Whores.

[Mr Cleansheets]

Is Browns still going in London? I was there on a stag do one night (about the third place we'd been so I was well on the way) and was amused by the novelty of totally naked girls walking up to me with pint glasses we were supposed to fill with change. This was 1998 and the standard contribution was supposed to be a pound(ish) but at one point when holding a pint in one hand, I pulled out a handful of change and accidentally dropped about eight pounds into the glass (serious money in those days!).

So, I determined the next stripper was only getting a penny. At the relevant time I tried to hide my contribution behind my fingers, but the look of contempt on her face suggested I'd been tumbled.

Ripping off strippers in Browns...one of my high points.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I didn't know West Street was considered bad

When I was at school, the 'joke' was, Why is West Street like a rowing boat?

 

[Thunder Bolt]

During my stocktaking days I stopped to ask a lady the way to the County Hotel in Walsall which she told me but 30 secs later I was pulled over by a car that was West Midlands Vice. They asked what I was doing and I explained but one officer stayed with me while the other went off to speak to her. He came back and said it was ok as she confirmed my story but was apparently on the game and I wondered had she said that I had asked her what she was doing or anything such I would have been nicked. I must add this was late 70s pre sat nav days.

Your dates are well out.

Kerb crawling. It is illegal for a person to solicit prostitutes from a motor vehicle while on a street or public place under Section 1 of the Sexual Offences Act 1985.

 

[Triggaaar]

When I was at school, the 'joke' was, Why is West Street like a rowing boat?

Is there a punchline?

Your dates are well out.

Kerb crawling. It is illegal for a person to solicit prostitutes from a motor vehicle while on a street or public place under Section 1 of the Sexual Offences Act 1985.

Mmm, dates out, or story made up.

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Is there a punchline?

Mmm, dates out, or story made up.

There are oars (whores) on either side. It was only a school kids joke.

 

[Pavilionaire]

I have a friend from Hove who had something very similar happen in Prague. Except the final offer was for regular midget sex, rather than pissing. My friend stopped at that point and said he was only interested if he could have a threesome with two midgets. The pump paused for a while, had a think and then said he could do that.

Why did he have to stop to think? You've either got two midgets on the books or you don't!

Maybe Elf and Safety reasons?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

That's not true.

I'm pretty sure we managed to move the calzone just before impact, although that did mean you headbutted the table instead.

You're right. It was a myth perpetrated by JR that eventually, via 'false memory syndrom' has embedded in my head as 'fact'. I did very certainly sweat so heavily that my spectacles filled up on the inside, though. All sorted by a massive dump, followed a few hours later by a greasy burger under the supervision of AF

 

[cheshunt seagull]

My closest encounter with professionals was in Summer 1978. My 19 year-old self and a mate were nearing the end of a crawl around bars in the harbour area of Baltimore. 2 very naïve souls only relatively recently released from boarding school. Our last ill-judge selection was called the ‘Tic Toc Club’. The only people inside the ill-lit establishment were 3 or 4 scantily clad women taking turns to cavort half- heartedly to ‘Miss You’ on a tiny podium. Their attempts to interest us in their services were equally half-hearted and they soon realized that we would never be customers. They seemed intrigued by us and in the absence of any other business opportunities they chatted to us very for the hour before closing asking a lot of questions about England etc. I am pretty sure that the Edie Sedgwick look-alike I talked to for most of the time had not actually been baptised ‘Sugar’ but for months afterwards I fantasised about returning to save her and take her back to a life of domestic bliss in Seven Dials (introduce her to my Albion mates in the pub etc. she would have looked great in a blue and wife scarf ). Of course I never did.

I returned to Baltimore 10 years later and the ‘Tic Toc Club’ had surprisingly survived the massive harbour re-development. My wife didn’t seem keen on me going in and asking after Sugar.

 

[lawros left foot]

When I was in Fremantle, a young lady, in the first pub outside the dockyard gate, was taking on all comers (!!!) . One of the lads off the ship was acting as her pimp, and told me the following day that her score had been 27 for the day , and he had had 3 goes. I don't know if this fits the criteria of the thread cos she wasn't charging.

 

[DerekZoolander]

Last time in Cologne, went to Pasha (seven floors of whores), brassing isn't my thing but you can pay like 20 euros or something like that and just sit in the bars drinking. Sitting in the bar with a mate, probably about midnight, to see some bloke be led out of a curtain with one of those dog gimp masks on, stark bollock naked with a lead round his knob being walked around the room.

Someone who was partaking in the women, went up to the top floor, which also happens to be the transvestite floor. Got out just in time before anything happened.

 

[SK1NT]

Summer 2000 - After a very drunken night out in Brighton we decided to drop a mate of ours (who never ended up with a girl after a night out) at a whore house. To this day I have no idea how we found out it was a whore house, however the address is etched in my mind 56 Atlingworth Street, near the Sea Life centre off Marine Parade)

We took our mates debit card and cashed out £50. We dropped him off and about 4/5 of us waited in this van. We sat there laughing (we were 18/19yrs old) waiting for our mate to come out. After about 20 minutes he appeared at the front door and started walking back to the van. We sat there with baited, with lots of questions 'what happened? was she good? what did she look like?' our friend then proceeded to speak in a whiny voice saying "she didn't love me". We didn't care about that we knew all this, we said, we just want to know what happened. He went on to say that all they did was talk. We had just spent £50 and all he did was talk to her about how he’s never had a girlfriend and that no one loves him. That was £50 that we would never get back.

Just to add on our way home in the van that night our designated driver was drunk off his face and we only discovered this as he continued to chuck up all over himself (and It stunk) the contents of his late night ‘Buddies’ breakfast.

 

[Spanish Seagulls]

Is Whore Story the adult version of Toy Story, about Andy's mum and her toys, who also happened to be called Woody and Buzz?

This is why I still bother with NSC, there is an occasional gem, this isn't actually one of them but you get my drift.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

I've never been to Plymouth. But that's useful info should i ever go.

Thanks

Trust me, that is NOT useful info!

 

[Whitechapel]

This is why I still bother with NSC, there is an occasional gem.

this isn't actually one of them but you get my drift.

 

[dazzer6666]

Is Browns still going in London? I was there on a stag do one night (about the third place we'd been so I was well on the way) and was amused by the novelty of totally naked girls walking up to me with pint glasses we were supposed to fill with change. This was 1998 and the standard contribution was supposed to be a pound(ish) but at one point when holding a pint in one hand, I pulled out a handful of change and accidentally dropped about eight pounds into the glass (serious money in those days!).

So, I determined the next stripper was only getting a penny. At the relevant time I tried to hide my contribution behind my fingers, but the look of contempt on her face suggested I'd been tumbled.

Ripping off strippers in Browns...one of my high points.

If your high point is paying £8.01 for something that ordinarily costs £2, I'd hate to hear about your low points [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

And yes, it is still there.

Apparently.

 

[Nigella's Cream Pie]

Mutley is where all the old dogs hang out.

 

[el punal]

No.
A lot of the original bars and clubs have long gone.
I went out with 2 mates who have lived in Plymouth for a long time, one is an ex matelot and they spoke of Diamond Lil's with much affection and the other clubs in that era.
Union Street has two halves, one is not too bad with modern bars/nightclubs, the other is an awful run down place where you take your life in your own hands. I cringe when I drive or walk down there, it's a disgrace, much worse than West Street.

A couple of stories I heard when I did my "session" in Diamond Lil's :

Firstly, the main bouncer was a bloke known to all as Mad Mick. Legend has it that he'd actually got thrown out of the Royal Marines for being too violent! Apparently he was arrested by the MPs/Naval Provost for being a naughty boy and chucked in the cell. The problem was it took five, maybe more, blokes to arrest him. Three of them ended up in hospital. So after his court martial he got the job at Lil's. His reputation preceded him and he could stop any potential ruck with just a look - and that was menacing enough.

Secondly, a story I was told by the manager of Diamond Lil's, who was an ex-Petty Officer, and definitely someone you did not want to get on the wrong side of. The tale concerned a "meeting" between the Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders, who were down on exercise on Dartmoor, and the Marines. The story goes that the Jocks took over Union Street and essentially offered the Marines out. The following night battle lines were drawn. Forty Jocks on one side of Union Street and forty Marines on the other. Let battle commence - and it did. Within a few minutes forty prone bodies were laid in a neat line side by side.

Result : Royal Marines 1 Argyle and Sutherland Highlanders 0.

Now all of this could be complete bollocks, but hey ho I reckon there's an element of truth there somewhere.

 

[daveinprague]

Scottish soldiers has reminded me of Christmas 1974 in Singapore
On Christmas eve, five off us headed towards Singapore City from Sembawang. Decided on the way to stop at the English pub/restaurant in Nee Soon famed for its Lobster. Opened the door, and was confronted with a brawl between 15-20 Borderers, and a similar number of Maori's. We closed the door quietly, and headed for taxi. On the way, we passed some stairs going up to where loud music was coming from. We thought, maybe a drink before we go, I go up to check, and a girl in the traditional split dress met me at the top of the stairs. I turned, and said, forget it, its a brothel, wait till later, and started walking down the stairs. She shouts NO... no brothel, Christmas party. Come.
We troop in, and there is a food buffet virtually surrounding the room. A bloke from NZ, and maybe 15 women. There were 5 of us. Asked if I could use the toilet, and when I shut the toilet door, it had a door size picture of a vagina. What a night. A hookers Xmas party!!!

 

[JC Footy Genius]

Lightweight. Numrous members of this NSC spent a couple of days in Amsterdam some years ago and.....

I fell asleep in my calzone.

I'm saying nothing else about anything else.

Admire your reticence but I would appreciate you breaking your silence to answer one question. Did you also experience a delightful local custom where every crossing of a bridge in that district triggered an approach from at least one dubious looking character offering a range of pharmaceutical/mood enhancing products?

Netherlands probably my favourite European country btw. (Not a long list obviously)

 

[Miximate]

On a golf trip to the Algarve we asked the starter to recommend some bars. He suggested this place in Vilamoura that was 'fun' so that evening we trooped in after a boozy dinner. The place was quite smart but virtually empty, but within a couple of minutes of us turning up about 20 girls appeared, of various nationalities, a couple started 'dancing' on stage and they were generally chatting to us.

Became pretty obvious what kind of place it was, and one of our group very quickly made his excuses and left. The rest of us stayed and had a decent laugh without partaking, apart from two. The first was a single guy who took said he fancied trying it out but it took him ages to pluck up the courage.

Anyway, we eventually call it a night and head back to the hotel, only to find one of the older guys in our group sat on a bench in the hotel grounds, dressed but clearly with his pjs on under his clothes. Turns out his room-mate had turfed him out for a while as he'd purchased a bit of company.

Not long later, the room-mate comes down in a proper panic/rage asking if we can help him as he thinks the girl has stolen his passport. We go up to the room and he's turned it upside down looking for it - literally in the case of the beds. Only after we've spent ages telling him how he's going to have trouble explaining this to the consulate and his wife with him in a colossal panic does his room-mate reach into his pocket, pull the passport out and say 'you gave it to me for safekeeping when you kicked me out'.

If my recent memory serves me correctly, the name of that establishment is 'Cats'.

That's all I have to say on the matter