[Albion] Work Christmas Do

[dazzer6666]

Update: no accidents. In the end there were 5 staff and about 20 of them. Oddly ten of these were Chinese. The games were brilliant (most of us are childishly competitive). I left early (about 7 thirty) and was told later one of the Chinese students couldn't handle her wine and had to be escorted from the premises.

We academics certainly know how to push the boat out.

The Asian ladies in my team ALWAYS end up disgracing themselves. It’s genetic.


And very funny.

 

[Marty___Mcfly]

Thanks for all the replies- I imagine there will be lots of do’s next week so hopefully some funny updates to come.

Mine’s in West Street on Thursday- about 40 people, we have to pay our own way, but we do get the afternoon off.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[dazzer6666]

Thanks for all the replies- I imagine there will be lots of do’s next week so hopefully some funny updates to come.

Mine’s in West Street on Thursday- about 40 people, we have to pay our own way, but we do get the afternoon off.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Some ‘arcade’ pub in Clapham for us........it’ll be shit.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

The Asian ladies in my team ALWAYS end up disgracing themselves. It’s genetic.


And very funny.

When the gene for aldehyde dehydrogenase is deficient, and all the booze turns to acetaldehyde with nowhere to go in a hurry apart from circulate around the body while the kidneys say 'OK, but one ml an hour is all you're getting', and the faces go red and everything goes wobbley? This particular student had the minority phenotype that turns wine to water at the standard rate. The problem was she necked about a litre of it in about an hour, and in a six stone distribution volume, you know this is only headed in one direction

 

[dazzer6666]

When the gene for aldehyde dehydrogenase is deficient, and all the booze turns to acetaldehyde with nowhere to go in a hurry apart from circulate around the body while the kidneys say 'OK, but one ml an hour is all you're getting', and the faces go red and everything goes wobbley? This particular student had the minority phenotype that turns wine to water at the standard rate. The problem was she necked about a litre of it in about an hour, and in a six stone distribution volume, you know this is only headed in one direction

[emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

Luckily, my Asian contingent is numerically matched with an Irish contingent who end up on ‘holding back the hair’ duties during conversations on the big white telephone [emoji23][emoji23]

 

[The Clamp]

Update: no accidents. In the end there were 5 staff and about 20 of them. Oddly ten of these were Chinese. The games were brilliant (most of us are childishly competitive). I left early (about 7 thirty) and was told later one of the Chinese students couldn't handle her wine and had to be escorted from the premises.

We academics certainly know how to push the boat out.

I have found that Chinese folk, especially younger ones will turn up when invited. They consider it rude not to. The also take the slightest mention of an approximate arrangement as conformation.
For example if you say (as I once did) to Chinese students, that I may organise a bowling trip on the third Friday of next month. It was never mentioned again. Until that Friday when 15 Chinese students were waiting in the lobby at 5pm to go bowling.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

I have found that Chinese folk, especially younger ones will turn up when invited. They consider it rude not to. The also take the slightest mention of an approximate arrangement as conformation.
For example if you say (as I once did) to Chinese students, that I may organise a bowling trip on the third Friday of next month. It was never mentioned again. Until that Friday when 15 Chinese students were waiting in the lobby at 5pm to go bowling.

Very good point. Exact opposite of (white) Canadiams who often say 'you MUST' come over to dinner'. On acquaintance of mine met me at a meeting asnd said 'you MUST come and visit and stay for a couple of days during the American Heart meeting'. So.....I sent him a letter (this was pre-email) a few weeks later telling him when I'd arrive He was very gracious, but I haven't heard from him since.

If you theory is correct (and I think it is) it means that of the 25 odd students who rocked up, fewer than ten were there through genuine choice....who would EVER have guessed

 

[The Clamp]

Very good point. Exact opposite of (white) Canadiams who often say 'you MUST' come over to dinner'. On acquaintance of mine met me at a meeting asnd said 'you MUST come and visit and stay for a couple of days during the American Heart meeting'. So.....I sent him a letter (this was pre-email) a few weeks later telling him when I'd arrive He was very gracious, but I haven't heard from him since.

If you theory is correct (and I think it is) it means that of the 25 odd students who rocked up, fewer than ten were there through genuine choice....who would EVER have guessed

Funny old thing, arrangements and culture. Brits will organise anyhthing in the evening and it’s a given that a pub will be involved . Bowling evening? Means bowling and beer. Theatre? Meet in the pub an hour before curtain up. Cinema? Early showing so we can get a pint after. Or anytime really. Lunch? Sure, which pub?

Shall we meet for tea/coffee? Where? Saltarbucks? Which one? The one near the Freemasons.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Anyone else going to Manchester for their works do?

 

[Whitechapel]

Got mine this Saturday. Basking in the warm satisfaction that it can’t go anywhere near as badly as my 2016 Christmas party at my previous job.

I was working for World of Books in Goring and the workforce there was split pretty evenly between foreigners and English workers, so the Christmas party was normally a good laugh because all the Eastern European’s would just go mad on the booze and everyone would end up steaming.However in 2016 the Christmas party ended up on the same day as a mates birthday, who had organised an all-day session in Hovefollowed by drinks in Brighton in the evening. Not much of a fan of drinking in Brighton, so decided to go out for my mates birthday and then when they headed out of Hove I’d run home, get changed & head on to Worthing for the work drinks.

How steaming was I when I got to the work party? Well I very soon realised I had my shirt on inside out, and had managed to lose the “substances” I had purchased to sober myself up. After quickly redressing myself in the toilets I was back out and on fine form... until me and 2 mates decided karaoke was a good idea.

Now what I have to stress here is that it wasn’t a karaoke event, we had to go on to the stage and specifically ask the DJ if we could do Karaoke and he tried to warn us against it but we were adamant that it would be hilarious and everyone would join in. The moment I realised it was a terrible idea was when I told everyone to ‘sing along if they know the words’ and was greeted with a sea of perplexed Bulgarian and Polish faces. Toploader - Dancing in the Moonlight obviously wasn’t that big in the Baltic region. We ended up binning it off halfway through the song and slouching off to the upstairs public bar where we could drink away from our shame.

We eventually returned to our work party when we heard someone had been headbutted in the middle of the dance floor and that somebody else had been asked to leave and had since been spotted outside cuddling up to a homeless person. At that point bellowing half a song at everyone seemed like pretty small fry so we were saved.

Ended up staying out after the party finished with a host of the Europeans drinking neat vodka on Worthing beach until about 5:30am due to some weird patriotic duty to make sure England held its own. Felt like absolute shite for about 3 days afterwards

 

[sjamesb3466]

Do most offices still have one of these?

We do. Only 5 of us in the office too which means there is not enough people to dilute the prick. Late 20's, member of the Mazda MX5 owners club. Need I say more.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

We do. Only 5 of us in the office too which means there is not enough people to dilute the prick. Late 20's, member of the Mazda MX5 owners club. Need I say more.

I've never understood why people get so excited and join owners clubs for what are clearly an average car to look at, an average car to drive, and there are loads of them.... In 2007 I got my Sales Manager one of the first Nissan Qashqai's. 1.5 Diesel, Manual, 15 inch wheels, couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding and looked as exciting as a wilted lettuce. Then... he joined the "Qashqai Owners Club Forum" and spoke at great lengths about the slight water ingress from the Panoramic Roof, and how... zzzz .....zzzzzz ......

Sorry, nodded off there.

 

[Birdie Boy]

Er Lindfield not Lingfield and in fact Ardingly

Er, I know but you made the mistake with Lindfield so could easily make a mistake with Lingfield, typo etc..

 

[Vatican Citys No.2 Keeper]

Got mine this Saturday. Basking in the warm satisfaction that it can’t go anywhere near as badly as my 2016 Christmas party at my previous job.

I was working for World of Books in Goring and the workforce there was split pretty evenly between foreigners and English workers, so the Christmas party was normally a good laugh because all the Eastern European’s would just go mad on the booze and everyone would end up steaming.However in 2016 the Christmas party ended up on the same day as a mates birthday, who had organised an all-day session in Hovefollowed by drinks in Brighton in the evening. Not much of a fan of drinking in Brighton, so decided to go out for my mates birthday and then when they headed out of Hove I’d run home, get changed & head on to Worthing for the work drinks.

How steaming was I when I got to the work party? Well I very soon realised I had my shirt on inside out, and had managed to lose the “substances” I had purchased to sober myself up. After quickly redressing myself in the toilets I was back out and on fine form... until me and 2 mates decided karaoke was a good idea.

Now what I have to stress here is that it wasn’t a karaoke event, we had to go on to the stage and specifically ask the DJ if we could do Karaoke and he tried to warn us against it but we were adamant that it would be hilarious and everyone would join in. The moment I realised it was a terrible idea was when I told everyone to ‘sing along if they know the words’ and was greeted with a sea of perplexed Bulgarian and Polish faces. Toploader - Dancing in the Moonlight obviously wasn’t that big in the Baltic region. We ended up binning it off halfway through the song and slouching off to the upstairs public bar where we could drink away from our shame.

We eventually returned to our work party when we heard someone had been headbutted in the middle of the dance floor and that somebody else had been asked to leave and had since been spotted outside cuddling up to a homeless person. At that point bellowing half a song at everyone seemed like pretty small fry so we were saved.

Ended up staying out after the party finished with a host of the Europeans drinking neat vodka on Worthing beach until about 5:30am due to some weird patriotic duty to make sure England held its own. Felt like absolute shite for about 3 days afterwards

Sounds about right. I've been to enough of the WOB Christmas parties when they were held at the pool club on the seafront to know there's always some kind of drama. Haven't been to one of those for a few years and don't intend on doing so this year either, despite moving departments a few months ago and being around a nicer bunch of workers (for that place!).

Luckily I've always had some freelance work on the go whilst at WOB, so I've always had a decent Christmas Do to go every year with people I'm actually happy being around, with this year being no exception. 3-course lunchtime meal at a pub just off Oxford Street in just over a week. Meal covered for by the boss, and considering a good friend of mine also freelances for the same company as me I've no doubt we'll end up drinking for a while after the meal.

 

[AmexRuislip]

I've never understood why people get so excited and join owners clubs for what are clearly an average car to look at, an average car to drive, and there are loads of them.... In 2007 I got my Sales Manager one of the first Nissan Qashqai's. 1.5 Diesel, Manual, 15 inch wheels, couldn't pull the skin off a rice pudding and looked as exciting as a wilted lettuce. Then... he joined the "Qashqai Owners Club Forum" and spoke at great lengths about the slight water ingress from the Panoramic Roof, and how... zzzz .....zzzzzz ......

Sorry, nodded off there.

Hey what's wrong with car club's.
I'm a regularly attendee at the Trabant Xmas knees up.
It's a classic

 

[getreal1]

Mines on the 13th Dec. There was a poll and I chose only one day that I could attend, this being the day that least others could make.
Unfortunately they've selected the day I couldn't make...
I suffer the bellends with good humor at work and there are a few that I genuinely like. I'm not interested in socialising on mass with bellends so now try to give such occasions a miss.

Good for you. Too many people are pressured to go to these things. If you don't want to, your call.

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Next Thursday lunch time, in an Italian restaurant in Hallbergmoos very close to Munich airport. Flying home late Thursday afternoon so won’t be drinking. Beer and planes don’t work for me.

Have you considered being a pilot for a Japanese airline instead? They’re more accepting of this sort of behaviour.

 

[Deportivo Seagull]

Have you considered being a pilot for a Japanese airline instead? They’re more accepting of this sort of behaviour.

Providing I’m allowed to go for a piss every five minutes I’d be perfect.

 

[Cian]

Tonights the night! Midweek, ridiculous

Invite specified "dresscode: glamour" so most of us are just going dressed as normal, sure its a glamour industry and we're all fabulous already. They were going to say black tie as I mentioned before but backed off for some reason - even though basically everyone here has that clobber already.

The start is 6:30pm in a venue about 30mins tram journey (at worst) from here. People have started leaving. I am expecting them to be absolutely scuttered drunk by the time they arrive, as they're not going home to come back in.