Why can't woman just pay for stuff and f*** off?

[Hockley Blues]

quality
Its the twats at cashpoints that fu$k me right off

True dat. How long does it take to BOSH in four numbers, CHOOSE the amount and PLACE it in your pocket. It ain't rocket science.

And don't get me started on the MUGS that draw out just a tenner

 

[Bry Nylon]

I used to run a shop, you need some people with the right change or you come to a grinding halt.

No room for being reasonable in this thread I'm afraid, Douglas.
This is RANT time

 

[csider]

I used to run a shop, you need some people with the right change or you come to a grinding halt.

Fair enough, but when was the last time you were told at Saino's by a checkout assistant 'have you the right change Sir, I'm down to my last thousand pound in change?'

 

[Mackenzie]

Right, I've just come back from my local shop. It has two tills, which for a small village would seem perfectly adaquate. And to be fair, usually is.

Except this afternoon, when all I wanted was a pint of semi-skimmed, I experienced the "Costcutter" equivilant of A Perfect Storm. At one till was an old biddy spilling all her small change on the counter to find EXACTLY the right combination of coins to settle a bill of just over £4 - even though she had a wad of perfectly acceptable fivers in her other hand. Now, in my book that's just f***ing RUDE!

Meanwhile, over at the other till was a middle aged woman who's bill was something like £12:42, or whatever. BUT instead of just handing over fifteen quid and simply pocketing the change - yes, you've already guessed - she uttered the dreaded words, "Oh, I've got the 42 somewhere", before spending an age scrummaging about for 2x20p and 1x2p it in the bottom of her f***ing purse.

Meanwhile, the queue for both tills stretches back to somewhere in the dairy aisle

This is actually a very interesting social observation, and somthing that I have witnessed for many years. The trick is when you are approaching the tills (at a supermarket, larger shop ESPECIALLY IKEA) do a quick scan of who is there and follow these simple rules if you want a quick getaway:

1. If a till has nobody waiting at it use this one if not...
2. Use a till with only one male waiting if not...
3. Two men...
4. Three men...
5. One woman with, and this is vital, her purse in her HAND...
etc

Never attempt to wait in a queue which contains any of the following.
a. The elderly (probably 60+)
b. Woman with children
c. Drunken man with hygine problem

and finally avoid at all costs

d. Elderly woman with one of those pull around shopping carts. She is guarenteed to try to pay in coppers and tokens from the back of cat biscuit box.

 

[NMH]

Chaps, I'm getting mullered!!

Did you SAY anything man??

I mean the polite thing to do, for the line of customers waiting (and growing), is "get a f***ing move you silly bitch, the WORLD has to stop while you count out correct CHANGE for f***'s SAKE"

Wimmins appreciate and RESPECK when a geezer tells 'em straight.

(silly cows)

 

[Barrel of Fun]

The worst for me is in KFC...

KFC?

I dare not think where they get their 'chicken' from or what they do to it. I was the closest house to KFC during my spell in Oxford and it was not nice smelling the Colonel every morning and it was not nice to see the amount of rats they had binging on the leftovers of their infestuous shite that they produced. Kebab King all day long

 

[skipper734]

a. The elderly (probably 60+)

Oi mind yer language! Before you get to the till though, you have to get round the supermarket, avoiding the groups of people of all ages having social or committee meetings in the middle of the isles. The people with already £1000 worth of shopping in their trolley ,staring up into space for divine inspiration, or parhaps they have nodded off.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Did you SAY anything man??

No, of course I didnt! I'm British, and suffering queues in silence is in our genetic make-up.

So I just huffed and puffed and when I finally got to the till simply slapped down the right money and f***ed off.

What is it about the phrase CONVENIENCE SHOP that women just don't get?

 

[Spider]

Fair enough, but when was the last time you were told at Saino's by a checkout assistant 'have you the right change Sir, I'm down to my last thousand pound in change?'

Exactly! Running out of change is pretty unforgiveable to be honest. All you need to do is work out how much change you get through a day and regularly keep enough to last. I don't mind using change if I have it, but people behind tills getting annoyed when you don't have change isn't really on. If you want my money, at least have some change for me.

 

[csider]

Ban women from supermarkets............f***ing time wasters.

Wellbeing........menstrual freaks!! Even spell that with MEN

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

i go in, get the stuff i need, get my money together BEFORE i get to the check out, pay, f*** off

what part of this process do women not understand? you KNOW you have to pay, you know ROUGHLY how much its gonna be, so why can't you PREPARE for this?!

 

[Lush]

The reason men don't offer change is because they never have any, because they take it all out of their pockets every night and put it in an over-sized whisky bottle or other container which they keep by their beds. FACT.

 

[Gary Leeds]

women, keep the following in the coin section of your purse

1 x £2 coin
2 x £1 coin
1 x 50p
1 x 20p
2 x 10p
1 x 5p
2 x 2p
1 x 1p

From just those 11 coins you can make any value from 1p to £5

Any other change you should put in a jar so your man can use it to go to the pub with

 

[Arthur]

Chaps, I'm getting mullered!!

I'm with you buddy! I had a woman in front of me in Tescos this evening who took an age for no other reason than lacking the ability to work her purse.

Also women at cash points, why are they incapable of using them? If you are in a queue for the cash point do you not think it's sensible to go in to you bag, fetch your purse and get your cash card out ready for when you get to the front of the queue not wait until you f***ing get there. Then why do you need to check your balance EVER single f***ing use? Then finally we have to go through the rigmarole of waiting for you to put every thing away back in your purse and then bag IN FRONT OF THE f***ing MACHINE!! Why not take your money and f*** off out the way so someone else can use the machine.

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

its so refreshing to open a thread that aint adams out/in...we were shit, no we weren't..........

i do my bit, the other day at sainsbo's i had a months shoppin in me trolley....anyhoo, behind me was some poor old duchess with a pint of milk.
i turned to her and said 'is that all you got love?'
she looked at me hopefully and replied 'yes sonny'

''best you f*** off then doris, im gonna be fuckin ages you old trout' was my next statement

 

[clapham_gull]

Interesting thread.

I've noticed something that women do at tills (and cashpoints)

Men tend to have their card or cash ready, pay and then put everything back in their wallet/bag as they are walking away.

Women however will wait in front of the till and put their change.card back into their wallet, then the wallet back into their handbag, then the handbag over the shoulder THEN walk away.

I've even see women take the moment in front of the till to do their coat up.

I've observed this for years and it almost always happens.

It's very strange.

Their is a related thing that women do when leaving a tube station when it's raining. They stop at the entrance, find the umbrella - put it up, then walk out.

Men will be preparing that umbrella as they are walking out, and won't physically stop to put it up.

 

[essbee]

Bry

It wasn't the Co-op in Patcham was it?

If they went any slower in there - they'd be a miracle of physics- the
first people to go back in time!

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Fair enough, but when was the last time you were told at Saino's by a checkout assistant 'have you the right change Sir, I'm down to my last thousand pound in change?'

Asking for the right change happens occasionally in a supermarket because no 1p or 2p coins have been sent by the cash delivery company and are thus reliant on customers to give the exact money. Women who fart about with their purse and handbag after paying give the checkout operator a short breather before serving the next customer.

 

[The Large One]

women, keep the following in the coin section of your purse

1 x £2 coin
2 x £1 coin
1 x 50p
1 x 20p
2 x 10p
1 x 5p
2 x 2p
1 x 1p

From just those 11 coins you can make any value from 1p to £5

f***, he's right, ya know. Good work.

By your name, I assume you're a fan of the Walker Brothers?

 

[Taybha]

Bet when the lovely ladies suffer a smelly tuppence they dont take a age rummaging around for £4.35 for their tube of vagisil out comes the £5 keep the change Bye