[Misc] wife away - house tidying

[BrightonCottager]

At home, my wife is a bit (!) obsessed with the draining board (one of those stone things) being dry and the sink being clean. I get a regular bollocking about it. Yet for 2 weeks away on holiday she wasn't bothered. My advice is that if your Mrs has a similar obsession, see to it before her return.

 

[Swansman]

Only good solution is to text all your friends if you can stay with them for a week or two, head over there, turn off the phone and lay low until things have sorted themselves one way or another.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

I forgot make sure your wife's knickers you've been wearing are washed and back in the drawer.

 

[BNthree]

My house has always been tidier when they other half is away. Contrary to popular belief, I think women are generally messier than men. The lack of logical thinking results in lots of piles of things on once clear surfaces and items left where they fell.

Certainly the case in my household. The longer the mrs is away the tidier the house becomes.

 

[A1X]

 

[Barham's tash]

If she utters the words “it’s fine” when she gets through the door I’d file the papers and tell your kids you love them.

 

[Normal Rob]

Right, I've emptied the dishwasher and refilled it with the dirty crockery and put it on. I've cleared down the cooker top and wiped the kitchen surfaces. I've put the beer and wine bottles in the recycling. I've also cleaned the shit of the back of the bog bowl. Job done i reckon.

 

[highflyer]

I've cleared down the cooker top and wiped the kitchen surfaces

You've just made it smeary.

It'll have to be done again.

Oh never mind. I'll do it myself.
Sigh.

 

[Bodian]

Really? I know where I leave things, my wife tidies them away and sticks them in drawers, cupboards or wherever. When I can’t find something she will deny hiding it. We have had so many arguments about this over the years! I KNOW where I leave things (except car keys and my phone of course) so if they aren’t there I know she has moved them!

Oh yes! - the exact same here.

Is Mrs Icy also partial to deciding that something which has been to hand in the same drawer/cupboard/place for 15 years would suddenly be better in a totally different place - leading to me going round and round the house looking for it. Thereby turning a one-minute job into a good ten minutes or more before I finally find it (and replace it where it should have been!).

 

[Icy Gull]

Oh yes! - the exact same here.

Is Mrs Icy also partial to deciding that something which has been to hand in the same drawer/cupboard/place for 15 years would suddenly be better in a totally different place - leading to me going round and round the house looking for it. Thereby turning a one-minute job into a good ten minutes or more before I finally find it (and replace it where it should have been!).

Not quite but the problem arises when I have emptied the dishwasher with my mind elsewhere (it’s hardly an interesting job) and I put something in the wrong place and SHE then can’t find it, you’d think I shat in the sink

 

[Gabbafella]

"dont worry too much"... because no matter what you do, it wont be up to standard.

This is definitely correct.
I've learnt recently that I've been making the bed wrong for around 40 years. Who knew?

 

[luge]

I spent an entire day cleaning the kitchen and the kids room yesterday as well as constructing shelving in teh garage.The place was a shit tip because we had about 3 play dates in a row during the summer holiday to store up favours.

It was nice and clean after 6 hours work. 15 minute later my 2 year old had pissed on the floor, cotton wool somehow managed to become entwined with the carpet and about 100 little plastic googly eyes were strewn from the kitchen through to the lounge thanks to my 5 year old. and then the cat threw up.

However -at least it was easier to clean up than normal.

In short, it's life. You cant control everything. You have two small kids.

 

[luge]

My house has always been tidier when they other half is away. Contrary to popular belief, I think women are generally messier than men. The lack of logical thinking results in lots of piles of things on once clear surfaces and items left where they fell.

This is true. We have regular rows about it. My wife hates the way i store things, but she NEVER stores things at all. She places things to sort out at a later date. I get the blame for all the mess, when very little of it is me.

 

[dazzer6666]

My house has always been tidier when they other half is away. Contrary to popular belief, I think women are generally messier than men. The lack of logical thinking results in lots of piles of things on once clear surfaces and items left where they fell.

Exactly this. When I cook, I put things in the dishwasher as I go along…..when I eat, I put the dishes in there straight away. She seems to think piling them up on the worktop (immediately above the dishwasher ) or leaving pots on the cooker all to be sorted out later is better….and then moans about having to tidy up the kitchen after a meal

 

[luge]

Just out of interest, you were planning on cleaning the **** tissues at least?

 

[kentgully]

Lastminute.com

 

[Super Steve Earle]

Ok, my wife has been away for 4 days with our eldest daughter, leaving me at home with the 2 little ones. Over a text message exchange this morning i mentioned having to tidy the house before she returns tomorrow, especially as we have guests arriving in the evening for a couple of nights.

I explained that the house was ok (ish) but that I would need to run around for some time today making it right, to which she replied...


"OK, don't worry too much"


Have these words ever, EVER, been true I've learnt from painful experience that acting on these words may be a big mistake...

No, no, no. Don't believe her, it's a trap. However tidy it is, it won't meet her standards of not worrying too much. Yours will be very different. Hoover, do all washing up, clean the kitchen work surfaces, put most things away and tidy up the kids rooms, otherwise it will be 'I've only been away a few days and it looks like a bomb's hit it'. Oh, and and quick swirl of the toilet brush shows willing.

 

[timbha]

Exactly this. When I cook, I put things in the dishwasher as I go along…..when I eat, I put the dishes in there straight away. She seems to think piling them up on the worktop (immediately above the dishwasher ) or leaving pots on the cooker all to be sorted out later is better….and then moans about having to tidy up the kitchen after a meal

Similarly, if I make a cup of coffee I get the milk out of the fridge, pour some in the cups and then put the milk back in the fridge. She does the same but leaves the milk on the breakfast bar.

 

[B-right-on]

This is definitely correct.
I've learnt recently that I've been making the bed wrong for around 40 years. Who knew?

Mrs G.

But as she only mentioned it 14,600 times (once a day, every day for 40 years) that doesn't really count

 

[nickjhs]

yeah i can understand that. On a similar note never, ever, wash the bedsheets just before the wife comes back from having been away

So good to know I am not alone when it comes the the boss thinking she is Miss Marple. I used to get quite upset, now I just say yep the orgy was magnificent. In case you are wondering, nope it doesn't help the situation