Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
When asked what the charge was, the hard-of-hearing prosecutor said: "Come again?"
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Very harsh: Prisoner found guilty of masturbating in his cell
- Thread starter Behind Enemy Lines
- Start date
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
The judge in this case was rumoured to be wielding the pork sword of justice.
Behind Enemy Lines
Well-known member
- Thread starter
- #23
Hampden Park
Ex R.N.
- Oct 7, 2003
- 4,993
he waived his 'gammon dagger' at those who sniggered
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
"When the witness claimed in court that the defendant's behaviour could have blinded her in both eyes, the defendant admitted he might have knocked one out."
Virgo's Haircut
Resident Train Guru
For a minute when I started to read it I thought David Batty has been convicted, sent down, then had a wank....
Franks Wild Years
New member
A new meaning to 'doing porridge"
Hampden Park
Ex R.N.
- Oct 7, 2003
- 4,993
knowing the yanks i am suprised he wasnt done for consuming alcohol as he'd had a hand shandy
Trufflehound
Re-enfranchised
When the defendant pointed out that he had in fact used a small rubber plant to conceal his act, the judge dismissed the claim and told him to stop beating around the bush.
Storer68
New member
Good to know that the Yanks have a hands on penal policy
NMH
Banned
Bet he thought he'd pulled, by a stroke of fortune. He stood to attention as tha t issue was raised, the penalty was a bit stiff but he had got his come-uppance, so he looked quite relieved afterwards. He would have got off, if he had behaved much batter and been more upstanding about it when caught with his trousers down.
Last edited:
Da Man Clay
T'Blades
- Dec 16, 2004
- 16,286
He must have had an awful lawyer not to get out of that.
Apparently, he had a written confession, but the judge just tossed it into the nearest bin.
otk
~(.)(.)~
He must have been right gutted, adding 60 days onto ten years! Btw is there an 'irony alert' smilie?
Gritt23
New member
Nice to see David Batty has found a career after football.
mejonaNO12 aka riskit
Well-known member
no MASTUR-proBATION for him then......
Tom Hark Preston Park
Will Post For Cash
- Jul 6, 2003
- 72,380
Bet he thought it would never stand up in court
bhaexpress
New member
Joking apart if the bloke had done the same thing in a UK prison the outcome would have been the same. In both penal systems there are a surprising number of female warders and what this guy was doing was indecent exposure.
