[Technology] Where is the strangest place you have taken a dump.....

[Easy 10]

I was sure you would turn up on this thread, definitely not disappointed

Its always a subject close to my heart.

 

[Yoda]

Gary Lineker once let loose on a football pitch in Italy if I recall correctly.

 

[soistes]

The away changing rooms at the Amex

 

[Insel affe]

Are you older than 10 ! Sounds like the type of post an infant school child would start .

Really, you don’t think it’s odd someone has a toilet on a landing with no cover….
You find me starting a thread about that juvenile, come on, you live by the sea, you must of had a shite by the sea….

 

[Here'sWally]

I think taking a dump anywhere is strange.

Just leave it in the toilet.

 

[pastafarian]

I think taking a dump anywhere is strange.

Just leave it in the toilet.

Exactly.
Took a dump in a Hotel kettle and never felt the need to take it to the bar, the restaurant or anywhere for that matter.
Just leave it in the bog.

Ps its not big and clever to turn the kettle on to see if it melts.

 

[clapham_gull]

Not me but someone took a dump outside my office in the 90s.

I used to run the tape library for the German version of a well known music channel. I worked for a different company that got the contract to broadcast it.

The clients came in that day with their usual box of programming (on tape back then), we went through the usual and just before they left they pointed out the human turd in the corridor outside.

This was the 90s remember. Everyone in the music industry was completely off their box trying to re-invent the 60s and a turd outside an office seemingly wasn't that unusual to them.

It later turned out this was just another act of defiance by a disgruntled employee (never identified), who was performing acts of dirty protest all over the place.

The most bizarre one involved one of those cloth based roller systems you used to dry your hands on in toilets before the hand dryers became common place.

In the small toilet (also next to my office) they had managed to break the mechanism, unravel a few metres of towel (to reach the toilet) and use that to wipe their arse on.

When a section had been soiled, they simply unravelled some more. Laid out it told a story that we are all very familiar with, but had never been told.

It began with a very much broad brush stroke. In the middle there was a complex story with twists and turns, but everything came to an end with a clear finger indent in the stiff cloth. The end, the final polish.

We stared at it laid out there and somebody remarked it reminded them of the Shroud of Turin, but with its unique narrative I'll always remember it as alternative Bayeux Tapestry painted with shit.

 

[sydney]

Whilst out jogging, I shit myself in Southwick park. I'd been a bit "loose" of late, but didn't anticipate any issues when I headed out. As I jogged down past The Ship though, that ominous gurgling began and I realised that unavoidable cack was imminent. I headed for the park, made a beeline for the largest tree, got behind it and released a prolonged pungent jet of purest stinking arse-gravy. Not having anything upon my person for the clear-up, and not fancying the wet leaves, I pulled off my jogging bottoms and sacrificed my pants to wipe my arse. During that moment, a train went slowly past having just pulled out of the station. I stoically kept my back to the carriages as the clean-up exercise continued at pace, being as a dog-walker was on the way.

I managed to get the jogging bottoms back on, kicked some leaves over my rancid pants, did a few stretches, and jogged home commando. I fear the passengers probably saw my puckered rusty sheriffs badge though.

that was my wife's brother in laws excuse when he'd come back from his morning run without his undies , until it surfaced that he'd joined the local beat at a park in Tamarrama.

didn't go down well especially as it came to light after he was removed from said park in an ambulance after being set about by 3 members of the village people ......his words not mine.

 

[Albion my Albion]

Oh, my God!!

I couldn't read 5 pages of this thread.

I really thought my dump on the side of the road while hiding next to my vehicle (right side of road in US) in the dark was terrible enough.

 

[wellquickwoody]

While on a fishing holiday in Cornwall I got the desperate urge to go while digging bait at low tide in the middle of the Gweek Estuary... I had to scramble my way over the mudflats to reach the bank and find a convenient spot amongst the vegetation

... I found myself in a tree surrounded, enclosed area holding some 40-50 canoes of the Helford Scouts....

I checked and no one was around, I was desperate by now and the only way I could think of voiding cleanly and easily was to get my trousers down and sit astride the prows of two parallel canoes with one cheek on each canoe with a drop in between as the canoes narrowed to their points.. it worked a treat, the monster Richard dropped perfectly between them and left easy access for my paperwork...I did the deed and scuttled off 2lb lighter and much relieved. I have always felt just a tad guilty though and hoped there wasn't a reggata due for a week or so.

Whilst early morning fishing one Sunday on Southwick beach not too far from Carats Cafe I was caught rather short. Too early for the public loos to be open, it was mid tide but the sea was rising so I positioned my self close to the concrete sea defences, sometimes known as the Dragons Teeth, and dropped something that would also hinder the oceans upwards progress. Once complete I kicked a pile of shingle over the offender safe in the knowledge that the tide would wash it away.

The fishing was crap so I moved onto the Shoreham East Arm for an hour to see if things would improve. No luck so by about 8am I packed up my tackle and made my way beck to the car park at Carats. As I passed the scene of crime I was horrified to see a young couple canoodling (maybe post nightclub) on pretty mush the exact spot where I had earlier crouched down. I made a hurried exit!

 

[Icy Gull]

We have all been to a friends or relatives house and asked if we can use the toilet, we might get informed the toilet is downstairs or possibly "yes top the landing turn right or left"........

Not

"Top of the landing"
"left or right at the top"

"No top of the landing"

Went to a house today, to measure for flooring and came across this on a Landing between two bedrooms.

Nah, I would rather pop to the car and shit in a bag....

There must be some other bizarre places, folks have taken a dump, other than the loo or a field.

You weren’t expecting me to be on NSC were you? When will I receive the quote?

 

[Deportivo Seagull]

Hole in the snow, in the Artic, Northern Norway at around minus 28. I didn’t hang about.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[Guinness Boy]

On a lads trip to Slovenia. We'd spent the first bit of Saturday afternoon riding Monster Rollers (basically very large scooters) down the side of the nearest mountain and into the town where we were staying, where they were obviously setting up for a festival. We handed back the vehicles and went back into town and spent the rest of the Saturday afternoon and most of the night drinking beer and eating meat.

The next day we'd planned a walk round a couple of the mountains and back into a valley and got a cable car up to the highest mountain station. We scrambled over the top of the peak to see that the route my mate had picked was on a thin shale path with no handle and a sheer 2000 metre drop. At this point my @rsehole went and so did three of my friends and we decided our walk would instead involve the much easier route we'd scootered the day before, My guts were therefore set to "rumble" but the others decided we'd have a quick coffee at the cafe that we next to the cable care station before we went down.

The caffeine started a rumbling in my guts that I've never truly experienced before or since. I urgently needed to give birth to a Douglas or it would be brown trouser time. Luckily there was a Kermit next to the cafe so in I went, along with a mate who was in similar distress. Even more luckily there were two traps.

The splashdown made a noise like Gemma Collins jumping in to a diving pool off the highboard and it smelled like a Palace fan. For extra comic effect, as it came out, I yelled "EXPELLIAMUS!"

Imagine my surprise when I emerged to find two elderly Slovenians politely queueing for the traps.

 

[Insel affe]

Hole in the snow, in the Artic, Northern Norway at around minus 28. I didn’t hang about.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

Did you have to snap it off.

 

[Hendrax]

Ok, I'll do it.

My pants.

 

[zefarelly]

Hole in the snow, in the Artic, Northern Norway at around minus 28. I didn’t hang about.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I've done a few in Norway, whilst on a cycling tour, and wild camping, bit further South, Dombas-Andlasnes and in. mid summer. We got buzzed by a pair of Saab Jets thats swooped over the lake we were camped next to on one occasion, that sped up proceedings!

 

[Insel affe]

Ok, I was in junior school St Marys in Dachet, aged I think 8, I had a bad case of Diarrhoea, so bad I had to be taken home by the only member of staff not taking lesson, yes the headmaster in his brand new Austin Allegro…..

Yes I did, pooped on the back seat….

my dad gave me a pound note, when he got home from work as a reward.

 

[The Optimist]

Isn't there a tory MP on that list on the other thread who would answer 'on my friends face'?

That’s probably not considered strange for a Tory MP!

 

[The Optimist]

On a lads trip to Slovenia. We'd spent the first bit of Saturday afternoon riding Monster Rollers (basically very large scooters) down the side of the nearest mountain and into the town where we were staying, where they were obviously setting up for a festival. We handed back the vehicles and went back into town and spent the rest of the Saturday afternoon and most of the night drinking beer and eating meat.

The next day we'd planned a walk round a couple of the mountains and back into a valley and got a cable car up to the highest mountain station. We scrambled over the top of the peak to see that the route my mate had picked was on a thin shale path with no handle and a sheer 2000 metre drop. At this point my @rsehole went and so did three of my friends and we decided our walk would instead involve the much easier route we'd scootered the day before, My guts were therefore set to "rumble" but the others decided we'd have a quick coffee at the cafe that we next to the cable care station before we went down.

The caffeine started a rumbling in my guts that I've never truly experienced before or since. I urgently needed to give birth to a Douglas or it would be brown trouser time. Luckily there was a Kermit next to the cafe so in I went, along with a mate who was in similar distress. Even more luckily there were two traps.

The splashdown made a noise like Gemma Collins jumping in to a diving pool off the highboard and it smelled like a Palace fan. For extra comic effect, as it came out, I yelled "EXPELLIAMUS!"

Imagine my surprise when I emerged to find two elderly Slovenians politely queueing for the traps.

Is that a really long way of saying the strangest place you took a dump is in err….. a toilet?!

 

[Blatter]

In / through the Thunderbox at the aft end of a Dhow in the Persian Gulf.

And also, like Charlies Shinpad (Post #14), at the bottom of the North Sea.