Who the f*** made in law that on the train...

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Then there's the people that eat and drink on trains. How do they make so much noise?

These big Corninsh Pasties they sell at London Bridge are possibly the tastiest treat known to commuting man. Unfortunately they're also the smelliest. Don't stop some people stinking out a whole carriage tho.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

But the commuting niggles start very early in the day. For reasons that would probably benefit from a spot of psycho-analysis I have grown to hate the Argus Lite seller and her cheery good morning. Just stick 'em in a box and go away why doncha.

 

[Monkey Man]

Any journey involving Thameslink or London Bridge station tends to involve delays, disasters, unpleasant people, standing room only or an uncomfortable seat in a train that's too hot or too cold or too noisy.

Gatwick Express is pretty good except for the fact there are meaningless announcements in 14 languages that continue almost non stop for the entire 30 min journey.

Southern is fine except for the lack of legroom. Perhaps they should donate some of the carriages to a miniature railway.

 

[British Bulldog]

My Top Six Commuting Hates

1 Fat people who make no effort to stick to one seat, squashing their sweaty blubber into me and my space with no apology or acknowledgement.

2 Gormless, inane, never-ending mobile phone conversations that go on and on and on and on about NOTHING.

3 iPods and other music players tuned precisely to that annoying level where the noise pisses you off but it's not quite possible to hear the music 'properly'.

4 Men whose balls are so unfeasibly huge and engorged that they have to spread their legs into near-gymnastic splits, so we can all marvel at their incredible virility. These people are undoubtedly wearing suits and reading a broadsheet.

5 People who sit in the outer seat of a two-seater and pretend to go to sleep. Also people who put their bag onto the seat next to them and pretend to go to sleep. These people believe they have a God-given right to two seats, and look witheringly at you like you've just asked them to cut the lawn using nail scissors or something equally unbelieveably unfair and unreasonable when you politely ask if you can sit down.

6 People reading the Da Vinci Code.

Blimey you think that's bad! You wanna try & work on the Railway!

Train's to keep on time! Passenger's to keep happy!

It's no wonder I drive everywhere!

 

[Deleted User X18H]

But the commuting niggles start very early in the day. For reasons that would probably benefit from a spot of psycho-analysis I have grown to hate the Argus Lite seller and her cheery good morning. Just stick 'em in a box and go away why doncha.

yeah but the orangy 45 ish brunette on the Clearmont Road side is quite a treacle

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

yeah but the orangy 45 ish brunette on the Clearmont Road side is quite a treacle

Only if you're into Lea from Big Brother

 

[Gully]

I got on an almost totally full train at York to go back to Edinburgh, after watching an Albion game, with fish and chips, you should have seen the jealous looks from all those sat around us. One woman who had been to France even offered some of her duty frees for a few chips, an offer which was politely declined.

 

[Tricky Dicky]

.... and another thing, people who bite their nails all the time. Bloody horrible. If I didn't have my MP3 with me, I think I'd have gone postal with an AK47 by now.

 

[Brighton till i die]

f*** me sideways.......funniest thing last night.

This middle age posh woman was reading her paper, clearly a little irritated at how busy the train was...anyway....this rough looking geezer got off after the first stop and his rucksack smacked her right in the shoulder (i nearly pissed myself but was just able to contain it)....he spun round on the attack to have a go at him but he wandered off without a care in the world....

this is the best bit.....as she was still shaking her head in annoyance, this old lady waddled past and accidently ran her shopping trolley thing right over this already pissed off womans foot!!!! i had to hide inside my paper while i laughed my tits off!!

classic!

 

[Barrel of Fun]

As a regular commuter between Glynde and Moulsecoomb, I get pissed off by ANY ticket inspection.

There are no barriers at either station - and no staff or ticket machine or even a permit to travel machine at Glynde. So getting on the train in the morning is free.

There's a permit to travel machine at Moulsecoomb that I always feed 10 pence to in the afternoon.

Any ticket inspection pushes my daily travel costs up from 10p to three and a half quid.

OUTRAGEOUS.
Or at least mildly irritating.

Lord B, this admission will come back to bite you when you seize power at the LDC elections. I can just see the slur and hate campaign by the likes of De Villain et al.

 

[Da Man Clay]

f*** me sideways.......funniest thing last night.

This middle age posh woman was reading her paper, clearly a little irritated at how busy the train was...anyway....this rough looking geezer got off after the first stop and his rucksag smacked her right in the shoulder (i nearly pissed myself but was just able to contain it)....he spun round on the attack to have a go at him but he wandered off without a care in the world....

this is the best bit.....as she was still shaking her head in annoyance, this old lady waddled past and accidently ran her shopping trolley thing right over this already pissed off womans foot!!!! i had to hide inside my paper while i laughed my tits off!!

classic!

Brilliant

 

[Monkey Man]

Brilliant

Not quite with you. Is it brilliant because she was posh? Or because she was irritated how busy the train was (as I often am?) I love a bit of slapstick but ... hmm ...

 

[Brighton till i die]

Not quite with you. Is it brilliant because she was posh? Or because she was irritated how busy the train was (as I often am?) I love a bit of slapstick but ... hmm ...

 

[Brighton till i die]

.... and another thing, people who bite their nails all the time. Bloody horrible. If I didn't have my MP3 with me, I think I'd have gone postal with an AK47 by now.

if i get bored i do like to bite my nails and flick them at the annoying people!!

 

[Dave the OAP]

Dont sit by us on the 7:16 from portslade to LB then.

we chat about all things footy, Big Brother, films, births of children, the brighton festival and one of our crew gets on at Hove and then the conversation starts again!

On the way home 5:32, we occasionally drink, arrange nights out together and lots of things.


I agree about people sniffing...there was this bloke who looked like harry potter who sniffed all the way up...dirty bastard. Rusco was going to deck him one.

My pet hate is THE FECKING WANKERS WHO TAP THEIR LAP TOPS INCESSANTLY on trains. Billy big bollocks's also annoy me, but these new trains, you just put the arm rest down and then play elbows with whoever is sat next to you...that is fun.


I am rteading Schindler's Ark BTW, not HP or the DVC

 

[Edward Scissorhands]

Twat sat opposite me today just kept on coughing. Once every 30 seconds - without putting his hand over his mouth.

So I've probably got all his germs

 

[Big G]

Complain to the Fat Contoller..............I would.

 

[pasty]

Then there's the people that eat and drink on trains. How do they make so much noise?

I had an eater sat next to me today with an egg sandwich of all bloody things!!!!

I just sat there picking my nose and examining what I could find up there

 

[Lander]

So glad i don't use trains!

f***ing hillarious reading this thread

 

[countrygull]

So glad i don't use trains!

f***ing hillarious reading this thread




I agree - a great thread. We could have a new TV progrramme out of this - Grumpy Old Brighton Fans!