Warning, this will make your eyes water.

[AmexRuislip]

Graphic content.
Sorry, I had to post this as I could not stop laughing.
Man has a yukka root removed from his bum, as he was using it as a sex aid.
You cannot make this up.
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/surgeons-remove-18-inch-yucca-7705845

 

[Prince Monolulu]

'We Can See You Holding Yams'

'You're too Ugli.......'

 

[Triggaaar]

Information I, and I'm sure many fellow NSCers, wish I'd learned the easy way:

"According to a 2014 article in Women’s Health Magazine, nurses in Chicago explained that female patients are sometimes admitted due to vaginal insertion of cucumbers, bananas and hot dogs.

The most common problem emanates from pieces of food breaking off inside the reproductive tract, a situation that may lead to infection and toxicity."

 

[Lady Whistledown]

A friend of mine's wife is a nurse in A&E at a local hospital.

I asked her once if she'd ever dealt with patients with comedy insertion injuries. She said it happens quite regularly.

She also said they've nearly always waited for ages before actually plucking up the courage to come in, that they nearly always say they've slipped and fallen on the item, usually while doing something mundane like hoovering....and that- curiously- they're nearly always naked whilst doing said hoovering

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Similarly, a nurse from the A&E dept in a hospital once informed me of a small, rubber wellington boot and a broken flourescent kitchen light bulb (not in the same instance).

 

[Titanic]

Mrs T has first hand experience of this... much to my amusement


(*working in casualty, that is!)

 

[AmexRuislip]

A friend of mine's wife is a nurse in A&E at a local hospital.

I asked her once if she'd ever dealt with patients with comedy insertion injuries. She said it happens quite regularly.

She also said they've nearly always waited for ages before actually plucking up the courage to come in, that they nearly always say they've slipped and fallen on the item, usually while doing something mundane like hoovering....and that- curiously- they're nearly always naked whilst doing said hoovering

Neanderthals from Crawley hospital I bet?

 

[greengull]

Crawley hospital does not have an A&E, just an urgent treatment centre....
Quick! pull it out

 

[beorhthelm]

"According to a 2014 article in Women’s Health Magazine, nurses in Chicago explained that female patients are sometimes admitted due to vaginal insertion of cucumbers, bananas and hot dogs.

i recall a conversation on this subject of bananas with a lady, who very matter of factly pointed out "you dont take the skin off it you doughnut". cue many surprised looks at such a practical advantage of the banana, and moving the discussion on possible male use of a doughnut (ring verses filled, what filling...)

Similarly, a nurse from the A&E dept in a hospital once informed me of a small, rubber wellington boot and a broken flourescent kitchen light bulb (not in the same instance).

wh... why would you try such an obvious risk

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

I heard a story about a chap who went to his doctor with a strawberry stuck up his bum.
Dr said: "I've got some cream for that"

and

Another bloke who went to the doctor with a vibrator up his ar$e.
Dr says: "I should be able to get that out with forceps".
Man says: "NO! don't take it out, just put some new batteries in it"

 

[Jack Straw]

I heard a story about a man who went to hospital because he had a bit of lettuce sticking out of his bum.
The doctor said that that was just the tip of the Iceberg!

 

[el punal]

I heard a story about a chap who went to his doctor with a strawberry stuck up his bum.
Dr said: "I've got some cream for that"

and

Another bloke who went to the doctor with a vibrator up his ar$e.
Dr says: "I should be able to get that out with forceps".
Man says: "NO! don't take it out, just put some new batteries in it"

1) Man goes to the doctor and says " I've got a golf ball stuck up my arse."

Doctor examines man and says "Yes, it's gone up a fairway."

2) Man goes to the doctor and says "I think I've got a lettuce stuck up my arse."

Doctor examines and says " I think it's the tip of an iceberg."

.

 

[Eeyore]

Or the man who went in with a camera up his jacksy. His face was a picture.

 

[sir albion]

I used a bottle of bud many years ago lol

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Neanderthals from Crawley hospital I bet?

Redhill

 

[Seagulls over Essex]

Similarly, a nurse from the A&E dept in a hospital once informed me of a small, rubber wellington boot and a broken flourescent kitchen light bulb (not in the same instance).

Did she say if the kitchen light was a 4ft or a 6ft?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Did she say if the kitchen light was a 4ft or a 6ft?

Either way, he must have been turned on.

 

[NooBHA]

Uurrrgghhhhhhhhhh yuk

 

[drew]

He'd probably been ok had he not used Miracle Gro as the lubricant!!!

 

[dazzer6666]

i recall a conversation on this subject of bananas with a lady, who very matter of factly pointed out "you dont take the skin off it you doughnut". cue many surprised looks at such a practical advantage of the banana, and moving the discussion on possible male use of a doughnut (ring verses filled, what filling...)



wh... why would you try such an obvious risk

Exactly my thoughts - could easily burn yourself cooking a late night snack in the dark