Whats the worst Poo Situation you have ever had?

[NMH]

Colitis, either follows constipation or youve been putting things up your shitbox.

Tw@

I'd eaten a dodgy oyster.
It was food poisoning, aka montezuma's revenge. Colitis my arse

 

[El Presidente]

Had a very runny event whilst at a student party, and because they were students, they had bought Aldi budget toilet roll, which was about 0.1 micron thick. Went straight through it and ended up looking like Michael Jackson's finger.

 

[foul old ron]

Sometimes it's nice to know you are not alone.
After having an unfortunate accident in a nightclub I cleaned myself up in the loo and decided to hide my soiled boxers in the cistern. On removing the lid I discovered there were two pairs already there! I take it this is common practice.

 

[Skaville]

Gold?

 

[Stoichkov]

Not me, but I heard a great story about a UK cyclist

In long cycle races, they often have feed zones where they collect their food in bags called 'mussettes' and sling them over their head so they can remove the food and drink

The cyclist (I can't remember his name?) got caught short and dissapeared behind a hedge to have a clear out. What he failed to take into account was that his mussette would end up on the ground behind him as he squatted. Job done, a couple of miles down the road he had a nasty suprise when he dipped into his goody bag.

On another cycling related poo-story, 3 times Tour De France winner Greg Lemond shit himself during a big mountain stage. Apparantley, the journalists that attempted to interview him when he crossed the finish line some hot, sweaty hours later have never forgot the stench.

 

[csider]

FIXTURES.............there was a thread about shitting at work, all the same stories 'popping out' again

 

[The Ringleader]

Once had a poo so big i had to stand up as it will still firmly up my arse and down the u bend ended up blocking my toilet

 

[footychick]

My 4 year old daughter did a poo at the beach in Wales and it was almost as long as her and she's only little.
It looked like a snake was coming out of her arse, was funny.
She nearly always does mahoosive poos.

 

[Tim Over Whelmed]

Went out on the pop on a Friday night in Watford after I'd agreed to help a mate out at his shop in Wimbledon on the Saturday. Got in very late and woke very early, quick shower and left Watford for Stanmore Underground.

Whilst stood on platform at Stanmore sneezed and shit myself!

Quick trip to toilet and major clean up followed by awful journey all the way to Wimbledon, got there, via Boots for a spray, and my mate said he'd got someoene else local as he didn't think I'd make it and I needn't have bothered ... I left

 

[Woodchip]

Once had a poo so big i had to stand up as it will still firmly up my arse and down the u bend ended up blocking my toilet

I've had a few pyramids above the water level and one or two that never made a splash, but never that bad.

 

[BadFish]

After a heavy weekend on...well on all sorts of things (fully recovered apart from a touch of lose bellyness)......I was taking a group of kid climbing up in the peak district. After a long drive we were heading straight for the crag and I was desperate for a shit. I lept out of the van shouted to my mate to get the kids to the crag, ran off well away from the path we took to the rocks and let one rip. It was higly unpleasant but I dealt with the fall out pretty well only to find my mate had followed me with the kids their teacher etc etc in tow. I was desperately trying to divert him from his path and away from the offending mess I had just made. Anyway the dozy twonk bush bashed right through the offending area causing many of the kids to exclaim about the sticky poo they were walking next to.

 

[centurion40]

I was once laid up with a bad stomach bug when an urgent need for yet another shit took hold, unfortunately didn't make it and ended up with some pretty nasty runny shit running down my legs, decided that as the loo was no longer required the best course of action was straight into the shower, having cleaned up the offending mess decided to go back to bed only to be confronted with a lovely set of shitty footprints running along the landing.......... oh happy days

 

[seagullondon]

I've had a few pyramids above the water level and one or two that never made a splash, but never that bad.

thank you for bouncing this! Brilliant stuff on here