Algernon
Well-known member
I searched for a list of Internet forum personalities and found this and I think it's pretty valid.
I've left out the "all round decent sort, smashing person" option as its taken that it would obviously garner the most votes.
Which do we have most of on here?
I've edited some of the types and descriptions. No offence to anybody intended what so ever. It's just a bit of fun. Do we recognise ourselves?
No names ta.
1. The Nazi Admin/Mod/Owner
Internet forums attract all sorts of people, but generally speaking, the sort who wants to be an administrator or moderator is the type of person who craves power.
In their real lives they are probably bullied at work, hen-pecked by their wives or have an extensive collection of military memorabilia that they have set up in their bedrooms while they play Ride of the Valkyries on a loop.
2. The Prick
Speaking of pricks, every forum seems to have one.
You know the sort; the one who everyone clearly dislikes because he’s such a…well…such an objectionable prick.
He’s rude, he’s aggressive, he’s got views that most people find utterly reprehensible; essentially he’s a sociopath.
And yet he either doesn’t realise it, or he doesn’t care.
Despite how much everyone would love him never to post on the forum again, he remains there, like a fixed point in time.
3. The Guy Who’s Never Off The Forum
No matter what time of day it is, this guy is on the forum and will always reply to comments instantly, and then get a bit upset if nobody has replied to his point within 30 seconds. He’s only been a member for a year, but he’s already got 35,000 posts to his name.
4. The Guy Who Tries To Get Along With Everyone
But there’s always that one guy who never wants to ruffle any feathers. He sits on the fence the whole time and agrees with everyone about everything.
You might think that’s nice, but after a while you just think “Oh have an opinion for crying out f***ing loud!!!”
5. The Guy Who Only Posts To Tell People They Are Wrong
On a similar note there’s the guy who only posts to tell people they are wrong; usually because he’s set himself up as the resident expert, the Superfan or the guy with ‘Insider Contacts’. Ask him to expand on any points or to enter into a reasonable discussion and he won’t do it.
Probably because he can’t.
He lives only to hold the ‘I Know Something You Don’t’ card over people for all of time.
6. The Rival Fan (aka The Troll)
Usually found on Football forums, there’s always the guy who spends more time posting on the rival team’s forum/thread than anywhere else. It’s rife everywhere, whether it’s a specialised forum for a specific club
or a thread on a general football site.
Usually fans of other clubs trying in vain to ‘wind us up’.
What’s the point?
It’s not just football related though. In the off topic section of forums it’ll be full of the sort of person who feels it’s their job to come in and post about how the subject matter is shit. Especially true of Big Brother. Instead of the topics actually being about them, it’s crammed with people who need to remind others that they don’t like it and that only morons watch such things.
That’s fine mate, but my attitude is that if I’ve no interest in a subject, I’m not going to post about it online.
Trolling is something I’ve never understood.
7. The Guy Who Takes Everything Personally
You know the sort; they post an opinion, someone disagrees and then it’s ——->MELTDOWN TIME<———.
I’ll be honest and say that I’ve been annoyed/stressed by forum arguments in the past, but never to the degree where I’ll throw the toys out of the pram just because someone has dared to disagree with me.
8. The Forum Resignation Letter Flouncer Guy
Every forum has had that moment where a guy has had enough and decides to stop posting. But there’s that extra special moment – the moment to savour – where someone decides that they must announce their intention to stop posting with a heartfelt resignation letter that will bring a tear to a glass eye.
Presumably the intention is really for people to reply to the post demanding that they stay because they are too valued to leave.
But without fail, whenever someone does this, the reaction amounts to “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out you f***ing drama queen”.
Again, it’s just the internet folks, stop being so f***ing precious.
Oh, but those guys always return a week later anyway.
9. The Unofficial Technical Expert
There’s always a guy who takes up residency as the technical expert. If you’ve got a problem with any piece of kit, whether it’s a tablet or a toilet, he’s the man who has all the answers. This can happen on any forum, but my particular favourite are the ones who post on the official forums of mobile phone or electronics firms. They’ll answer questions, unpaid, at any time of the day in the hope of being offered a job.
I wonder if that’s ever worked?
10. The Guy Who Never Posts On The Subject Matter
He’s a regular poster and he’s been there for years, but does he actually contribute anything on the actual subject matter?
It’s like he’s hidden in plain sight.
Why’s he there?
Who knows.
11. The Guy Who Writes In Images, Gifs, and Memes
Guilty as charged, mostly can't be arsed to type too much.
And I'm a boring c-unit anyhow and socially inept.
12. The Resident Joker
Ah the Joker.
He’s liked by everyone and he’s able to defuse a heated debate with a witty bon mot.
Then there’s the 20 other guys who think that describes them.
But it really doesn’t.
13. The Creepy Guy
There's something not quite right about him and you can't quite put your finger on it. Not that you'd want to. Urghh dirty!
14. The Woman
Finally there’s that rarity; the one woman who shares a common interest with the guys and posts about it.
She’s instantly treated slightly differently by blokes who probably think “I might be in with a shot if we ever have a forum night out”.
It’s a long shot, but it’s as close as some might get.
15.The Statistics Guy
The one who thinks he’s an expert because he’s looked it up on Wikipedia.
I've left out the "all round decent sort, smashing person" option as its taken that it would obviously garner the most votes.
Which do we have most of on here?
I've edited some of the types and descriptions. No offence to anybody intended what so ever. It's just a bit of fun. Do we recognise ourselves?
No names ta.
1. The Nazi Admin/Mod/Owner
Internet forums attract all sorts of people, but generally speaking, the sort who wants to be an administrator or moderator is the type of person who craves power.
In their real lives they are probably bullied at work, hen-pecked by their wives or have an extensive collection of military memorabilia that they have set up in their bedrooms while they play Ride of the Valkyries on a loop.
2. The Prick
Speaking of pricks, every forum seems to have one.
You know the sort; the one who everyone clearly dislikes because he’s such a…well…such an objectionable prick.
He’s rude, he’s aggressive, he’s got views that most people find utterly reprehensible; essentially he’s a sociopath.
And yet he either doesn’t realise it, or he doesn’t care.
Despite how much everyone would love him never to post on the forum again, he remains there, like a fixed point in time.
3. The Guy Who’s Never Off The Forum
No matter what time of day it is, this guy is on the forum and will always reply to comments instantly, and then get a bit upset if nobody has replied to his point within 30 seconds. He’s only been a member for a year, but he’s already got 35,000 posts to his name.
4. The Guy Who Tries To Get Along With Everyone
But there’s always that one guy who never wants to ruffle any feathers. He sits on the fence the whole time and agrees with everyone about everything.
You might think that’s nice, but after a while you just think “Oh have an opinion for crying out f***ing loud!!!”
5. The Guy Who Only Posts To Tell People They Are Wrong
On a similar note there’s the guy who only posts to tell people they are wrong; usually because he’s set himself up as the resident expert, the Superfan or the guy with ‘Insider Contacts’. Ask him to expand on any points or to enter into a reasonable discussion and he won’t do it.
Probably because he can’t.
He lives only to hold the ‘I Know Something You Don’t’ card over people for all of time.
6. The Rival Fan (aka The Troll)
Usually found on Football forums, there’s always the guy who spends more time posting on the rival team’s forum/thread than anywhere else. It’s rife everywhere, whether it’s a specialised forum for a specific club
or a thread on a general football site.
Usually fans of other clubs trying in vain to ‘wind us up’.
What’s the point?
It’s not just football related though. In the off topic section of forums it’ll be full of the sort of person who feels it’s their job to come in and post about how the subject matter is shit. Especially true of Big Brother. Instead of the topics actually being about them, it’s crammed with people who need to remind others that they don’t like it and that only morons watch such things.
That’s fine mate, but my attitude is that if I’ve no interest in a subject, I’m not going to post about it online.
Trolling is something I’ve never understood.
7. The Guy Who Takes Everything Personally
You know the sort; they post an opinion, someone disagrees and then it’s ——->MELTDOWN TIME<———.
I’ll be honest and say that I’ve been annoyed/stressed by forum arguments in the past, but never to the degree where I’ll throw the toys out of the pram just because someone has dared to disagree with me.
8. The Forum Resignation Letter Flouncer Guy
Every forum has had that moment where a guy has had enough and decides to stop posting. But there’s that extra special moment – the moment to savour – where someone decides that they must announce their intention to stop posting with a heartfelt resignation letter that will bring a tear to a glass eye.
Presumably the intention is really for people to reply to the post demanding that they stay because they are too valued to leave.
But without fail, whenever someone does this, the reaction amounts to “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out you f***ing drama queen”.
Again, it’s just the internet folks, stop being so f***ing precious.
Oh, but those guys always return a week later anyway.
9. The Unofficial Technical Expert
There’s always a guy who takes up residency as the technical expert. If you’ve got a problem with any piece of kit, whether it’s a tablet or a toilet, he’s the man who has all the answers. This can happen on any forum, but my particular favourite are the ones who post on the official forums of mobile phone or electronics firms. They’ll answer questions, unpaid, at any time of the day in the hope of being offered a job.
I wonder if that’s ever worked?
10. The Guy Who Never Posts On The Subject Matter
He’s a regular poster and he’s been there for years, but does he actually contribute anything on the actual subject matter?
It’s like he’s hidden in plain sight.
Why’s he there?
Who knows.
11. The Guy Who Writes In Images, Gifs, and Memes
Guilty as charged, mostly can't be arsed to type too much.
And I'm a boring c-unit anyhow and socially inept.
12. The Resident Joker
Ah the Joker.
He’s liked by everyone and he’s able to defuse a heated debate with a witty bon mot.
Then there’s the 20 other guys who think that describes them.
But it really doesn’t.
13. The Creepy Guy
There's something not quite right about him and you can't quite put your finger on it. Not that you'd want to. Urghh dirty!
14. The Woman
Finally there’s that rarity; the one woman who shares a common interest with the guys and posts about it.
She’s instantly treated slightly differently by blokes who probably think “I might be in with a shot if we ever have a forum night out”.
It’s a long shot, but it’s as close as some might get.
15.The Statistics Guy
The one who thinks he’s an expert because he’s looked it up on Wikipedia.
As if, FFS. Mine's in the dining room, obvs.
