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Unitentional Double-entendres



The Timekeeper

FAT BOY 'NOT' SLIM
Sep 25, 2003
659
At home, the pub,the bookies
Here are 12 of the finest (unintentional) Double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio. Enjoy.

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"

2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."

3. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."

4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."

5. US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ..... Oh my god!! What have I just said??"

6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!

8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday."

9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

:p:p
 




Djmiles

Barndoor Holroyd
Dec 1, 2005
12,064
Kitchener, Canada
Quality:lolol:
 


clippedgull

Hotdogs, extra onions
Aug 11, 2003
20,789
Near Ducks, Geese, and Seagulls
This will only make sense if you watch GoldenBalls with Jasper Carrot (legend)

Last night two girls were trying to persuade a guy to take them through to the next round. One girl had more cash on her front row of balls and the othe girl said 'I can't disagree that you have more up front than me!' Raised a laugh and a smirk from Jasper :)
 


pasty

A different kind of pasty
Jul 5, 2003
31,036
West, West, West Sussex








Bevendean Hillbilly

New member
Sep 4, 2006
12,805
Nestling in green nowhere
Yes, thanks for that, got a funny look from the person photocopying outside my office when I started snorting with mirth.
 






Staypuft

New member
Sep 21, 2006
127
Lewes
A friend of mine once asked someone for a slurp of his cock (instead of coke)

Not really a double entendre more a slip of the tongue
 






Seagull over NZ

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
1,607
Bristol
"The batsman's Holding the bowler's Wiley"

Don't like ot be part of the correctional police but it was actually "The bowler's Holding the Batsman's Willey".

Re the rugby commentator in NZ, that man is the legend that is Murray Mexted who has a number of beauties:

"You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that."

"I can tell you it's a magnificent sensation when the gap opens up like that and you just burst right through."

"There's nothing that a tight forward likes more than a loosie right up his backside"

"Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now."
 












I think the king of double-entendres has to be the austin powers films

"Welcome to my sub, its long hard and full of seamen."

"Its not the size of it mate,its how you use it"
 










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