[Humour] Ultras (Secret Plans)

[Perry Milkins]

So what will the Ultras have planned for us next month?

Here are some thoughts:

• Instead of the rhythmic drumming. A jazz mix on the drum ‘boom tish tish’ and a harmonious rendition of ‘Mack the Knife’?

• The team coach decorated and then coloured in. But will it be ours or theirs?

• Instead of the bouncing perhaps some Flatley-esque Irish jigging?

• A big cloth rolled out with a ‘Muriel’ of Damien ‘Damo’ Delaney stating he was just too good for Harry Kane?

• With Pyros banned perhaps some smoke signals from behind Sainsbury’s using an old Commanche phrasebook telling us how devilish they are?

 

[gripper stebson]

It'll be some enormous banner stating how the fact they have been in the PL for 5 years means they are better than us.

Guaranteed.

 

[Gritt23]

I think you're over thinking it. It will be a deluge of vile homophobic abuse, with an unhealthy smattering of pyros. Simples .... because they are.

 

[DavidRyder]

Seeing as we could be safe by then and they could be floundering, I don't think there's anything they could do that would stop my enjoyment of the situation! (subject to positive results beforehand)..

 

[Hillian1]

This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

 

[Mr Bridger]

This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

View attachment 94861

This should read “forever sh!thouse”

 

[Bob'n'weave]

This lot have got some real issues. Two-bobbery of the highest order. "Ultra" knobs, loathed by most fans, including their own, unreadable germanic banners, ridiculous pyro antics, that utterly shite chant they think is epic. I could go on but we all know the long list of laughables. Sorry forgot to mention possibly the most odious chairman since Mao.
I genuinely feel sorry for uncle Woy, he doesn't deserve this shower of shit. I think it is time for Pikey FC to put a few wrongs right and bring back the only manager that can really pull off the delusional antics of their own little fantasy football Narnia. PARDEW, come back, all is forgiven.

So looking forward to stuffing them next month. And yes, I think they will up the ante with another laughable stunt when we play them. I can't think what it could be though, i'd have to sniff glue for an hour or so just to get on their wavelength.

 

[Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo]

Won't they be too busy with last min revision for their GCSE's?

 

[brightonrock]

This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

View attachment 94861

This should read “forever sh!thouse”

forgot to mention possibly the most odious chairman since Mao.

It'll be some enormous banner stating how the fact they have been in the PL for 5 years means they are better than us.

Guaranteed.

Definitely this one. Something along the lines of "BHA = forever in our shadow". But of course judging from the photo above, it's hard not to be in the shadow of a looming 100ft bellend.

 

[The Gem]

How good will it be if we relegate them that day.

 

[Exile]

How good will it be if we relegate them that day.

Amazing. But impossible, sadly.

Palace have 27 points now. Even if they get zero more before our game, and we beat them too, they still have 4 more games to take them to a potential 39 points.

 

[lawros left foot]

This lot have got some real issues. Two-bobbery of the highest order. "Ultra" knobs, loathed by most fans, including their own, unreadable germanic banners, ridiculous pyro antics, that utterly shite chant they think is epic. I could go on but we all know the long list of laughables. Sorry forgot to mention possibly the most odious chairman since Mao.
I genuinely feel sorry for uncle Woy, he doesn't deserve this shower of shit. I think it is time for Pikey FC to put a few wrongs right and bring back the only manager that can really pull off the delusional antics of their own little fantasy football Narnia. PARDEW, come back, all is forgiven.

So looking forward to stuffing them next month. And yes, I think they will up the ante with another laughable stunt when we play them. I can't think what it could be though, i'd have to sniff glue for an hour or so just to get on their wavelength.

To get on their wavelength, it’s the full frontal lobotomy that’s required, I’m afraid.

 

[lawros left foot]

We could take our own banner


‘You sold him, We bought him’

11 goals’( or however many he has by then)


That’s what makes Murray Mint!

 

[Guinness Boy]

Definitely this one. Something along the lines of "BHA = forever in our shadow". But of course judging from the photo above, it's hard not to be in the shadow of a looming 100ft bellend.

Coincidentally, “giant looming bellend” is one of Steve Parish’s many nicknames.


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[KZNSeagull]

I would like to know - if there are 3.5bn women on the planet and no two are the same, why do they only make 4 shapes of pad?

 

[Wrong-Direction]

Amazing. But impossible, sadly.

Palace have 27 points now. Even if they get zero more before our game, and we beat them too, they still have 4 more games to take them to a potential 39 points.

Spoil sport!

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[The Gem]

Amazing. But impossible, sadly.

Palace have 27 points now. Even if they get zero more before our game, and we beat them too, they still have 4 more games to take them to a potential 39 points.

Think you forgot about the teams around them no? If the others draw or win lots of games between now and our game they could be struggling

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

primarily homophobic abuse I'd imagine (completely going against what the club they try so hard to emulate- St Pauli- stand for)

 

[Klaas]

This one of a couple of MASSIVE Bell Ends will live long in the memory.

View attachment 94861

Thanks for posting that, I'd forgotten how bad it was.

I actually have a small modicum of respect for them for trying to create noise. Everything else though, is SO bad. Just look at that display, look at it for crying out loud!

A teenager could design something better on their phone these days. Just shit.

 

[studio150]

Won't they be too busy with last min revision for their GCSE's?

What, surely all going own the Ultra apprenticeship route rather than the academic one