Green Cross Code Man
Wunt be druv
I am not usually a fan of female comedians but she was very funny and very clever as well. What a year it's been. [emoji22]
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Victoria Wood has died
- Thread starter Wozza
- Start date
Cowfold Seagull
Fan of the 17 bus
My God, this is a real shock. I had no idea.
R.I.P.
R.I.P.
Horton's halftime iceberg
Blooming Marvellous
Brilliant and very cleaver comedian - absolutely tragic, very sad news
MattBackHome
Well-known member
- Jul 7, 2003
- 11,875
She was SO funny. What a shame.
SK1NT
Well-known member
RIP
2016 the grim reapers busiest year. Really getting depressing now
2016 the grim reapers busiest year. Really getting depressing now
Tricky Dicky
New member
RIP
2016 the grim reapers busiest year. Really getting depressing now
A rough year indeed, and it's only April. All of my childhood is now either dead or jailed.
RIP Victoria Wood, a truely talented lady in many spheres.
East Preston Gull
New member
A very funny, talented, writer and comedy genius. So sad:-(
Sent from my E6653 using Tapatalk
Sent from my E6653 using Tapatalk
glasfryn
cleaning up cat sick
Dinner ladies
she could put a briliant cast together
you were one very funny lady
RIP Victoria
she could put a briliant cast together
you were one very funny lady
RIP Victoria
- Jul 7, 2003
- 47,630
Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup
She licked her lips.
She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
Appealing.
I've really got an appetite.
I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.
No derision!
My decision—
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
So she said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it till our hearts go boom!
Go native,
Creative
Living in the living room.
This folly
Is jolly.
Bend me over backwards on me hostess trolley.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
I'm older,
Feel colder.
It's other things that turn me on.
I'm imploring:
I'm boring.
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
So she said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare.
I'll just wear
Stilettos and an oven glove.
Don't starve a
Girl of a palaver.
Dangle from the wardrobe in your balaclava.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I know I'd only get it wrong.
Don't angle
For me to dangle.
Me arms 'ave never been that strong.
Stop pouting.
Stop shouting.
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Share a night of wild romance,
Frenetic,
Poetic!
This could be your last big chance
To quote Milton,
To eat Stilton,
To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house.
I've got a busy evening planned.
Stop nagging.
I'm flagging.
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it
While I'm really in the mood!
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.
Be drastic
Gymnastic.
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I must refuse to get undressed.
I feel silly.
It's too chilly
To go without me thermal vest.
Don't choose me.
Don't use me.
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel I absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.
No cautions,
Just contortions!
Smear an avocado on me lower portions.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
It's really not my cup of tea.
I'm harassed,
Embarrassed.
I wish you hadn't picked on me.
No dramas!
Give me me pyjamas.
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to run amok.
Let's wiggle.
Let's jiggle.
Let's really make the rafters rock.
Be mighty.
Be flighty.
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go,
'Cause I know
Just how I want you to behave:
Not bleakly,
Not meekly.
Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup
She licked her lips.
She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
Appealing.
I've really got an appetite.
I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.
No derision!
My decision—
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
So she said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Do it till our hearts go boom!
Go native,
Creative
Living in the living room.
This folly
Is jolly.
Bend me over backwards on me hostess trolley.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
I'm older,
Feel colder.
It's other things that turn me on.
I'm imploring:
I'm boring.
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
So she said:
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare.
I'll just wear
Stilettos and an oven glove.
Don't starve a
Girl of a palaver.
Dangle from the wardrobe in your balaclava.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
But he said:
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I know I'd only get it wrong.
Don't angle
For me to dangle.
Me arms 'ave never been that strong.
Stop pouting.
Stop shouting.
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it,
Share a night of wild romance,
Frenetic,
Poetic!
This could be your last big chance
To quote Milton,
To eat Stilton,
To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house.
I've got a busy evening planned.
Stop nagging.
I'm flagging.
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it
While I'm really in the mood!
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.
Be drastic
Gymnastic.
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I must refuse to get undressed.
I feel silly.
It's too chilly
To go without me thermal vest.
Don't choose me.
Don't use me.
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel I absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.
No cautions,
Just contortions!
Smear an avocado on me lower portions.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
It's really not my cup of tea.
I'm harassed,
Embarrassed.
I wish you hadn't picked on me.
No dramas!
Give me me pyjamas.
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to run amok.
Let's wiggle.
Let's jiggle.
Let's really make the rafters rock.
Be mighty.
Be flighty.
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go,
'Cause I know
Just how I want you to behave:
Not bleakly,
Not meekly.
Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!
- Jan 3, 2012
- 17,355
Awful news. Just about the same age as me. I grew up with her. Enormously funny and a lot more besides. saw her doing stand-up about 30 years ago and she was brilliant.
And a decent, generous, caring and loyal human being as well.
And a decent, generous, caring and loyal human being as well.
Cadiz Seagull
Grey bearded old man
"Beat me on the bottom with the Womans Weekly" has got to be one of THE great lyrics.
R:I.P. Victoria
R:I.P. Victoria
Not really necessary, was it?I'll be campaigning for a minutes silence at the Derby game
Effing hell how many more this year? RIP
Sent from my D5803 using Tapatalk
Sent from my D5803 using Tapatalk
banjo
GOSBTS
RIP. Very funny lady.
LamieRobertson
Not awoke
Geez...just seen..shocked ...RIP
severnside gull
Well-known member
The very best
I've laughed more at Dinnerladies than anything I've ever seen on TV.
RIP
I've laughed more at Dinnerladies than anything I've ever seen on TV.
RIP
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