[Misc] What the actual f*** is this abomination?

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

You can see the size of it from the saw tip. I dug it out of the roots of a 30 year old bush I decided to dig up.

(I put it somewhere safe, in case you think I dunked it in a mug of Tequila and downed it in one).

 

[The Clamp]

Beetle larvae I think.

 

[The Clamp]

I was correct.

Larval: Beetle larvae are grub or worm-like in appearance and have voracious appetites. It is in this stage that wood-destroying beetles, such as powderpost and Longhorned beetles, do their damage to structures. The larvae of these beetles feed on the cellulose structure of timber, eating the wood from the inside out.

 

[The Clamp]

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Cheers @The Clamp

I usually protect wildlife but Mrs T suggests I should have stomped it. I'll look for the little bugger tomorroiw. Before it destroys my lawn.

I suspect it's Palace in disguise.

 

[Mr Bridger]

Ffs, HT ‘s food thread from Marseille ?

 

[Zeberdi]

Cheers @The Clamp

I usually protect wildlife but Mrs T suggests I should have stomped it. I'll look for the little bugger tomorroiw. Before it destroys my lawn.

I suspect it's Palace in disguise.

Please do not do that - it’s a stag beetle larva as Clamp says - very good for the garden and a priority species for conservation, they are a Red Listed species - it wont do anything to your lawn it feeds on dead wood ffs and will fly away once hatched.

You need to bury it again with rotting wood in a shady place … or if you must relocate it to some old woods somewhere and likewise bury it the depth you found it.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Please do not do that - it’s a stag beetle larva as Clamp says - very good for the garden and a priority species for conservation, they are a Red Listed species - it wont do anything to your lawn it feeds on dead wood ffs and will fly away once hatched.

You need to bury it again with rotting wood in a shady place … or if you must relocate it to some old woods somewhere and likewise bury it the depth you found it.

OK!

And that is exactly what I did.

Mind you, if my lawn comes up crunk next year, I will be sending you an invoice

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Cockchafer grub. May bug, June bug. Very similar to Stag beetle but they're rarer than rocking horse droppings where as the chafer beetle is everywhere.
Chafers about 1" to 1 1/2" Stag beetle up to 4"

 

[Zeberdi]

About stag beetles - Stag Beetles

Identification Stag beetles have a shiny black head and thorax (middle section), and chestnut-brown wing cases. Males have large antler-like jaws, female jaws are much smaller. Stag beetles vary in size. Males are usually about 4-8cm long, females are smaller, usually 3-5cm long. A fully-grown...

stagbeetles.ptes.org

https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/trees-woods-and-wildlife/animals/beetles/cockchafer-beetle/

(It looked too big to me on that saw-head and from HWT’s reaction to it but I’m not a very good judge of size from photos so give way to @Coldeanseagull )

Yes, Stag Beetles are scarce (getting scarcer!) but still relatively widespread in Southern England compared to the rest of the UK

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

Cockchafer grub. May bug, June bug. Very similar to Stag beetle but they're rarer than rocking horse droppings where as the chafer beetle is everywhere.
Chafers about 1" to 1 1/2" Stag beetle up to 4"

We had a lovely forsythia in our garden which died a few years ago. When I dug it up there were three of these in amongst the roots. I assumed they had killed it, but I guess it’s more that they were there because it was dying already.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Can't be 100% sure from the photo, but looks like some kind of wooden garden furniture

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Ffs, HT ‘s food thread from Marseille ?

 

[lawros left foot]

Cheers @The Clamp

I usually protect wildlife but Mrs T suggests I should have stomped it. I'll look for the little bugger tomorroiw. Before it destroys my lawn.

I suspect it's Palace in disguise.

Not much of a disguise, ugly and slimy looking.

 

[Wrong-Direction]

They're edible, I saw it on TV once

 

[sparkie]

Ffs, HT ‘s food thread from Marseille ?

What ? HT hurled that up in Harry's garden ?

 

[A1X]

It’s a bushtucker trial

 

[el punal]

Cheers @The Clamp

I usually protect wildlife but Mrs T suggests I should have stomped it. I'll look for the little bugger tomorroiw. Before it destroys my lawn.

I suspect it's Palace in disguise.

Can’t be. It’s not dressed in black, doesn’t wear a hoodie, and, it’s intelligent.

 

[Worried Man Blues]

Cockchafer grub. ..............where as the chafer beetle is everywhere.

Now that sounds painful!

 

[Coldeanseagull]

About stag beetles - Stag Beetles

Identification Stag beetles have a shiny black head and thorax (middle section), and chestnut-brown wing cases. Males have large antler-like jaws, female jaws are much smaller. Stag beetles vary in size. Males are usually about 4-8cm long, females are smaller, usually 3-5cm long. A fully-grown...

stagbeetles.ptes.org

https://www.woodlandtrust.org.uk/trees-woods-and-wildlife/animals/beetles/cockchafer-beetle/

(It looked too big to me on that saw-head and from HWT’s reaction to it but I’m not a very good judge of size from photos so give way to @Coldeanseagull )

Yes, Stag Beetles are scarce (getting scarcer!) but still relatively widespread in Southern England compared to the rest of the UK

Don't think for one second I'm right, it could be a scout from the planet zog!
Lancing used to be invaded by stag beetles within the last thirty years....but I've not seen any for a good length of time.
If it's over a couple of inches long, I'd say stag, if under, chafer. If only HWT had measured it!