Alan: Oh God, yeah, yeah. Fascinating creatures, though. Looks like a lady, but really it’s a man. I don’t find them attractive, it’s just confusing. I don’t suppose you’ve got any army stories about them?
Michael: I did hear about this corporal, right?
[Alan lies down on the bed, listening to Michael’s story, fascinated.]
Michael: And he’s in the third battalion this lad, but he’s right mean, OK? And he goes out in Bangkok, right? And all the prostitutes is comin’ up and saying “How much?” and he’s going “Oh I’m not paying that”, right? And then this beautiful lassie comes up –
[While Michael tells his story, Lynn knocks on the door.]
Michael: – she’s gorgeous, man. And she’s half the price of the others. And they’re getting down to it –
[Lynn enters the room]
Michael: – he puts his hand up her skirt, gets a hold of the old meat and two veg, right? Thinks, hang on, I’ve paid my money, I’m going to have something, so he flips him over, and he fu-
[Michael has just noticed Lynn, standing in the corner of the room.]
Michael: And funnily enough, it lands on its wheels, and it starts first time and they just drive away.
Alan: Strangest story I’ve ever heard. [Gets up] Oh, hello. Lynn. Oh! I see what you were… ah, right, yes. Hello, Michael was just telling me an army story about a friend of his who slept with… a landrover. Lonely nights in the desert.
Michael: That’s all fixed, now, Mr. Partridge. I’ll be on my way.