Uncle Spielberg
Well-known member
When they go it is never really the same again is it ? They were your biggest fan, champion, comfort and love were they not ?
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[Misc] Who miss their Mum ?
- Thread starter Uncle Spielberg
- Start date
Uncle Spielberg
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #2
She left 5 years ago now miss her every single day
- Oct 17, 2008
- 15,287
I’m very sorry for your loss, and speaking personally I‘ve never gotten over the death of my father, and I don’t know if we’re really supposed to. Losing a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and seeing my Mum physically and emotionally crumble losing her husband of 40 years has been heartbreaking.
The only advice I can give is to not try and bury your feelings, the memories, and every day when I feel sad wishing he was here to enjoy the football with me for example, I tell myself five things I am grateful for about the time we had together.
Grief counselling is also an option, an effective one in my case, but I appreciate this may not be an option for everybody.
The only advice I can give is to not try and bury your feelings, the memories, and every day when I feel sad wishing he was here to enjoy the football with me for example, I tell myself five things I am grateful for about the time we had together.
Grief counselling is also an option, an effective one in my case, but I appreciate this may not be an option for everybody.
- Apr 5, 2014
- 26,519
I know I miss my parents because they are in my dreams nearly every night. I often wake up and take time to realise that they are no longer here. If I talk to them in my dreams sometimes I finish saying 'But this isn't happening, you're dead'. I have woken up crying before. But I wouldn't want them to stop appearing so I accept it as the payback.
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Shropshire Seagull
Well-known member
My dad is 97, lives alone and is fully independent. Still drives ...
Mum, we'll she's 91 and although she still has a beating heart, to all intents and purposes, she would be better off dead. Almost 3 years ago she had a massive stroke. Its left her bed-bound, unable to speak, and total loss of her dominant right arm/hand and in a nursing home. 100% dependant for everything ...
I love my mum to bits and want her to live forever, but for the love of God, not like this. She has no life, dad visits 3 times a week and little sis twice. I get down when I can.
There is 100% no doubt that if she were the family pet, the vet would be encouraging / demanding us to have her put to sleep.
Breaks my heart
Mum, we'll she's 91 and although she still has a beating heart, to all intents and purposes, she would be better off dead. Almost 3 years ago she had a massive stroke. Its left her bed-bound, unable to speak, and total loss of her dominant right arm/hand and in a nursing home. 100% dependant for everything ...
I love my mum to bits and want her to live forever, but for the love of God, not like this. She has no life, dad visits 3 times a week and little sis twice. I get down when I can.
There is 100% no doubt that if she were the family pet, the vet would be encouraging / demanding us to have her put to sleep.
Breaks my heart
MTSeagulls
Well-known member
- Sep 18, 2019
- 985
Mum was cremated 10 years ago on the 8th of this month and Dad followed less than 3 years later.
Took me until maybe two years ago to come to terms with it but can still get randomly upset by a song or a memory.
Took me until maybe two years ago to come to terms with it but can still get randomly upset by a song or a memory.
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
I have been so, so lucky. My dad is 84, my mum is 80. They just got back from a fortnight in Lanzarote yesterday, and live together in their own little home in Lancing. Yes they are scatty and belligerent, but they are independent and still have their marbles. My mum is impossibly vain and looks after the both of them, making sure they eat well and exercise together.
Its a biological lottery they've both won, they've been married for 60+ years and live a happy and contented life together. I am more than aware just how fortunate I am to still have them in my life today, without suffering the mental decay that is so commonplace. In the back of my mind I know it could be "in the post", but for now, I just cherish the fact that they are still the parents who raised me and my beloved big sis.
My heart goes out to those who are having to cope with the drastic deterioration and/or loss of their parents. @Shropshire Seagull your post really touched me. I've not had to deal with anything like that, yet. To be honest, when either of them goes, I'm not sure how I'll cope.
Its a biological lottery they've both won, they've been married for 60+ years and live a happy and contented life together. I am more than aware just how fortunate I am to still have them in my life today, without suffering the mental decay that is so commonplace. In the back of my mind I know it could be "in the post", but for now, I just cherish the fact that they are still the parents who raised me and my beloved big sis.
My heart goes out to those who are having to cope with the drastic deterioration and/or loss of their parents. @Shropshire Seagull your post really touched me. I've not had to deal with anything like that, yet. To be honest, when either of them goes, I'm not sure how I'll cope.
The Clamp
Well-known member
Sorry to hear that US but it’s healthy to miss and remember them.
I too lost my Mum, followed very closely by my Dad and most painfully of all, my Brother. Who died suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition at age 39. He left behind a wife and 6 yr old son.
It was one of the worst years of my life. I didn’t realise it at the time but I became lost at sea. Knowing that a huge part of my family and support network were wiped out in a matter of months left me feeling very alone in this world.
I remember things about them every day and that keeps a bit of them alive and alongside me.
But yes, losing Mum was hard. I remember particularly being in Tesco, looking for ingredients for a cheese sauce. I thought, “I’ll give Mum a ring and see what I need”. Then it hit me, I couldn’t. She was no longer with us. I welled up and then burst into tears when a very sweet lady came over and asked me if I was okay. I just broke down. In front of a total stranger. In bloody Tesco’s
Much love to all
I too lost my Mum, followed very closely by my Dad and most painfully of all, my Brother. Who died suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition at age 39. He left behind a wife and 6 yr old son.
It was one of the worst years of my life. I didn’t realise it at the time but I became lost at sea. Knowing that a huge part of my family and support network were wiped out in a matter of months left me feeling very alone in this world.
I remember things about them every day and that keeps a bit of them alive and alongside me.
But yes, losing Mum was hard. I remember particularly being in Tesco, looking for ingredients for a cheese sauce. I thought, “I’ll give Mum a ring and see what I need”. Then it hit me, I couldn’t. She was no longer with us. I welled up and then burst into tears when a very sweet lady came over and asked me if I was okay. I just broke down. In front of a total stranger. In bloody Tesco’s
Much love to all
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John Byrnes Mullet
Global Circumnavigator
Mum passed after the Man City win. A complete high to an ultra low. Had 7 weeks of work to arrange funeral, finances and grieve. Feel slightly better now but still miss her everyday.
- Nov 11, 2009
- 12,404
Christmas this year was tough as it was first without my mum.
Previous Christmas we visited, and whilst my mum had parkinsons, and was a bit thin, she was her usual self and in good spirits. Couple of glasses of Prosecco etc.
After I left I spoke to her as usual a few times a week on phone, though unbeknown to me (as she said nothing) she had pretty much stopped eating. First I knew was a call from sister at end of January that mum had collapsed, had lost a lot of weight and was taken in an ambulance to Eastbourne hospital.
I was straight down there from the Midlands where I live, she was diagnosed as having late stage 4 cancer of the Esophagus that had spread to liver, from seeing her relatively normal at Christmas to this in a month (and she looked really sick now) was both harrowing and shocking.
She spent the next 3 weeks suffering and in pain, on morphine before passing on Feb 20th. It all happened so quickly and the night before she died as I was leaving hospital at 8pm she took me by hand and said "I want you to always know how much I love you, never forget it". I just thought she was being sentimental and said "be strong mum, I'll see you in the morning".
She died before I got back
I think she knew, in the car after leaving her the last time I saw her alive, I remarked to my brother candidly, that it's impossible seeing someone you love suffer like this, there is no joy that while her heart beats she is in constant pain and its a terrible conundrum, you can never not want your mum to be alive, but you also know that the shorter the suffering now the better for her.
This Christmas was empty without her, and worse is the still constant urge to call my mum, then realising you can't anymore. Don't think I will ever truly get over it.
Previous Christmas we visited, and whilst my mum had parkinsons, and was a bit thin, she was her usual self and in good spirits. Couple of glasses of Prosecco etc.
After I left I spoke to her as usual a few times a week on phone, though unbeknown to me (as she said nothing) she had pretty much stopped eating. First I knew was a call from sister at end of January that mum had collapsed, had lost a lot of weight and was taken in an ambulance to Eastbourne hospital.
I was straight down there from the Midlands where I live, she was diagnosed as having late stage 4 cancer of the Esophagus that had spread to liver, from seeing her relatively normal at Christmas to this in a month (and she looked really sick now) was both harrowing and shocking.
She spent the next 3 weeks suffering and in pain, on morphine before passing on Feb 20th. It all happened so quickly and the night before she died as I was leaving hospital at 8pm she took me by hand and said "I want you to always know how much I love you, never forget it". I just thought she was being sentimental and said "be strong mum, I'll see you in the morning".
She died before I got back
I think she knew, in the car after leaving her the last time I saw her alive, I remarked to my brother candidly, that it's impossible seeing someone you love suffer like this, there is no joy that while her heart beats she is in constant pain and its a terrible conundrum, you can never not want your mum to be alive, but you also know that the shorter the suffering now the better for her.
This Christmas was empty without her, and worse is the still constant urge to call my mum, then realising you can't anymore. Don't think I will ever truly get over it.
Sorry to hear that US but it’s healthy to miss and remember them.
I too lost my Mum, followed very closely by my Dad and most painfully of all, my Brother. Who died suddenly of an undiagnosed heart condition at age 39. He left behind a wife and 6 yr old son.
It was one of the worst years of my life. I didn’t realise it at the time but I became lost at sea. Knowing that a huge part of my family and support network were wiped out in a matter of months left me feeling very alone in this world.
I remember things about them every day and that keeps a bit of them alive and alongside me.
But yes, losing Mum was hard. I remember particularly being in Tesco, looking for ingredients for a cheese sauce. I thought, “I’ll give Mum a ring and see what I need”. Then it hit me, I couldn’t. She was no longer with us. I welled up and then burst into tears when a very sweet lady came over and asked me if I was okay. I just broke down. In front of a total stranger. In bloody Tesco’s
Much love to all
All the best to you @The Clamp.
I was told after the death of my father that i should in someway grab a little joy for him that he never lost a son/daughter which i’m told is incomprehensible
- Oct 12, 2022
- 2,850
I lost my mum quite early, just before her fiftieth birthday to cancer.
You never entirely lose the feeling of loss, but it becomes more familiar and easier to bear over time. I wish peace to everyone for whom the loss is still fresh and raw.
You never entirely lose the feeling of loss, but it becomes more familiar and easier to bear over time. I wish peace to everyone for whom the loss is still fresh and raw.
- Jan 3, 2012
- 17,460
Yesterday would have been my mother’s birthday. She died in 1970 at the age of 50 when I was 16 but still is in my thoughts every day.
My sister-in-law died late last night leaving behind now a son and a daughter who are distraught. She had been a single parent for over 50 years, having been widowed at the age 33 and dying at 83.
She’d had myeloma - horrible disease.
My sister-in-law died late last night leaving behind now a son and a daughter who are distraught. She had been a single parent for over 50 years, having been widowed at the age 33 and dying at 83.
She’d had myeloma - horrible disease.
pearl
Well-known member
I have very little family left and have lost many friends. Sometimes the loss is almost physical pain. Best wishes everyone.
I'm told grief is the price we pay for love.
I'm told grief is the price we pay for love.
aolstudios
Well-known member
Been just a year, with several lost to dementia previously.
Still cuts me to bits
Still cuts me to bits
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Since1982
Well-known member
Lost my Mum on May 19th 2022 to bowel cancer. She was a powerhouse, loved by everyone and I miss her everyday. A few weeks later my daughter in law was diagnosed with breast cancer and later in the year I was told I had blood cancer. At least Mum didn't have to deal with that news - she would have been devastated. I'd give anything for one more hug from her.
Lost my mum May 22, I miss her more than I thought I ever would, although in her last couple of years she had become quite awkward , she was very well traveled all over this planet as she was a keen rock climber even into her late 50s and very knowledgeable, I doubt a week goes past when I don’t have a dream about her.
dolphins
Well-known member
Yup. Lost her during Covid - and then both in-laws, and some friends too. My father has Parkinsons and skin cancer, and is very frail these days.
It is the small things that remind you of them all, which pop into the head at random times. As @pearl said, "grief is the price we pay for love". Very true.
It is the small things that remind you of them all, which pop into the head at random times. As @pearl said, "grief is the price we pay for love". Very true.