US Immigration queues - what is it with them?

[El Presidente]

I went to San Francisco, and because I had twenty Russian stamps in my passport I was grilled for ages by the immigration official, who then tried to catch me out 'Great Escape' style by asking me questions in Russian. Given that my Russian consists of three words ('Yes', 'No' and 'Blowjob') I didn't have a clue what he was on about. He eventually, reluctantly, allowed me in. Bizarre in the least!

 

[Badger]

I went to San Francisco, and because I had twenty Russian stamps in my passport I was grilled for ages by the immigration official, who then tried to catch me out 'Great Escape' style by asking me questions in Russian. Given that my Russian consists of three words ('Yes', 'No' and 'Blowjob') I didn't have a clue what he was on about. He eventually, reluctantly, allowed me in. Bizarre in the least!

Did he enjoy the blowjob though?

 

[El Presidente]

Did he enjoy the blowjob though?

My lips are sealed

 

[nicko31]

I remember a few years ago a group of Irish lads turned up. When ask what was the purpose of their trip, one replied "Just for the crack" - questioned for 2 hours...

 

[Easy 10]

My lips are sealed

Thats why you're so damn GOOD at it.

 

[itszamora]

I went in last year via Toronto, no problems at all, although the immigration woman did surprise me by declaring that London was full of foreigners. I decided against reminding her that she would have been one as well when she went there, and all was well. Leaving a couple of weeks later from Vegas (having bumped into some fellow Albion fans in the terminal, incidentally) was also ok, although the guy on security did feel the need to yell "What's in your pockets?!" at me when there was absolutely nothing in them.

 

[SurreySeagulls]

Been to the US dozens of times and not really had a problem TBH. However, I went to Niagra as we were staying with friends in Toronto and decided to for the crack to go over to the US side of the falls. So me wifey and two saucepan lids (6 months and 4 at the time) drove to the border crossing in our hire car and were all told to go in to the interivew room where they kept us for 1 hour, photogrpahed me and the wife and took our finger prints then promptly charged us 60$ for the priviledge of going into the US for a couple of hours. Maybe the did this because they couldn't believe we were so stupid to travle across to the US side of the falls in February. It was bloody freezing.

 

[Westdene Seagull]

Never been to mainland US but went to St Thomas in the US Virgin Islands. Our flight was forced to divert to a small island where our luggage was chucked off the plane into a large warehouse. US customs officials then proceeded to rip every case open and you then had to re-pack them. Given this experience and that 90% of Americans I've met have been complete arrogant tosspot wankers I won't be visiting their rotten country any time soon.

 

[El Presidente]

Thats why you're so damn GOOD at it.

One tries darling, one tries x

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

If you think that's bad, you should try getting a visa to do any sort of work. I'm there just one week a year for work, and so required to have an "I" visa. To book an appointment at the Embassy, you have to ring a phone line that costs more than a pound a minute, then when you turn up two weeks later you have to go in with nothing but the clothes you're wearing - ie. no bags, phones etc - so those all have to go in a locker at the station.

Then you queue. And queue. And queue. And you finally get to a window, you hand over your stuff, and you start queueing again. Then you get your "interview", where they ask a series of questions to which the only sensible answer is no, unless you want one of the guys with automatic weapons to drop you there and then.

Four or five hours later, you emerge blinking into the sunlight, with the right to enter the US to go about your lawful business for another five years.

Then you arrive at Chicago or JFK, and you *still* have to queue for 2 hours to be fingerprinted and photographed and generally treated like someone who's just itching to do something really bad if they will only give you the chance.

As it happens, I'm actually very fond of Americans in general, but this is when you see them at their insular worst.

I had to renew my I Visa last year - every five years you have to jump through more and more hoops to satisfy them.

But if you have a choice, try to avoid the tourist ports of entry. On my last trip to LA I flew via Dallas, where the immigration lines were short, and when I arrived in LA I could get straight off the plane and into the hire car without queuing.

As for New York, fly into Newark if possible rather than JFK. Shorter immigration queues, and direct trains from the airport into Manhattan. Much easier.

 

[Cian]

Petition the Foreign Office to get the UK to agree a CBP arrangement with the US. Clear immigration, customs and agriculture control at your home airport; guaranteed entry to the US more or less (there's basically no risk of being sent home on arrival).

Airline can arrive at a domestic terminal or even a non-international airport if they want to, makes transferring extremely easy.

 

[Fair port]

I fly regular to the US about 10 times a year. If you use a smaller airport life is easy Raleigh Durham or Charlotte in North Carolina are a breeze took 15 minutes last week getting in via RDU .Miami has Improved tip go towards the line that says diplomatic staff the line is usually empty and they will process any visitor if the line is free. Smile and say Sir or Mam and the staff are usually very friendly.JFK have some really funny staff who love Brits and football (soccer) just smile and be positive it helps

 

[Beach Hut]

Only been to Orlando, Stanford, Vegas and San Francisco and never waited long at any of them.

Orlando had 4 planes arrive at the same time and cleared the hall in an hour - pretty efficient in my view

 

[nicko31]

Petition the Foreign Office to get the UK to agree a CBP arrangement with the US. Clear immigration, customs and agriculture control at your home airport; guaranteed entry to the US more or less (there's basically no risk of being sent home on arrival).

Airline can arrive at a domestic terminal or even a non-international airport if they want to, makes transferring extremely easy.

About as likely as Albion winning the Champions League within 5 years...

 

[essbee]

don't bother with the US these days. Worst customs/border officials I've ever experienced.

 

[Gwylan]

If you think that's bad, you should try getting a visa to do any sort of work. I'm there just one week a year for work, and so required to have an "I" visa. To book an appointment at the Embassy, you have to ring a phone line that costs more than a pound a minute, then when you turn up two weeks later you have to go in with nothing but the clothes you're wearing - ie. no bags, phones etc - so those all have to go in a locker at the station.

Then you queue. And queue. And queue. And you finally get to a window, you hand over your stuff, and you start queueing again. Then you get your "interview", where they ask a series of questions to which the only sensible answer is no, unless you want one of the guys with automatic weapons to drop you there and then.

Four or five hours later, you emerge blinking into the sunlight, with the right to enter the US to go about your lawful business for another five years.

I go to the US regularly for work and need an I visa too. Last time I went, I applied online - takes about 5 minutes and you print out the visa yourself: no queueing needed.

Having said that, last time I went took me nearly four hours to get out of immigration. Queued up for over an hour, they didn't like the cut of my jib so took me away to another room with all the other people with dodgy papers/passports and had to wait for more than two hours to be seen. It wasn't a dodgy I visa though - apparently my fingerprints matched those of a serious criminal.

I arrived just after 6.00 and got to my hotel room at 11.30 - there was my evening in New York gone for a burton.

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

Never had a problem with them and always found them at least as polite as officials in any other countries. I’ve got a US work visa which might make things easier, but I think everybody gets checked due to heightened security. They have to balance making their country secure with being accessible to tourists which cannot be easy. When I worked at Gatwick there was talk about US customs and immigration having pre-clearance facilities at Gatwick and Heathrow so you could be processed in the UK and then walk straight out when you got Stateside but it never happened.

 

[Another Berkshire Seagull]

Travelled to Seattle yesterday. Took less than 15 minutes to get through immigration and the officer was very polite.

I suspect it will be a worse scenario getting back into my own country, however still not as bad as the media will make out.