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Who could embezzle the most from work...?



Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,578
Playing snooker
Following on from the story of the Eastbourne woman who has disappered from work at the same time as (rumoured) £100'000 disapeared from the company coffers ----

---- who here could better that?

Not me. I have no access to cash or computerised financial stuff where I work. I'll be here for some time yet!
 








Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
57,321
Back in Sussex
Myself and Nail-z could have got away with a few billion on a recent work project. That might have been noticed. But we could have got away with a very lumpy sum and be on the lash in Brazil right now.

But we weren't hearing anything positive about their cider, so we gave it a miss.
 








Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
72,380
Bry Nylon said:
Not me. I have no access to cash or computerised financial stuff where I work. I'll be here for some time yet!

Surely you could nick the state-of-the-art volleyball gear and flog it on ebay? :lol:
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,578
Playing snooker
Re: Re: Who could embezzle the most from work...?

Tom Hark said:
Surely you could nick the state-of-the-art volleyball gear and flog it on ebay? :lol:

But then we would have nothing to do all day.... :down:

Ps
Let the record show, I only played snooker TWICE all day. (It was raining, hence no volleyball) :angry:
 
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Buzzer

Languidly Clinical
Oct 1, 2006
26,121
With the aid of a colleague, I could probably have got away with £13m from my old employers. He set the payments up and I authorised them. We sent about £13m in one payment to the Pensions Protection Fund one day.

I swore though, that the day I started thinking about it as money rather than just numbers, then I'd have my authority taken away.
 




Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,578
Playing snooker
Gully no 1 said:
where do you work BN?

Essex Fire & Rescue. If you need some gear to cut that safe open I know just the thing...:cool:
 




junior

Well-known member
Dec 1, 2003
6,633
Didsbury, Manchester
I dont realy get access to any money,but i regulaly find myself left all alone with lots and lots of GUNS,AMMUNITION,ANTI-TANK MISSILES,HAND GRENADES etc etc.

Would be easy enough to slip them into the back of my car:eek:

does this count?
 




Tesco in Disguise

Where do we go from here?
Jul 5, 2003
3,930
Wienerville
i process european government financial regeneration claims. their coffers must be in the billions of euros. i'm sure, if i was clever about it, i could help myself to a few thou. when it's public money tho, my conscience kicks in.
 




The Clown of Pevensey Bay

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
4,340
Suburbia
All the expensive gear at my place is screwed to the floor or walls.

However, I never paid for a single item of stationery during my entire educational career -- thanks to my dad, and school stock cupboards all over East Sussex.
 


Jesus Gul

Well-known member
Feb 23, 2004
5,514
I could probably get about fifteen Philipinos....but I'm not sure what their worth in the people trafficing market at the mo...anyone?
 


tedebear

Legal Alien
NSC Patron
Jul 7, 2003
17,117
In my computer
One of my first jobs was a margins clerk with Deutsche Bank, I had to make sure that we had lodged all our funds with the Reserve Bank of Australia by 4pm each day. This entailed me initally walking down George street in Sydney with anywhere between $7mill AUD and on one occasion $12mill AUD in CASH - chained to my wrist in a suitcase. Did contemplate ducking into Martin Place station and going home with it, but thought that might be a bit obvious. A few weeks after I started they were allowed to change it to bankers drafts.
 
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Bozza

You can change this
Helpful Moderator
Jul 4, 2003
57,321
Back in Sussex
tedebear said:
One of my first jobs was a margins clerk with Deutsche Bank, I had to make sure that we had lodged all our funds with the Reserve Bank of Australia by 4pm each day. This entailed me initally walking down George street in Sydney with anywhere between $7mill AUD and on one occasion $12mill AUD in CASH - chained to my wrist in a suitcase. Did contemplate ducking into Martin Place station and going home with it, but thought that might be a bit obvious. A few weeks after I started they were allowed to change it to bankers drafts.

...but AU$12m is about £2.78. As we take great delight in pointing out to our Aussie colleagues whenever the opportunity arises.
 


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