[News] We all nearly died last Thursday

[Easy 10]

I bet a surprising number of people would still go to work!


Not me, I hasten to add, I don't want to go when it's a little bit windy, let alone mass extinction.

Well thats the thing. Once word got out that we've only got however many months or weeks left to live, then 99% of the worlds population would immediately down tools, and everything would shut down overnight. The Valencia game would definitely be off for starters, and there'd be no telly, except maybe for continuous re-runs on UK Gold of Last of the Summer Wine and OFAH on a loop.

This is why I think the news would be suppressed for as long as possible by the authorities in power, to keep us all bovine and docile for as long as they can.

 

[Arthritic Toe]

Surely for the civilised world it would be preferable to live out the last weeks of our lives in relative peace in a functioning society with our families, rather than basically spending our last remaining days on Earth on one giant set of Mad Max 2 in amongst burning cars, looted shops and hollow eyed slack-jawed spacked-out junkies eating each others brains (or as its more commonly known, Croydon).

I think they would keep it quiet, but for selfish reasons. Those in the know would want to blow their savings extracting maximum enjoyment from their assets, while the rest of us are still beavering away keeping society safe and making our pension payments.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Well thats the thing. Once word got out that we've only got however many months or weeks left to live, then 99% of the worlds population would immediately down tools, and everything would shut down overnight. The Valencia game would definitely be off for starters, and there'd be no telly, except maybe for continuous re-runs on UK Gold of Last of the Summer Wine and OFAH on a loop.

This is why I think the news would be suppressed for as long as possible by the authorities in power, to keep us all bovine and docile for as long as they can.

Personally I keep a fully-maintained moped in the garden shed so that I can weave in and out of the stationery traffic and outrun the ensuing tsunami.

 

[Easy 10]

Personally I keep a fully-maintained moped in the garden shed so that I can weave in and out of the stationery traffic and outrun the ensuing tsunami.

Such powerful imagery.

 

[Gritt23]

"It snuck up on us" just sounds like Holly explaining away a near accident in Red Dwarf.

Next week we'll have a full-on Worldwide panic as they spot something else heading straight for us, only to realise it was a spec of grit on the screen.

 

[LlcoolJ]

Such powerful imagery.

"I keep a fully maintained moped. It's a very specific two wheeled vehicle. I will find you and I won't give you a backie"

 

[Stat Brother]

What was the name of the old film that had Earth spinning towards the sun after Russia & the USA simultaneously had nuclear tests knocking the planet off it's axis?

Everyone went cray-cray in that, which was nice.

 

[Garry Nelson's teacher]

I blame Boris Johnson. This sort of thing never happened before he came to power.

 

[A1X]

What was the name of the old film that had Earth spinning towards the sun after Russia & the USA simultaneously had nuclear tests knocking the planet off it's axis?

Everyone went cray-cray in that, which was nice.

The Day The Earth Caught Fire

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Caught_Fire

 

[nickbrighton]

Personally I keep a fully-maintained moped in the garden shed so that I can weave in and out of the stationery traffic and outrun the ensuing tsunami.

that should be filmed for a disaster movie sometime- maybe with girlfriend and a baby riding pillion for sentimental reasons

 

[Nobby]

so assuming at some point one of these is not going to miss, and basically wipe us all out, or as good as damn it, destroy what we laughingly call civilisation, would you want to know about it? Given there is nothing we could do, I think i would rather just have it happen, rather than have a 3 or 4 month countdown.

I hope it gets Nigel Farage first

 

[Nobby]

Maybe the sign will be the chaps who stand on street corners in London shouting "The end of the world is nigh" suddenly being arrested for leaking classified information.

Lol

 

[Gritt23]

Personally I keep a fully-maintained moped in the garden shed so that I can weave in and out of the stationery traffic and outrun the ensuing tsunami.

That's tremendous planning.

Do you also have a fully loaded water pistol (long-range version) to soak unsuspecting drunks as they stagger down your road late at night?

 

[Stat Brother]

The Day The Earth Caught Fire

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Day_the_Earth_Caught_Fire

Cheers

I was close but stuck on 'The Day The Earth Stood Still'.

 

[dsr-burnley]

I like the way the auto-advert on page 1 came up with an advert for people having trouble with incontinence. Know your market!!!

 

[Juan Albion]

This is odd because I read about it coming before it arrived, so someone knew. Mind you, I didn't get much past the headline that said something about several asteroids going to pass the earth that day, one closer than the moon.

 

[Stat Brother]

This is odd because I read about it coming before it arrived, so someone knew. Mind you, I didn't get much past the headline that said something about several asteroids going to pass the earth that day, one closer than the moon.

I believe they knew asteroids were on their way, 'they' just didn't know about the biggest one, as that sneaky fecker was using the sun as cover.



It says something about the state of NSC, this summer, that a thread suggesting global inhalation has bought the lightest relief.

 

[Juan Albion]

I believe they knew asteroids were on their way, 'they' just didn't know about the biggest one, as that sneaky fecker was using the sun as cover.

Are you suggesting there were TWO that came closer than the moon? I think I'll buy asteroid insurance then.

 

[clapham_gull]

Well thats the thing. Once word got out that we've only got however many months or weeks left to live, then 99% of the worlds population would immediately down tools, and everything would shut down overnight. The Valencia game would definitely be off for starters, and there'd be no telly, except maybe for continuous re-runs on UK Gold of Last of the Summer Wine and OFAH on a loop.

It's actually The Goon Show, Just a Minute and Round the Horne.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-36865345

 

[wallyback]

Surely with a surname like Duffy we'd expect him to just head it away.

I did wonder what Alan Duffy did after the left the Albion