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Worst Food Experience



vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,272
The worst...WORST food experience is when your juices are running high and the expectation of a glorious rare beef roast is almost unbearable ... then up comes that thin , mucked-about-with, pre-cooked-days-ago, GREY, GREY, GREY slices of beef. Bloody 'orrible

Never understood all that rubbish about roast Beef having to be cooked rare.

Mrs V and her family will mostly eat anything and everything but if ever we are out in a pub new to us and they are offering " rare Roast Beef " the whole family goes in to a clucking debate of should they go for the Beef or not , "But what not if it's not rare ? " is the inevitable question. Cue hand wringing and angst as one decides to go for it and the others worry about whether its going to be better than their roast Lamb or slow cooked Pork Belly. Next step is for one of them to approach the bar in an obvious nervous and agitated condition and try to ask an already overworked, under stress barman " Is the Beef really cooked rare and just pink ?" to which the barman will reply " yes, I think so "

This answer is completely unacceptable to the now confused and increasingly agitated family. What if one plumps for it and it's pink and " Gorgeous" and and the others have gone for the Pork Belly and it's only " quite nice " ? There will be a 5 minute debate and further inquiries need to be made. This will necessitate another trip to the bar in order to get access to the chef, already hard at work and under pressure to be asked " is your Beef really cooked rare ?" To which the stock reply is "Yes "

Meanwhile the pub is filling up and the roast orders are flying in and every delay may mean the one of the 4 staple roasts may be gone soon ( usually lamb, my favourite )and so now the pressure is really on to make that decision and yet still they flounder, after what seems an eternity they all plump for the Beef. with a resigned look. I order the Lamb or Pork or Chicken, all equally glorious in their own way and three out of four of us await with trepidation. It's a Sunday roast after all, innit ?

Inevitably there is an autopsy after the feast to which the Beef eaters all say " well, it was alright but not brilliant " and when asked about my choice, I reply " Scrummy !"

This is always the scenario somewhere in Brighton every Sunday, so if you see three agitated people squawking about Beef with one laid back chap rolling his eyes pop over and say hello.
 




Bwian

Kiss my (_!_)
Jul 14, 2003
15,898
Arrived at a B&B in some little village in the Champagne region in time for their evening meal. The B&B had a very good reputation for its food and the menu was quite impressive with a huge selection of dishes. I blame being tired for my mid-reading the menu. Our meal arrived and we both looked at this plate full of what can only be described as looking like road kill in some gelatinous mess, served with some nice looking veg. Both of us attempted to eat the 'meat' but gave up after chewing on the same piece for what seemed like 10 minutes. We called the owner over. They spoke no English and my French hadn't been used for about twenty years so bit of a communication problem. Part of the dish's name included 'veau' so we thought we'd be safe with veal something or other. After much discussion and lots of hand gestures we discovered that our meal was Scalp of Veal Calf. Come on, who eats scalp ffs? It was disgusting-a layer of tough skin covering slimy fat and a sliver of meat. The owners were very good and exchanged our veau for a chicken dish-never has chicken tasted so good. Makes me gag every time I think of that plateful of scalp.
 




Jul 20, 2003
20,680
The food in Cuba is generally pretty poor so I should have been weary but I once ordered squid and chips and in my mind's eye had conjured up a lovely image. A short while later a plate of soggy cold greasy chips and along side rested a cold limp slimy squid about the size of adult hand. And it looked exactly like a squid; there had been no attempt to dress it up or anything.

I've heard this before from EVERYONE I know who's been to Cuba. It may just be my friends know how much I love my grub but within 3 minutes of starting to discuss their various trips they've all told me that the food was shocking.
 






Bwian

Kiss my (_!_)
Jul 14, 2003
15,898
Never understood all that rubbish about roast Beef having to be cooked rare.

.

Rare beef is usually very tender and easy to eat. I've never understood that rubbish about Roast Beef having to be over-cooked :)
 


trueblue

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
10,954
Hove
Campylobacter from a Tuna salad in Tel Aviv. Couldn't eat for days or stand up (gravity is not helpful in these situations). Thankfully, at about the time I thought it was the end of me and started ****ing blood, it turned out it was the end of the bug. Managed a whole teaspoon of rice that day and never looked back.
 








hybrid_x

Banned
Jun 28, 2011
2,225
Nova Scotia - dodgy indian restuarant - worst food poisoning in the worst hotel in -22 degrees.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,684
The Fatherland
Eat a lot if seafood so do get the odd minor issue, however have had serious issues with oysters twice, all night both starting exactly 24 hours after eating. No more.
Have discovered that there are many different 'types' of food poisoning that can cut in immediately or 24 or 48 hours or even 7 days after eating, so what you think may be the cause might have been the previous days...

Same here. I adore oysters and have had some really bad reactions over the years. Worst was in Dublin when I started to projectile vomit. I kept on "vomiting" for hours even though there was nothing left to throw up; I really thought I was going to turn myself inside out. I ended up bursting lots of blood vessels around my eyes so I looked like I had two shiners. Not a nice experience.
 




Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,684
The Fatherland
I've heard this before from EVERYONE I know who's been to Cuba. It may just be my friends know how much I love my grub but within 3 minutes of starting to discuss their various trips they've all told me that the food was shocking.

There's a flourishing market for literally eating in people's homes and this provided some very nice meals in interesting settings; one family purchased some black market lobsters and cooked me, @Cesar Chavez and @London Calling a huge banquet. But out and about the food was shocking.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,684
The Fatherland
Not in the best hotel on the Island, wonderful fare, being half Spanish owned helped no doubt

The Nacional? I did eat there and yes it was good; I went there out of desperation. Me and LC also got involved with a model shoot in the garden there...but that's another story :wink:
 


wigangull

New member
Jul 19, 2013
40
Wigan Lancs
I've given tripe enough chances to declare it bloody awful stuff.

1st time, in a restaurant in France where it was the signature dish. Horrible
2nd time, in a pub in Yorkshire with a reputation for the dish: Horrible
3rd time, cooked by me following a recipe from Larousse. Horrible
4th time, a tin from a Polish deli recommended to me by a Pole who rates it highly. Horrible

I've given up

You sir have commited a cardinal sin,Honeycombe Tripe should be eaten RAW with salt,pepper ,marrowfat peas and planty of vinigar.........great.:drool:
 






Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
72,321
Hand on heart I'd have to say the veggie pie I was allocated in Amex Pie Roulette. OK, I asked for steak and ale, but would have been prepared to write the experience off if the veggie pie had consisted of anything even a bit tasty. But it was just bright orange gunk, butternut squash or some old cardboard crap. Plus of course the queues were way too long to take the thing back and demand a full refund. Hated that caterers for that. How fckuing DARE they take our custom so much for granted. Nowadays I make sure I take a bite out of pie before handing over my hard-earned.
 


pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
31,024
West, West, West Sussex
Hand on heart I'd have to say the veggie pie I was allocated in Amex Pie Roulette. OK, I asked for steak and ale, but would have been prepared to write the experience off if the veggie pie had consisted of anything even a bit tasty. But it was just bright orange gunk, butternut squash or some old cardboard crap. Plus of course the queues were way too long to take the thing back and demand a full refund. Hated that caterers for that. How fckuing DARE they take our custom so much for granted. Nowadays I make sure I take a bite out of pie before handing over my hard-earned.

Had the same experience. Asked for steak and got the veggie one. Your description of it is spot on, it was disgusting.
 


Raleigh Chopper

New member
Sep 1, 2011
12,054
Plymouth
A curry house in Blackpool owned by an English couple who asked us to pay before we got it, enthralled we continued, the restaurant should have been called Uncle Benns.
 




TheDuke

Well-known member
Oct 28, 2011
1,223
Arundel
Never understood all that rubbish about roast Beef having to be cooked rare.

Mrs V and her family will mostly eat anything and everything but if ever we are out in a pub new to us and they are offering " rare Roast Beef " the whole family goes in to a clucking debate of should they go for the Beef or not , "But what not if it's not rare ? " is the inevitable question. Cue hand wringing and angst as one decides to go for it and the others worry about whether its going to be better than their roast Lamb or slow cooked Pork Belly. Next step is for one of them to approach the bar in an obvious nervous and agitated condition and try to ask an already overworked, under stress barman " Is the Beef really cooked rare and just pink ?" to which the barman will reply " yes, I think so "

This answer is completely unacceptable to the now confused and increasingly agitated family. What if one plumps for it and it's pink and " Gorgeous" and and the others have gone for the Pork Belly and it's only " quite nice " ? There will be a 5 minute debate and further inquiries need to be made. This will necessitate another trip to the bar in order to get access to the chef, already hard at work and under pressure to be asked " is your Beef really cooked rare ?" To which the stock reply is "Yes "

Meanwhile the pub is filling up and the roast orders are flying in and every delay may mean the one of the 4 staple roasts may be gone soon ( usually lamb, my favourite )and so now the pressure is really on to make that decision and yet still they flounder, after what seems an eternity they all plump for the Beef. with a resigned look. I order the Lamb or Pork or Chicken, all equally glorious in their own way and three out of four of us await with trepidation. It's a Sunday roast after all, innit ?

Inevitably there is an autopsy after the feast to which the Beef eaters all say " well, it was alright but not brilliant " and when asked about my choice, I reply " Scrummy !"

This is always the scenario somewhere in Brighton every Sunday, so if you see three agitated people squawking about Beef with one laid back chap rolling his eyes pop over and say hello.

Although I concur with all you say, the point has whizzed over yer 'ead. If push came to shove, my beef would be on the rare side. However from blue through to well done is absolutely acceptable as long as it was cooked that day. What is 'orrible is that GREY slice, of whatever it calls itself, that was prepared in 1943 and vacuumed packed ready to be served up as a great pub roast in 2013
 


¡Cereal Killer!

Whale Oil Beef Hooked
Sep 13, 2003
10,217
Somewhere over there...
In a buffet style restaurant in Kuala Lumpur, I picked up what I think was a sausage roll or something similar only to pick it up with the tongs for a load of ants to crawl out of it! The eggs looked like they had been there for a couple of days.
Bananas are my Kryptonite. Just the smell of one makes me feel ill.
 


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