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What other nations do you want us to sign players from?



Jimmy Grimble

Well-known member
Nov 10, 2007
10,090
Starting a revolution from my bed
I want our team to be FLOODED with foreign imports, so am now hoping for a German workhouse in midfield who is ridiculously efficient, a Dutch winger with BAGS of technical ability who cuts up full-backs but is a bit lazy, a Brazilian full-back who might as well be playing as an attacking left midfielder, a South Korean centre half who NEVER tires and is an absolute unit, a South African centre half who is FAT but amazing at headers and a little nippy Mexican striker who dives LOADS.

thank you please.
 




pishhead

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
5,248
Everywhere
I want a big f*** of African holding midfielder who is built like a brick shithouse who also has alleged ties with militia.
 




blue and white army

New member
Jan 31, 2008
1,714
Brighton
I want a no nonsense centre half, an absolute BRUTE of a man. Nationality preferably from either South America or Africa. Quite liked the look of Ghanian Jonathan, a bit hot headed and commits the odd rash challenge here and there but most importantly HE DOESN'T f*** ABOUT.
 






vegster

Sanity Clause
May 5, 2008
28,262
I want our team to be FLOODED with foreign imports, so am now hoping for a German workhouse in midfield who is ridiculously efficient, a Dutch winger with BAGS of technical ability who cuts up full-backs but is a bit lazy, a Brazilian full-back who might as well be playing as an attacking left midfielder, a South Korean centre half who NEVER tires and is an absolute unit, a South African centre half who is FAT but amazing at headers and a little nippy Mexican striker who dives LOADS.

thank you please.

hows this ?
 

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Jamie_Seagull

New member
Jun 22, 2010
287
Worthing
Muchos Jugadores Espanoles por favor! :D
 










Oct 25, 2003
23,964
about 3 of the following

-south american goalkeeper
-hard as f*** uruguayan centre back
-an american with a name like DaCrawford Smith jrn. or Lopez Jackson or something
-mexican central midfield playmaker
-any african
-an asian from a country where he's a national HERO (thailand or something)
-as much spanish as possible
-SCANDINAVIAN
-eastern european hard man
 








Captain Haddock

New member
Aug 2, 2005
2,128
The Deep Blue Sea
Also vital are:

a Russian midfield playmaker with long straight blond hair and an alice band,

an Eastern European CB from somewhere like Slovakia with a name containing virtually NO vowels

a tall African who runs awkwardly but has the uncanny knack of somehow keeping close control of the ball despite a highly questionable touch...maybe called Ademni Mohimbuku or some such flairtastics!

a token South Korean or Japanese midfielder...doesn't really matter what he does or if he can play at international level, so long as his presence sells millions of shirts to uber-kitsch giggly Asian teenage girls

a Spanish winger or three (maximum height 5ft2)

a South American called Rodrigo Noviega Dos Bravas or similar.
 




And a ridiculously small goalkeeper who wants to dribble with the ball and take free kicks.

if keeper is small, lets go the whole way and make him a small goaly from an asian country in the Yoshi Kawaguchi mold
 




Captain Haddock

New member
Aug 2, 2005
2,128
The Deep Blue Sea
Yup. A midfield rock called Werner Schpielhoffer or Heinrich Wankelhammer, who has a ridiculously hard shot, perfect clipped English and never gets injured.

And finally, the jewel in the crown:

a Bolivian, Venezuelan or Paraguayan attacker (let's call him Marcelo Riaz) who has at least three of the following:

- red boots
- long hair (preferably with alice band)
- an inability to remain vertical within 5 yards of ANY other player, including his own team mates
- 3 girlfriends
- a preposterous party trick
eg. running fast with ball on forehead, a penchant for attempting overhead back-heeled volleys when an easy header is on, or some kind of knee-juggling arrangement followed by a flick.
 




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