[Misc] Who miss their Mum ?

[Cotton Socks]

It's my mum's funeral tomorrow. At this present moment I should be doing 'practical' things like take down the tree & tidy up. I'm still in my dressing gown. My energy has just disappeared overnight. Normally at this point I'd phone my mum, have a ramble to her and feel better after. Now I'm sat here with one eye on the clock knowing I've got 4 hours to sort out all the music for her party in 3 weeks, as well as the tree, before cooking dinner. I know the end of the conversation would be her asking if I felt better before her saying 'now just get on with it'. My brain is just not engaging & everything suddenly feels like a mammoth task to complete. I suppose things are starting to seem 'real' after spending the last 4 weeks being totally practical & 'normal' but now is really not the time to have a meltdown.
One member of my family is being a complete nause & making it all about them, I just know they're going to be dramatic tomorrow & usually I'd diffuse the situation. I can't be bothered though, if they want to make themselves look like a total selfish twat, then for once, I'm going to let them do it. I've already tried explaining things to them, they're just doing it to be awkward.

 

[Perfidious Albion]

Sorry Cotton Socks. I feel for you man
This thread is so true. My mother died back in the 80s and I still miss her loads. You think of all the times I should have visited (although we were close) You can’t help feeling guilty. I wish I had done more for her - my life was a mess at the time .
If only….

 

[Insel affe]

No, No I don’t
She ran off with another man when I was six months old, she took the dog though
I only found out she died in 2021 via a Facebook post I saw early this year.

oh how I yearned for a mother’s unconditional love when I was younger, I envy you all.
probably explains my attachment issues, and love of the Smiths.

 

[pearl]

No, No I don’t
She ran off with another man when I was six months old, she took the dog though
I only found out she died in 2021 via a Facebook post I saw early this year.

oh how I yearned for a mother’s unconditional love when I was younger, I envy you all.
probably explains my attachment issues, and love of






You have spent your whole life missing a mum then :0(

 

[Goldstone1976]

Three weeks today it’ll be 10 years since my father died.

Mum was 90 on Boxing Day just passed, and lives in a separate flat at our place. Her mobility is pretty poor, but she still has most of her marbles. She became a STH at the Albion shortly after Dad died, and loves going - though she loathes getting her hair wet if it rains

 

[Insel affe]

@pearl

When I was younger, being thrown from father, auntie, gran, foster home and back yeah.

But Nah not really, I found her when I was 23 and met her and a half sister for a few hours.
i asked her several things, one of which was why did you not try and find me, her reply made me realise, she’s not a good person and from that point on I moved on, I didn't need her or other half brothers & sisters in my life.
we received the odd letter and that was my wife’s doing.

 

[papachris]

I lost my mum in 1995 and still think of her every day. I am a fair bit older now than she ever was but she will always be young in my memories. I lost my dad almost three years ago exactly.
I think once you have lost both your parents you are a little bit alone in the world.

 

[Normal Rob]

I lost my mum in August. For the 12 years since my father passed she had pushed people away, refused to move with the times, ignored her grandchildren. She, unknowingly, did everything possible to make her last years as hard as possible. I loved her, but I'm not sure why. She was selfish to the extreme and to the detriment of all those around her. I take heart in that I did everything I could in her last 18 months to honour her wish to stay in her home. I know she was suffering a form of depression. If I didn't understand that I could have walked away. I never did.

 

[Boys 9d]

My parents died 20 and 18 years ago and a sister 3 years ago. I think of them often, mainly remembering my happy childhood in the late 1940s and 1950s.

 

[Guinness Boy]

My mum is (*crosses fingers*) fine but I lost my dad in June. He died in France of long covid. My step mum is a vaccine sceptic and they were both unjabbed.

He loved playing and watching darts and was from the Caledonian Road in Kings Cross, so Arsenal were his team, though he only took a passing interest. I thought this morning I should call him and tell him about Luke Littler and last night’s game. Then I remembered I couldn’t. So I’m going to call my mum after lunch.

It’s funny, we’ve all kind of grown up together on NSC and I imagine a lot of us are “club sandwiches” trying to manage elderly parents and teenage / student kids at the time time. It’s tough financially and emotionally and yet I’ve read a couple of WhatsApp messages this morning that put into perspective that I’ve got it fairly easy.

 

[happypig]

My mum died on New Years Eve 2012. I popped in to see her most days but she got an infection and was taken to hospital on the 30th. We went to see her but she was delirious and they gave her something to settle her. They said she might perk up by the morning but about 11PM we got a call saying we should go down there. She passed away a couple of hours later.
She'd been quite independent until she was about 78 but had to go into a care home and was a shadow of her former self; she loved cycling (held the Sussex womens 50 mile record for several years) and would watch it whenever it was on TV.
When I tried to talk to her about GB's success at the 2012 olympics she wasn't interested; that's when I knew part of her had already gone.
My dad died when I was 5 and I never really knew him.

 

[portslade seagull]

Lost both my Dad and mother in law this year so could be aptly named Annus horribilis. Mrs PS was lost this Christmas as she normally spends Christmas eve with her mum where they exchanged presents. I used to see the old man on boxing day and talk football and missed that this year. I feel for all of you who have lost loved ones

 

[Thunder Bolt]

No, No I don’t
She ran off with another man when I was six months old, she took the dog though
I only found out she died in 2021 via a Facebook post I saw early this year.

oh how I yearned for a mother’s unconditional love when I was younger, I envy you all.
probably explains my attachment issues, and love of the Smiths.

I empathise. My mother walked out when I was 8, for another man. She got pregnant when my Dad was at sea. She went on to have three boys, and even in the last few years a person who knew her, mentioned to me, she didn’t know she had a daughter.
As she said it, she realised what she’d just said and was mortified, but I came to terms with it a long time ago.

I was brought up by an aunt but it wasn’t a happy place. I loved my Dad coming home on leave and taking me to the Goldstone & cricket (places where he wanted to go) but it was time together. Dad died in 1998 aged 78. I still miss him.

 

[upthealbion1970]

It's my mum's funeral tomorrow. At this present moment I should be doing 'practical' things like take down the tree & tidy up. I'm still in my dressing gown. My energy has just disappeared overnight. Normally at this point I'd phone my mum, have a ramble to her and feel better after. Now I'm sat here with one eye on the clock knowing I've got 4 hours to sort out all the music for her party in 3 weeks, as well as the tree, before cooking dinner. I know the end of the conversation would be her asking if I felt better before her saying 'now just get on with it'. My brain is just not engaging & everything suddenly feels like a mammoth task to complete. I suppose things are starting to seem 'real' after spending the last 4 weeks being totally practical & 'normal' but now is really not the time to have a meltdown.
One member of my family is being a complete nause & making it all about them, I just know they're going to be dramatic tomorrow & usually I'd diffuse the situation. I can't be bothered though, if they want to make themselves look like a total selfish twat, then for once, I'm going to let them do it. I've already tried explaining things to them, they're just doing it to be awkward.

So sorry for your loss, hope your day goes aw well as it can tomorrow

It's my mum's funeral tomorrow. At this present moment I should be doing 'practical' things like take down the tree & tidy up. I'm still in my dressing gown. My energy has just disappeared overnight. Normally at this point I'd phone my mum, have a ramble to her and feel better after. Now I'm sat here with one eye on the clock knowing I've got 4 hours to sort out all the music for her party in 3 weeks, as well as the tree, before cooking dinner. I know the end of the conversation would be her asking if I felt better before her saying 'now just get on with it'. My brain is just not engaging & everything suddenly feels like a mammoth task to complete. I suppose things are starting to seem 'real' after spending the last 4 weeks being totally practical & 'normal' but now is really not the time to have a meltdown.
One member of my family is being a complete nause & making it all about them, I just know they're going to be dramatic tomorrow & usually I'd diffuse the situation. I can't be bothered though, if they want to make themselves look like a total selfish twat, then for once, I'm going to let them do it. I've already tried explaining things to them, they're just doing it to be awkward.

so sorry for your loss, hope tomorrow goes as well as it can

 

[upthealbion1970]

Lost mum 3 years ago on 23rd of this month, Mrs lost her dad 4th November last year

She’s still grieving as she was the only child and next of kin had to do everything and the funeral was 13 days before Christmas

It’s horrible watching your partner fall to pieces in front of you knowing they have to go through it

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Sorry to hear - it’s a thought time and I hope everyone gets through the day amicably.
Lost mine in March 2022 she brought me up alone until I was 12, so we were close. She had a fall in her Hove flat and I got there to look after her until paramedics arrived later in the day. Hadn’t rumbled she had Covid, which I then caught and was unable to visit in RSCH to see her for two weeks. I will never forget he joy on her face when I finally turned up. She had obviously been waiting for me as she deteriorated overnight and was out of it when I visited the following day but I chatted to her and played some messages her grandchildren had done. Got the dreaded phone call ten minutes after I got home.
Miss her very much and we still use her malapropisms - Galveston (Gaviscon), hysterectomy tablets (anti-histamines) to name two.
Hope you have as many happy memories as I have.

 

[pearl]

I lost my mum in August. For the 12 years since my father passed she had pushed people away, refused to move with the times, ignored her grandchildren. She, unknowingly, did everything possible to make her last years as hard as possible. I loved her, but I'm not sure why. She was selfish to the extreme and to the detriment of all those around her. I take heart in that I did everything I could in her last 18 months to honour her wish to stay in her home. I know she was suffering a form of depression. If I didn't understand that I could have walked away. I never did.

Oh that is so sad.

 

[Cheggers]

I can relate and empathise with all the comments on this thread. Lost my dad a long time ago, and my mum only a few years ago. I think I was numb for the first couple of years, and then the sky fell in. Only really coming to terms with it now. I'm not sure anyone really looks out for you as your mum.does. i think about them both every day.

 

[Sussexscots]

Definitely relate to the posts on here. Last year is not one I'll look back on fondly. My Mum died six days before I turned 60. Suddenly realising you're the oldest one left is....sobering.

Her last few years were challenging as she struggled with Alzheimer's. We tried to keep her in her own home as long as we could but there came a point when it simply wasn't safe. We were lucky to find her a home near to me and one of my brothers.

She was a proud, fiercely independent woman and would have hated to see herself with that awful disease. She still recognised us though; and when we visited, her face would light up with that familiar smile we knew from when we were children. I was blessed to have her and my late father as parents; from whom I received always, love and support through my life.

I've always disliked this time of year. This year it seems harder than ever.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Lost mum and dad 4 months apart 14 years ago. Both to cancer.