul to detail the latest injury news.
Dough based and cheese?The OP smells strongly of Swansman
SkunkDough based and cheese?
That’s because most the time, the questions are crap, leading or down right ridiculous.I really know why anyone bothers watching any managers’ pressers. They are all near pointless - regardless of whether the centre of attention is a dull sociology teacher, or an attention-hungry egotistic, but charming, Latino.
A two minute statement from Paul Camillin detailing the latest injury news would have exactly the same value.
When I saw the image, it gave me a good laugh. Thanks, Han Solo[/url]
Welcome back to the Amex Graham! How does it feel?
- Its ok. Not as planned, but it is what it is, no? Just kidding. NOTHING is what it is.
You've signed a five-year-deal. Are you intending to stay for the entire duration this time?
- I'm going to talk to Tony about it. If he can make Graham wake up happy every morning for the next five years, Graham will stay. If Graham wake up unhappy, Graham is probably opting out of this "going to work" thingie you're talking about. But don't worry, you'll notice as I'll update you on my feelings of happiness twice a week. I'm very passionate about sharing my emotional rollercoaster due to the massive size of my testicles.
Some people have been critical of your return. How do you intend to turn that around?
- I spent too much time planning tactics and too little time planning press conferences last time around. Me, and the definitely-not-my-agent lad I'm dragging to every presser from now on, will be choosing our (btw very honest) words wisely from now on to get what we want.
We've picked up a fair bit of lingo from Roberto and will be talking a lot about balls, heart, happiness, passion and other emotional words that make the monkeyminded adrenaline-filled fan relate to us. People like to hear things like 'my passion is like the wave of the oceans, my hunger for the balls is insatiable, if I wake up happy in the morning". We'll be doing a lot of bad Italian poetry.
You're going into this season without the previous exciting Europa League adventure. Will your players find it difficult to find motivation?
- They don't seem awfully motivated right now but thats not really my problem is it, no? I woke up with a sore back, unhappy. And I suffer because I'm hungry. So yeah motivation all around pretty low.
Your predecessor rotated between his two goalies, is this something you're going to continue, and why in that case?
- Different games, different goalies. Games we feel like losing 4-0 we play Jason Steele and we want a decent chance we play Bart Verbruggen, because LOOK AT ME and ASK ME IF IM HAPPY... uh sorry. I meant, because "reasons".
Evan Ferguson is back and fully fit. Do you think he can turn into the player people hoped?
- Nah, he's maybe decent at shooting but this O'Mahony lad is a lot better and I passionately love him with all of my balls and heart and Evan can f*** off.
You recently signed a 19-year-old superstar prospect from France. If he's hearing this, what would you want him to feel when he's walking on to the pitch at the Amex this Saturday?
- That he's not ready. He might as well get used to hearing that because I'm going to say it every week. He's not Caicedo, Alexis or the 31-year-old FC Vaffancolo midfielder I told mr Bloom to buy. Thats how he should feel on the Amex next Saturday. I'm looking forward to screaming in agony and despair when he fucks up, because of how passionate and honest I am.
The injury situation...
- Umm it is what it is, except it isn't: we're going to need eight new Vaffancolo FC players to do anything useful at all, really. Lamptey and Veltman had an unfortunate collision yesterday and both are gone permanently. Then we have Billy G, Pervis, Solly, Dunk all out for the next few months. Except Pervis who we're stuffing with morphine so he can limp around on his broken leg until someone needs to remove it. This non-Vaffancolo FC Barco-guy isn't ready.
Lamine Yamal is reported to be close to a loan deal. Do you think you can help him develop?
- If he does well, it was thanks to me and my passion and balls etc yeah. If he can't do shit, its on Tony and his lack of ambitions.
What will your tactical approach be this season?
- Based on my recent studies on popular tactical trends, we're going to give the ball to Mitoma and his individual skill will do my job for me. If he is hurt during next weeks amputation practice session, I need someone else to do my job for me. We're also leaving a big fat passionate hole between our central defenders and full backs for the next seven months, because why not.
The transfer window is closing in a week. What do you need before the new season?
- Eight new Vaffanculo FC players, each of them handpicked by me based on Youtube highlights and each of them passionate about licking my arse. But the owner... maybe different ideas. But If he can buy me 8 of the players I point at, I will wake up happy until I want 4 new ones in January. I'm gonna talk about it with him later, just thought you lads should know first.
Some of the things you're saying might be considered controversial.
- Well, I'm just entirely honest because as we all know that's entirely compatible with being a grown-up individual living in a functional society. Anyway, look at my hair, hear about my passion, my balls, my hunger, my suffering, my tormented soul, my small football club and listen to my essays on morning happiness... its not like anyone is going to care about the other stuff.
So finally, how do you think it will go this season?
- I'm going to sit and sob about players we've sold and players we didn't buy and tell our players they aren't good enough and tell our fans that the owner lacks the ambition to make me wake up happy in the morning. And then there will be a statue of me in Preston Park.
and in fairness most of those people are on nsc!Some people have too much time on their hands.
It reads like it was written using Artificial Thickiness.The OP took a good deal of time to put together (the photoshopped Grahamberto is a nice touch), and probably isn't actually as funny as he thought it would be - but satire isn't the easiest form of comedy, especially if as one might suspect, you were not writing in your first language.
BUT, as ever in satire - there are truths within it. Essentially that Roberto's undeniable charisma afforded him lots of goodwill amongst the lovestruck elements of our fanbase - even once he'd basically stopped doing his job.
NSC is for fag breaks at work or curling one out in the morningand in fairness most of those people are on nsc!
I thought the satire was spot on too.When I saw the image, it gave me a good laugh. Thanks, Han Solo
Third time lucky?Micky Adams came back. Mullery came back.
Neither worked out too well.
I really hope the club has something else in the plans rather than go back to GP.
Are you currently having a fag? Or curling one out.....asking for a friend.NSC is for fag breaks at work or curling one out in the morning
Let me test that statement,Anyone but that **** Potter