Wind

[Barrel of Fun]

Do you suffer from it?

I say suffer in the loosest sense, as it is quite a weapon to have in your arsenal. There is a great pleasure to be found in producing a pane shattering roar from the bowels of hell or a silent, but violent emission that has everyone mistrusting, even their dear friends.

Do you have anything of note that would divorce 'my friend' from a gassy existence?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Do you suffer from it?

I say suffer in the loosest sense, as it is quite a weapon to have in your arsenal. There is a great pleasure to be found in producing a pane shattering roar from the bowels of hell or a silent, but violent emission that has everyone mistrusting, even their dear friends.

Do you have anything of note that would divorce 'my friend' from a gassy existence?

Has drink been taken perchance? Your punctuation's shot to shit

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Has drink been taken perchance? Your punctuation's shot to shit

Unfortunately, it has, which has not helped the problem.

 

[Mowgli37]

I often produce flatulence of the most violent kind, those dreadful wafters which don't feel like threatening much when released but which drift and spread through a room, felling any who stand in their way, unable to cope with the putrid cloud of death. Having said that, I have never produced anything as foul as the tyrant who cursed the North Stand during the Bolton match with an eruption like a burst sewer.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

1.45 in, WHOOOOOOSH

 

[Bill Cassidy's tie up]

My mate was the one mentioned on here at Forest away last year 'who dropped their hat ' if I remember correctly

 

[Brian Fantana]

Somebody drops their hat in the back third of the North stand during EVERY game, without fail.

 

[Questions]

I only have to eat lettuce and I convert that into the worst case of flatulence you can imagine
Am I blessed of cursed ?

 

[Guinness Boy]

I had a lamb jalfriezi for dinner tonight. When the inevitable happens in the middle of the night I'll phone the insurers and claim it was storm damage from Monday that I forgot about.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Baked Beans. Only have to look a can and PHAAAARRP.

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

I've just had;

Garlic chicken balti
Garlic rice
Garlic naan
Onion bhaji

Lights blue touch paper and stands back

 

[Guinness Boy]

Somebody drops their hat in the back third of the North stand during EVERY game, without fail.

I dropped my hat in the train queue on Monday night. Luckily some really nice old lady picked it up for me and told me to take better care of it with a kindly but admonishing look.

 

[Sloe Joe]

I love Harveys Best but 2 pints + creates the most catastrophic wind.
I'm happy to soldier on.

 

[Norman Potting]

I love Harveys Best but 2 pints + creates the most catastrophic wind.
I'm happy to soldier on.

Wonder what it was like in the limo after her Maj. and Phil left the brewery yesterday?

 

[Guinness Boy]

Wonder what it was like in the limo after her Maj. and Phil left the brewery yesterday?

Even more hot air than normal?

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

My other half is a vegetarian.

I won't go on.

 

[Fef]

I have learned not to trust a fart.

 

[Mowgli37]

This thread is starting to echo a certain one from a while back...

https://nortr3nixy.nimpr.uk/showthread.php?239974-Brent-was-right-Women-are-DIRTY

 

[Meade's Ball]

Two pwarps of mine spring to mind that i imagine might haunt the nightmares of a few who were down wind of them. One was in the San Siro as i leaned over the edge of the balcony to stare down on the pitch. I'd drunk a lot of booze and eaten 3 pizzas a day for a couple of days and something inside me let out a rot-roar that singed a few nostril hairs. I don't speak Italian at all, but i recognised "WHAT THE ****ING HELL IS THAT" from about 100 or so people within my vicinity as i shook with hysterical laughter, still staring at the turf 30m below me, hoping no one would guess it were me and my anus that were the harbingers.
The other one i think of was after a night on the powder many many moons ago. The next day, still awake and slowly exhausted as energy levels dipped below zero, i was at a Radio 6 show of the Fiery Furnaces, who i was into and glad to have a free pass. In the air tight watchbox in the roof of the studio was i, my friend, his girlfriend, and about 20 or so lopsided-haired hipsters. I hadn't eaten for a while and my guts were both grumbling with hunger and with the foul flavour of the bile bubbling within. I felt the world's smallest guff approach its exit point, and squeezed it out. About 30 seconds passed before this individual pip was transported up into the superspinning fan above and came down like gassid rain on the viewers of the band around me. Again, i was shaking subtly with laughter at what was bound to happen, before creasing up when my friend's girlfriend released an almighty EURGH, declaring myself guilty in doing so. I had about another hour in that little glass box with a gang i would never be a member of then, the piercing looks of evil and revenge painted on the faces of those i sometimes accidentally noticed when i dared to turn around at any point from thereon.

I think on both occasions i created aromas that people couldn't quite name or were sure from whence they came, but knew they should be nowhere near and would begin to punch their own faces in if they stayed within nose-shot for another minute more.

 

[Deleted member 18477]

Been farting all night. Just took a massive dump. Satisfying.